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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Erm, did I approach this correctly?

204 replies

Champagneforeveryone · 27/02/2021 12:03

Because none of the parenting books mention how to deal with situations like this Confused

I came down to leave for work early this morning and found a small drawstring bag on the worktop. I looked in it and found a rather large, shiny item. Which was not what I expected over my cornflakes.

There's only me, DH and DS (nearly 17) in the house. It's not mine or DH's so I messaged DS and asked if he was missing anything. He's basically admitted it is his and the conversation was very light and non-committal, but I was somewhat at a loss for what to say. I have no desire to know the ins and outs (excuse the pun) of it but simply requested it didn't live on the worktop. He said he thought that was best and we agreed to forget the conversation had ever happened.

I imagine he's mortified (thank god for WhatsApp) but should I be doing or saying anything else?

FWIW, I hid the bag so DH didn't find it so it's only me and him who know. I'm not convinced this is a conversation DH and I really need to have if I'm honest Grin

OP posts:
DIshedUp · 27/02/2021 16:52

The DS is probably sat in his room after his mum has found is weed grinder/nos cracker wondering why his mum is so chill about him taking drugs! Grin

NiceTwin · 27/02/2021 16:58

I immediately thought a big shiny rock of crack.

@Champagneforeveryone you need not be so coy and say what it is because absolutely all on this thread are just guessing.
I for one wouldn't be so calm if all the guesses on here are correct.
At only 16, I would asking a few more questions.

intheenddoesitreallymatter · 27/02/2021 16:58

Is it one of those torch things some blokes use for *ahem special time?

You handled it perfectly OP, whatever it was.

Roszie · 27/02/2021 17:00

If DS left a buttplug in a bag on my kitchen surface we would be having lots of discussions about why it was there.

NameChangedForThisFeb21 · 27/02/2021 17:01

I literally have not a single clue what the OP
found.

Weird thread.

Bumpsadaisie · 27/02/2021 17:07

Is it ... hmm ... a fleshlight?

Original poster
Champagneforeveryone · 27/02/2021 17:09

Sorry all, I did post an update but I was at work and it seems not to have posted.

I didn't mention initially as it seemed a bit hairy handed, but yes it was a butt plug. I'm certain, not least because it had a jewelled end (handle?)

He's a bit bashful and we haven't spoken of it, we still have that to look forward to Confused

OP posts:
LabbyNoona · 27/02/2021 17:13

But why would he have taken it down to the kitchen anyway?!

SplendidSuns1000 · 27/02/2021 17:16

Could he have been washing it in the kitchen/ boiling the kettle to clean it /getting anti bac to wash it? He's old enough to understand and use it, you don't need to discuss it further. He's definitely more embarassed than you and it sounds like it was a genuine mistake it was left there.

Monty27 · 27/02/2021 17:18

Can someone gently tell me what a butt plug is? 🤔

SirenSays · 27/02/2021 17:18

This thread is hilarious. I love how people don't get that size is relative. My keys, phone and purse are all relatively small and fit in my pockets. They'd seem pretty huge if I was trying to shove them where the sun doesn't shine.
Lots of people wear plugs when wandering around, I once found one in a nightclub loo so it's not a total shocker it made it out of his bedroom. Just tell him to be careful, those jewelled ones have been known to get lost inside.

feathermucker · 27/02/2021 17:24

I thought it was a condom tbh (shiny wrapper)

BertieBotts · 27/02/2021 17:25

God I would never mention it again :o

If it had a flared end and a jewelled handle, then it's probably a reputable one bought from a proper site, meaning it's safe to use. At least he's not using random household items, which would be a health and safety hazard in more ways than one.

Hopefully he will be more discreet in future.

Also people wondering about pocket size. Have you never worn men's jeans? Those pockets could fit a subway footlong in them!

XiCi · 27/02/2021 17:26

The clue is in the name Monty27
Baffled as to why he had it in the kitchen. But then you say he said he must have taken it out of his pocket and forgotten to put it back in. So he's going out and about and using it in the course of his days? I think I'd want to know a bit more tbh if it was my teen to make sure he was safe

Brunt0n · 27/02/2021 17:27

@Monty27

Can someone gently tell me what a butt plug is? 🤔
It’s a plug for your butt.

Like literally. You shove it up your ass for sexual pleasure. Like a dildo but for your bum. Smaller.

XiCi · 27/02/2021 17:31

I don't believe it was going anywhere, we are (obviously) in lockdown and DS hasn't left the house for weeks
Are you sure about that? Seems strange for him to have a butt plug in his pocket to just wander the house with

Sarcobaleno · 27/02/2021 17:34

Well you're all way more chilled than me. If my DS16 left a butt plug lying around in the kitchen I'd have some more questions. It's been a long time since I was 16 but that seems more advanced than I'd expect my 16 year old to be. I also think it's pretty weird to leave it lying around. It was either because he wanted you to find it, even subconsciously; or because it's so normal that it didn't even register, which in itself would worry me. He's only 16...

Snowpatrolling · 27/02/2021 17:37

I’d be more concerned a butt plug was left next to me cornflakes!!! 🤢

justanotherneighinparadise · 27/02/2021 17:39

I guess he’s using it while masturbating. Im not looking forward to this next stage in parenthood. Dried snot all down one side of DC’s bed is one thing. Dealing with dried semen and sex toys is something else altogether 😬

haggisandmarsbar · 27/02/2021 17:39

@Snowpatrolling

I’d be more concerned a butt plug was left next to me cornflakes!!! 🤢
It'd be awful if you hadn't got your glasses on and thought it was the spoon.
HalzTangz · 27/02/2021 17:42

@DrinkFeckArseGirls

Are but plugs shiny? I’m voting a vibrator.
They are if they are the metal ones with jewelled designs
haggisandmarsbar · 27/02/2021 17:47

@justanotherneighinparadise

I guess he’s using it while masturbating. Im not looking forward to this next stage in parenthood. Dried snot all down one side of DC’s bed is one thing. Dealing with dried semen and sex toys is something else altogether 😬
Ok. Enough! Envy I am never making the bed in my son's room again HmmGrin
Ilovemypantry · 27/02/2021 18:04

@Brunt0n

It’ll be a butt plug. And i’m not sure why on earth that would be in the kitchen 😳
I’m still none the wiser 🙄
Ilovemypantry · 27/02/2021 18:07

@SirenSays

This thread is hilarious. I love how people don't get that size is relative. My keys, phone and purse are all relatively small and fit in my pockets. They'd seem pretty huge if I was trying to shove them where the sun doesn't shine. Lots of people wear plugs when wandering around, I once found one in a nightclub loo so it's not a total shocker it made it out of his bedroom. Just tell him to be careful, those jewelled ones have been known to get lost inside.
“Lots of people wear plugs when wandering around”

Earplugs you mean?

Dontsayfuckorbugger · 27/02/2021 18:22

God no don't ever utter another word !! Why would you?? Just forget it and move on. I'm sure your DC is mortified enough without mentioning it ever again