X Factor - Best of British Week. I think we'll need it.

[RudolphUcker]

Tis I btw, Sue. In Christmas guise.

So it's Dear Old Blighty week. This is a new thing and promises to be second in mawkishness and misplaced patriotism only to the MiliWives screeching Jerusalem at the Pride of Britain awards, wearing GingerSpice outfits, straddling a Gurkha apiece. In bowler hats. that may not have happened but I could see it

The Babyshits are paying tribute to the armed forces, in particular Pretty Shit's brother - who is a Marine fingers crossed for photos

Rylan is doing a mash-up. I am hoping for I Vow To Thee My Country mixed with London Town.

Nothing on the rest. Nanfucker doing 'Grandma, we love you'? Pinhead being angsty and 'urban'? Same old, same old

Oh, and Wand Erection are doing a one-off performance, in a cunning bid to get their entire fan base watching the Baby Shits.

Any predictions?

You might, Sue. But you'd try not to look enticing while you were doing it.

Ella - thank God, someone who can actually sing. Any idea how old she is? I'm sure it's deeply relevant to her singing ability ...

She's stoned surely? Maybe the white suit is to disguise flyaway traces of Colombian marching powder.

WTF has Tulisa done to her barnet?

Did they know what they were singing about?

Aww,the JL ad.

I love it. So there.

Ah Badger's I'm getting that way myself, they're so dreadful this year.

Bloody hell! I just saw an advert for a Furby in Tesco. It was £54.97! They were about a tenner when mine were small!

ha haaaaaaaa Rudolph either a man or a guitar

Tulisa's barnet is copying the bond girl's hair i think (looked cack on her too )

I also love the JL snowman. I'm unashamed.

Ella- she's only 16,apparently. Imagine that!

'Little star'? Is she trying to be Cheryl Cole?

Ella's only 16 you know.

DS2 just called Dulisa a Scrag! Apparently that is another word for Minger!

What is a kardashian exactly?

Hey!

Does anyone know how old Ella is? Please?

giraffes Shitz usually is like this but not usually as early on in the show! Scary innit?!

I wish they would leave her bloody eye make up alone, she looks like a startled Miss Piggy with those ridiculous drawn on wings.

scrag, im gonna use that , be down wi the kids

Not the most obvious choice of best of British- ahh,tis because he is Dullisa's mate.

Tinie Tempah the best of British? Really?

Fucking hell, it's Tommee Tippee not the fucking queen

Why are people keeping her age a secret? Why is no one talking about this? Astounding!

bagpuss: A vaccuos tramp famous for having an unpleasant family. I think. May be wrong.

Not sure Badger, you'd think they'd mention it at some point..

She's only 16 but she can make a song her own bless her. Well not so much her own as one of Adele's b sides.