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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

When did you lose your virginity?

234 replies

kit47 · 30/10/2021 16:24

My DD 14 is very sensible and whilst I'm not worried about her, a conversation we had this morning shocked me!
Talking about having sex and the age most people lose their virginities. We talk about 16 as age of consent in UK before she tells me that lots of girls in her year at school (Y9) have already had sex, some even doing it in Y8. DD said most of the girls were pleased to have 'got it out the way'! DD said she was not ready and that was fine too (phew!)
I lost my virginity at 16 and thought that was quite average, I had no regrets. It got me thinking though, what age did you 'lose it' and did you regret it being at that age?

OP posts:
NameChangeADHD · 30/10/2021 18:45

And I was actively online dating, I might add!

EmmaGrundyForPM · 30/10/2021 18:47

@LetHimHaveIt

24. Too late, but I wouldn't have been anywhere near ready at 16, and don't honestly think anyone is.
Why do you think 24 is too late?
Bluecurtains19 · 30/10/2021 18:52

15… I don’t regret it as we are married with two children… but we do laugh at how ‘grown up’ we thought we were fumbling around. We’d been together about 6 months by that point. I didn’t see him as a long term thing and I just wanted to get it out of the way… but yeah ended up staying with him and marrying him, so it clearly wasn’t that bad!

ILoveToads · 30/10/2021 18:54

14, it was an absolute fuck up. I had never kissed anyone before. I went to a room with someone who said we could just kiss, I went along with it all because I didn't get what was happening.

Sound so naive but I didn't really get how sex worked until then.

Really wish I had been better educated.

Feduphairymclary · 30/10/2021 19:02

I was 17, and it was with a bouncer I was friends with who was also sleeping with at least two of my friends, as well as his wife. I'm embarrassed about the circumstances but it wasn't uncomfortable or disappointing per se, he was old enough to know what he was doing, was very caring towards me and was the only lover (besides DH) to go down on me. I only slept with 3 other men, one being DH, and all were a lot older than me so I never had the teenage boy experience. Which I am sort of glad about.

GremlinDolphin4 · 30/10/2021 19:03

18 on a holiday fling which had no life in it once the holiday was over!

I actually wish I had slept with my first boyfriend at 17 who I adored as I think it would have been lovely but my mum had successfully instilled the fear of god into me about what the consequences were of sleeping with people before you are married!

I am now divorced after a long marriage and the thought of dating feels like being a virgin all over again although not being so toned or enthusiastic!

Laughing at the poster with Sam Fox’s boobs round her head!!

DriftingBlue · 30/10/2021 19:05

18

furbabymama87 · 30/10/2021 19:05

I'm a bit unsure. I had a boyfriend at 15 and he was 14. We did everything there is to possibly do to each other before trying sex, but I don't think we were doing it properly. I was 17 when I went with a more experienced lad that I know I had full sex with.

SapphosRock · 30/10/2021 19:08
  1. If I'd waited until the right person came along I would have been 30.
justmetoday · 30/10/2021 19:09

I was 13, almost 14.
Yes its very early, but i dont regret it at all. I was so in love with that boy. He was a little older and it wasnt his first time, so he knew how it all worked and i really enjoyed my first time. I dont have a single friend who really enjoyed it. Either they did it with a boy who also hasnt done it yet and it was awkward. Or they waited until they were 16/17/18 and then just did it with whoever just to get it out of the way.

YukoandHiro · 30/10/2021 19:10

I was 17, no regrets. Yes lots of girls in my school were sexually active at 14. This was the mid 90s. But I didn't go to the best school...

Whatwentwronghere · 30/10/2021 19:14

18, no regrets. Infact I married him!

mawkthestork · 30/10/2021 19:16

Lost mine at 15 to my now husband, I don't regret it but I do wish I'd waited a bit longer. We were both very immature at that age and the relationship was very on/off.
I think there was a lot of peer pressure back then and it seemed like everyone was doing it when in reality a lot of it was just talk. My best friend told me she'd lost hers at 16 and I only recently found out she'd just told everyone that and was actually 22.

Christmas1988 · 30/10/2021 19:16

I was 14 been with my 17year old boyfriend about a year and was fine, we stayed together two more years after and had loads of underage, I’m glad I lost it when I did.

Sub1required · 30/10/2021 19:18

16, 1st time for both of us!

IWillWoooTheGhoulWillow · 30/10/2021 19:21
  1. At Uni. He was my boyfriend, but we weren't having sex until I woke up one morning to discover we were. There's a word for men like him now.

Stayed another 4 years, having very bad sex that did nothing for me, because he convinced me I'd.been ruined for other men who wouldn't want a non-virgin.

Got a job in London when I was 22 and discovered other men weren't bothered in the slightest.

Bastard.

IWillWoooTheGhoulWillow · 30/10/2021 19:21

Name change fail 🤦. Thanks MN.

SpeckyWithTheGoodHair · 30/10/2021 19:24

15 with zero regrets. He was absolutely the right person.

I wish I'd met him later, he was The One but I was too young and we outgrew each other.

JLM1008 · 30/10/2021 19:27

18 here with my now husband when I was university. I was pleased I waited until I was ready. We've been together 15 years now and have 3 children.

SerendipitySunshine · 30/10/2021 19:33

14 I think. Grew up in the countryside so I think we were all at it early. No regrets, he was lovely and the same age. We had a lot of fun but I didn't marry him!

1forAll74 · 30/10/2021 19:33

About 19 I think, in 1961. My late Mum, said she would throw me out in the street if I got pregnant, and would end up in a mother and baby home. This was a regular attitude from lots of mothers then.

It was quite hard to behave then though, as the swinging 60's had arrived,, with all the music, and styles of clothes, and dance places to go to. and some randy men about, all raring to go.. But not very many women would drink on nights out, and the men just had one or two beers. Dancing and smooching about was the name of the game then.

Mothers would have freaked out in those days, if very young girls were to have sex.

RagzReturnsRebooted · 30/10/2021 19:33

15, properly, with a boyfriend I stayed with for over a year. Had been doing other stuff and trying since 14 but it's actually trickier than it looks on TV, especially if you're standing up in a bus shelter Blush

DS was 14, with someone he'd been dating for a while and still is. They talked about it beforehand (with each other and parents) and planned to be safe which is better than my dodgy bus shelter fumbling would have been, so actually quite impressed with them. Teens seem to be better at talking about sex rather than just falling into it, than they were back in my day! They weren't quite the first in their friendship group but certainly early ones, though by the end of year 10 more than half of them had done it.

RagzReturnsRebooted · 30/10/2021 19:35

DH was 11 Shock they lived on the IOM and apparently there wasn't much else to do! Though apparently it wasn't much more than very quick penetration, but still technically sex.

Sagealicious · 30/10/2021 19:35

I was around 11/12 and he was about 15 and a family friend. It left me very confused for a long time because I didn't say yes but I didn't say no either and yes I'm well aware someone underage can't consent.

MadCattery · 30/10/2021 19:36

18, had been together for six months and he was wonderful. Broke up several years later, but 24 yrs after the break up, after my then DH and I split, we got back together. Married now and he is still wonderful but very embarrassed at how fast the first time went! Older now, it takes longer. And that’s a good thing!