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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

When did you lose your virginity?

234 replies

kit47 · 30/10/2021 16:24

My DD 14 is very sensible and whilst I'm not worried about her, a conversation we had this morning shocked me!
Talking about having sex and the age most people lose their virginities. We talk about 16 as age of consent in UK before she tells me that lots of girls in her year at school (Y9) have already had sex, some even doing it in Y8. DD said most of the girls were pleased to have 'got it out the way'! DD said she was not ready and that was fine too (phew!)
I lost my virginity at 16 and thought that was quite average, I had no regrets. It got me thinking though, what age did you 'lose it' and did you regret it being at that age?

OP posts:
LindaLooky · 03/11/2021 21:52
  1. Nobody was that interested in me and I didnt much want to anyway. Eventually I got to the point of feeling like I should get it done...and met someone persistent who wanted to! Never enjoyed it much, relieved I've tried it (one partner for ten years now single), happy to never bother again Grin

I wonder if I'd have a "healthier" attitude to it if I'd started earlier.

hellywelly3 · 03/11/2021 22:25

17, I was one of the last of my friends. I kinda wanted to get it out the way. He wasn’t someone I loved but he was really good looking and a nice enough guy, dated for a couple of months.

jackstini · 03/11/2021 22:53

Almost 18
Bit of a regret - was with the wrong person. I should have done it about 5 months earlier with my first 'love'

Chris893 · 04/11/2021 10:11

I was 14 and it was very enjoyable and didn`t hurt at all.
A friend was only just 12 and the boy 14 and well developed!
She said it was really good. Friends said it would hurt a lot, but she said there was no pain or discomfort at all.

Gonnagetgoing · 04/11/2021 10:38

14 and a half and yes I regret it as my 2 best friends pressurised me as they’d both done it. I had no idea about contraception and thought I was pregnant.

garlictwist · 05/11/2021 06:44

Are you sure these girls are telling the truth? It's not uncommon for teenagers to brag about these things. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 23 for various reasons but I never let on that I was a virgin for so long.

OH was 13 when he lost his. I think that's shockingly young but he disagrees and just says he was very mature. Maybe it's different for blokes.

Fireandflames666 · 10/11/2021 12:29

I was 19, I refused to be rushed by some outdated virginity bullcrap i used to hear.

emma342 · 10/11/2021 18:51

Completely relate. My oldest (15-year-old girl) says half her year lost have lost their virginities already, and a lot of them had sex for the first time when they were 14. Seems like that's when a lot of people lose their virginities now. Talked to my twin 12-year old daughters as well, they say a couple of people in their year that they know have already lost their virginities. Now that did shock me. Peer pressure can be really hard so make sure you advise your daughter to wait until she's at least 16, and also have conversations about: consent, using protection, and only doing it with someone you really like and only when you want to and feel safe and okay about doing so.

As to me, I lost my virginity when I was 19... I had sort of a phobia of sex. I wasn't taught proper sex education - I was taught that this goes there, and that was about it. I never knew how to actually do it until my friends told me at 16, and then I freaked out because I hadn't learnt sooner and developed a fear of having sex. Lasted about three years, but I eventually got over it. Make sure that you tell your daughter anything her school hasn't already told her, too!

Charmaine1611 · 07/01/2022 13:45

I lost my virginity when I was only 11. It was with my boyfriend who was 12. At the time I didn't think it was a big deal as I wasn't the only one in my group of friends having sex until I found myself pregnant at 12 and a mum at 13.

AlbusSeverusMalfoy · 07/01/2022 14:21

18 he was my first and (hopefully) last we are married with 2 kids now in our late 30s. No regrets waiting.

firstimemamma · 07/01/2022 14:57
StylishMummy · 07/01/2022 15:00

I was 15 and have no regrets. Boy was the same age and we respected each other.

I experienced CSA at 10 and that completely screwed me mentally for years. But the experience with my then boyfriend at 15 was actually quite sweet and gentle.

CherylPorter350 · 07/01/2022 15:06

13 - a lot of regrets

Od130990 · 07/01/2022 15:31

13 exactly 2 weeks before my 14th Birthday & it was the night of his 14th birthday we'd been friends from 8 years old stayed together another 2 years after loosing our virginity's but still best friends now at 40. Don't regret it one bit

TheBeesKnee · 07/01/2022 15:53

I was 17 and also mainly did it to get it of the way. I didn't want to go to uni as a virgin as I knew some guys would see it as a challenge/win. I also "practiced" with a hair brush and other things, very glad I did as it really hurt! I'm not sure that I could have handled that in the real run!

Itslit · 07/01/2022 16:05

I hate the term ‘losing virginity’. I didn’t lose anything.
I first had sex with a boy when I was 16.

TitoMojito · 07/01/2022 16:16

22 and I'm really glad for that. However, sex totally freaked me out as a teenager and I still find it kind of blegh to think about. I've only ever had sex with my partner and we plan to get married someday and I'm really very content to have only had one partner.

That's not to say anyone is wrong for having more than one partner, it's just that my feelings about sex are quite negative so having one person who I feel comfortable with is exactly what I need.

Onlyrainbows · 07/01/2022 19:41

23 almost 24 and I was too old!

BitcherOfBlakiven · 07/01/2022 20:08

Wish I’d waited longer, he was a cunt, and I was traumatised from my close friend dying in a car accident, so got drunk and had sex.

Not my best idea.

colabucks · 08/01/2022 10:27

I was 14. No regrets here, I wasn't coerced, pressured, anything. My boyfriend at the time had just turned 16.

I do look at 14 year olds now though and think that they look like children (they are children of course) and I think to myself 'Christ, that was too young', but for me, it was a consenting situation and I didn't feel taken advantage of. After my relationship with him ended, I didn't have sex again till I was 17. Not sure if that matters or not though!

Blushingm · 09/01/2022 20:04

My 18th birthday - a ONS with a guy from work. Seemed everyone knew about it!

Absolutely no regrets though

ChittyChittyBoomBoom · 14/01/2022 22:56

It was a month before my 15th birthday…exactly the same age as dd is now 😳. I don’t have any regrets though. We’d been together for a year, planned it and stayed together for another year afterwards.

HerRoyalHappiness · 14/01/2022 23:11
  1. I was raped. No ifs or buts. It was rape. I was too afraid to say no.

My first consensual sex I was 14, but also I wouldn't have done that if I didn't think my worth as a person was linked to if I gave a boy sex or not. And that's what I was led to believe after being raped for 3 years by a police officers nephew, in the police officers House. So no I never went to the police.

MinglingFlamingo · 14/01/2022 23:12

20

And I was the last of my group of friends

Strawberry0909 · 14/01/2022 23:14

14, do regret, was a friend to get back at an ex boyfriend , seems so silly 16 years later it seems such a young age looking back

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