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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Erm, did I approach this correctly?

204 replies

Champagneforeveryone · 27/02/2021 12:03

Because none of the parenting books mention how to deal with situations like this Confused

I came down to leave for work early this morning and found a small drawstring bag on the worktop. I looked in it and found a rather large, shiny item. Which was not what I expected over my cornflakes.

There's only me, DH and DS (nearly 17) in the house. It's not mine or DH's so I messaged DS and asked if he was missing anything. He's basically admitted it is his and the conversation was very light and non-committal, but I was somewhat at a loss for what to say. I have no desire to know the ins and outs (excuse the pun) of it but simply requested it didn't live on the worktop. He said he thought that was best and we agreed to forget the conversation had ever happened.

I imagine he's mortified (thank god for WhatsApp) but should I be doing or saying anything else?

FWIW, I hid the bag so DH didn't find it so it's only me and him who know. I'm not convinced this is a conversation DH and I really need to have if I'm honest Grin

OP posts:
2020hello · 27/02/2021 15:25

Where was he using it is the question?
Time for a full downstairs clean Grin

Mammyloveswine · 27/02/2021 15:25

I'll bet like a pp said it was laughing gas rather than a vibe

TheVolturi · 27/02/2021 15:26

What else could you have done?

YerWanIsGettinNotions · 27/02/2021 15:40

@justanotherneighinparadise

I didn’t think butt plugs were shiny either. Also why would he have it in his pocket in a drawstring bag? I’m going for a massive shiny rock of crack cocaine.

A lot of butt plugs are made from stainless steel, as it's non toxic and easy to clean. It doesn't retain odours and is not likely to break or take damage in such a way as to result in injury or infection.

My guess is that he was cleaning it in the kitchen sink, and he forgot to put it away after.
^
Shall I pass the mind bleach around now or later?^ 😂

DPotter · 27/02/2021 15:50

Twosocks - you've had me in fits of giggles

lbrc84 · 27/02/2021 15:53

Are you sure you even know what the item is OP? Maybe it looks like something but isn't?

haggisandmarsbar · 27/02/2021 15:55

If it was my 16 year old then I would be asking questions, it's not the kind of thing you'd expect them to have and it'd be at the back of mind that it'd been left there for a reason because if he didn't want or need you to know he'd have been extremely careful not to leave it lying around.

I think it was left there on purpose.

justanotherneighinparadise · 27/02/2021 15:56

Why not clean it in the bathroom sink? Honestly a butt plug in a drawstring bag just doesn’t make any sense. It must be something else.

doublehalo · 27/02/2021 15:56

Is it a glass pipe?

TenaciousP · 27/02/2021 16:04

I thought it was a cock ring.... 🤔

Brieminewine · 27/02/2021 16:05

If it is a sex toy what the hell is it doing on the kitchen worktop Confused

TheLittleRedToothbrush · 27/02/2021 16:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsBrunch · 27/02/2021 16:11

Is it some sort of drug paraphernalia which you've mistaken for a sex toy OP?

CovidCrow · 27/02/2021 16:19

@Stopcollaborateandlisten77

I don’t understand this 🙈

You and me both Blush

Sobeyondthehills · 27/02/2021 16:28

I am guessing its a fake vagina

Zippy1510 · 27/02/2021 16:28

OP are you sure it was a sex toy and not something like a nos canister? As if it was the latter you may want to have word before he thinks you are fine with his casual drug use.

MackemLass79 · 27/02/2021 16:36

@MrsBrunch this is what I thought I'm hoping op hasn't given bk some drugs/laughing gas etc to her child in a hurried embarrassed hush hush don't tell your dad let's pretend this didn't happen cos I think it's sex toy scenario

blowonitthen · 27/02/2021 16:38

@MrsBrunch

Is it some sort of drug paraphernalia which you've mistaken for a sex toy OP?
I also thought this might be likely. Why would he be carrying a sex toy around in a drawstring bag in his pocket and have it out in the kitchen? Confused
NoraEphronsNeck · 27/02/2021 16:41

I think we need to know what the item actually is too.

It sounds like OP and her DS have had an opaque conversation Via WhatsApp, both thinking that the other knows what it is but not necessarily thinking it's the same thing at all.

Sounds like a comedy of manners Smile

Tal45 · 27/02/2021 16:41

I wonder like others if the OP thought it was a sex toy but it was actually an nos cannister. I don't know why a sex toy would leave the bedroom except to be washed and go straight back.

OhCaptain · 27/02/2021 16:44

A shiny fake vagina though?

Why shiny?!

MrsBrunch · 27/02/2021 16:44

@NoraEphronsNeck

I think we need to know what the item actually is too.

It sounds like OP and her DS have had an opaque conversation Via WhatsApp, both thinking that the other knows what it is but not necessarily thinking it's the same thing at all.

Sounds like a comedy of manners Smile

He must be thinking, wow mum's cool with drugs Grin
DIshedUp · 27/02/2021 16:47

But why would a single nos cannister be in a drawstring bag? Maybe a cracker? That would look an awful lot like a bullet vibrator

You need to tell us what it is OP

DIshedUp · 27/02/2021 16:49

A fake vaginas not gonna fit in a pocket!

The drawstring bag is weird, it makes it more of a prize possession. More like drugs paraphernalia in a drawstring bag

MackemLass79 · 27/02/2021 16:51

Had that been one of my (now young adult DDS) I would have 1st made sure it wasn't actually anything to do with drugs and 2 if it was simy a sex toy I would have taken it and seem how long it would take/if either would have the nerve to ask me or am I just a mean mum?? Grin 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣

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