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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

17 year old wants to go to Benidorm

199 replies

yellowbird123 · 07/01/2020 18:45

Help please my daughter who is not 18 till August wants to go to Benidorm in July with 3 friends who are already 18. We’ve said no and as you can imagine it’s not going down well ....I feel awful but I cannot overide my gut feelings that it’s not the place for a 17 year old and as a responsible parent she should not be going ...also legally don’t think we can allow it any thoughts comments would be welcome

OP posts:
sameasiteverwasantiques · 07/01/2020 20:11

Its 18 over here too but do you think that stops 17 year olds. She's a month away from being a legal adult or are you not going to let her do anything then either. You really need to undo the cotton wool. Your letting her miss out on something all her friends will be going on because she's a month away from 18, I'm baffled. She won't be the only non 18 year old drinking in Spain!

titchy · 07/01/2020 20:12

Yes but I don’t want her to be seen to be breaking the law as the drinking age in Spain is 18 ...

No! She won't be breaking the law. She has to be 18 to buy or be served alcohol, same as U.K. But if she does she isn't breaking the law - the licensee is.

Slat3 · 07/01/2020 20:14

I went on a girls holiday at 17, as long as one in the party was 18 it was fine.
We went to Portugal (not sure on the drinking age) had a fantastic time & yes drank lots!
Not sure I would want either of my DS to do it but I have a while to worry about that.
I would probably let her go, if she is usually sensible?

titchy · 07/01/2020 20:16

I would not want a drunk teenage girl going to Spain.

If they went a month after her birthday, which OP agrees to, she'd still be getting drunk....

Lots of safety talks, drip feed, stay in a group, don't leave drink unattended, buy a bottle of beer then put water in it later so it looks like you're still drinking etc.

BillieEilish · 07/01/2020 20:19

OP I'm sorry if I've come over all defensive about Spain, but honestly, I would rather my DD holidayed here then anywhere else. I am really telling the truth. (Obvs she won't she'll want to get away!')

But honestly, you are worried about her going away full stop I think. It is not Benidorm.

It is the healthiest country in the world ATM, the teenagers don't drink really (nothing like England, nothing!) It truly is safer than so many places in the UK. The police are not to be messed with AT ALL in Benidorm in the summer and are everywhere.

As Titchy says, she is not breaking the law, the licensee is.

She really will be fine. With wassap available now, why don't you get her to 'check in' every night at 10pm? That is the condition to her going?

basicbitch16 · 07/01/2020 20:20

My husband went on a stag there too, last summer. He's loves an abroad lads holiday but said that if he ever set foot there again it would be too soon. Filthy, dirty, disgusting place.

I would consider somewhere else though, if it were my pretty sensible eldest.

RamonaFlower · 07/01/2020 20:21

I went to Benidorm for two weeks when I was 17 (nearly twenty years ago now). I had the time of my flippin' life. I'd let her go.

BillieEilish · 07/01/2020 20:22

PS Lovely Radler is available here on tap, for 16 plus I think. 2% alcohol, basically a shandy.

RamonaFlower · 07/01/2020 20:22

Filthy, dirty, disgusting place.

In what way? It's no filthier, dirtier or disgusting than any UK town centre on a Saturday night.

How xenophobic.

BillieEilish · 07/01/2020 20:24

But people comparing stag dos is entirely different. I wouldn't expect DD to have the experience of a stag do whether in the Lake Distake or here?

Stag dos are sexist alcoholic rubbish, strip clubs etc galore. (Yes lots here too sadly) But OP's DD will not be at a bloody strip club drinking pints.

Original poster
yellowbird123 · 07/01/2020 20:25

So difficult got an older boy but didn’t show any interest in partying till 19 so naively thought would be the same

OP posts:
BillieEilish · 07/01/2020 20:26

Why did your DH go to such a dirty disgusting filthy place and what on earth did he see to warrant that ridiculous comment?

LemonPrism · 07/01/2020 20:27

Isn't the drinking age 16 there anyway? It's Benidorm not Ibiza.

BillieEilish · 07/01/2020 20:28

OP they'll want a suntan and to lie on the wonderful beach beneath a palm tree, go to a water park, eat the icecream and get tipsy on cheap cocktail and gossip at night Grin

shinynewapple2020 · 07/01/2020 20:29

Is your issue mainly about ID? I don't think she would need to be 18 to book the holiday, obviously any booking documentation will need to be in her true age as this will be checked against her passport. I'm sure they will manage to find somewhere to go out to where they don't need ID. DS has travelled to Spain age 17 with friends and has managed to have a good time without needing any 18 ID . I wouldn't think Benidorm any more or less safe than anywhere else teenagers would chose to holiday.

LemonPrism · 07/01/2020 20:29

It was just a tacky seaside Town when I last went, mostly over 40s 😂

BillieEilish · 07/01/2020 20:30

Lemon I think it's 18, but 2% is 16, but I'm not sure. My friends DS was with us last year (16) and they served him shandy but said not too many or we need ID. His mother was furious as she was there with him!!

You can't drive until 18 either.

LemonPrism · 07/01/2020 20:31

Huh, interesting - seems I unwittingly broke the law a lot when I was in Spain then 😂 my dad had a house out there when I was a teen and my family are not shy about booze

Original poster
yellowbird123 · 07/01/2020 20:31

Ooh not sure just googled Spain

OP posts:
BillieEilish · 07/01/2020 20:31

Lemon, it's now mostly over 80's Grin

DD and I were in hysterics counting the double mobility scooters, scooting by!

LemonPrism · 07/01/2020 20:32

Ah it was changed in 2009, I was OK then Grin

WineIsAFoodGroup · 07/01/2020 20:33

What are the friends like that she'd be going with? Does she already go 'out' in the UK? Is she pretty sensible?

My parents allowed me to do the same holiday (they signed paperwork) when I was 17. I actually found the whole trip fun but a bit grotty. We went clubbing and drank loads but we were a good group of friends so we always stuck together. If the friends are a decent bunch, that you know will look out for each other, I'd say let her go. The chances are she will have a good time but decide to steer away from such places on future ventures.

IHaveBrilloHair · 07/01/2020 20:33

My DD moved out before she turned 18!
They aren't little children, you have to let go.

stilldoesntknowwhatshappening · 07/01/2020 20:34

Romona stop being ridiculous. People can hate Spain as a holiday destination. It's personal preference.

Newmetoday · 07/01/2020 20:35

You’re being very over protective. She shouldn’t even need to ask at that age. Mumsnet are snobby about Benidorm so of course they’ll agree with you.