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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

17 year old wants to go to Benidorm

199 replies

yellowbird123 · 07/01/2020 18:45

Help please my daughter who is not 18 till August wants to go to Benidorm in July with 3 friends who are already 18. We’ve said no and as you can imagine it’s not going down well ....I feel awful but I cannot overide my gut feelings that it’s not the place for a 17 year old and as a responsible parent she should not be going ...also legally don’t think we can allow it any thoughts comments would be welcome

OP posts:

Postspecific · 07/01/2020 20:36

We went when we were 17. Some of it was amazing. Some dark shit also went down. Don’t let her go.

littlepaddypaws · 07/01/2020 20:36

dd 20 recently went to malta on her own for 10 days and had a fab time, had she been 17, i might have been abit more wary.

WatcherintheRye · 07/01/2020 20:37

Op, whenever it happens, it's going to be a worry. I know, I've been there twice, so far! I think you're looking for reasons to justify your knee-jerk reaction of saying no. I doubt anything will happen in Benidorm, that isn't just as, if not more likely to happen in fresher's week at whichever uni she goes to. The 'illegality' of her drinking is a complete red herring. She's not going to come back with a criminal record.

The rite of passage that is a post-A Level holiday with friends is something that she will always remember missing out on, I fear, if you don't give her your blessing (not forgetting the ubiquitous 'don't mix drink/balconies/swimming pool' talk ).

Original poster

yellowbird123 · 07/01/2020 20:37

Think I’m I’ll informed as we don’t travel abroad so not really used to holiday resorts

OP posts:

3of50BookChallenge2020done · 07/01/2020 20:40

I'm an August born (right at the end). I went on an 18-30s holiday with my friends in the June. I had to get a letter from my mum giving me permission.

She's almost an adult. Treat her like one.

Also, I've been to Benidorm twice. Once on a family holiday to the old part and once on a weekend jolly to the new part. It'll be right up their street. Strips of bars, and souvenir shops and a bloody huge, beautiful beach at the end.

Original poster

yellowbird123 · 07/01/2020 20:42

Can you expand on the dark shit

OP posts:

JorisBonson · 07/01/2020 20:42

If it's any help OP I've been going to Benidorm since my early twenties (mid 30s now). It's largely an older crowd, people do tend to look out for each other. If she sticks to the main strip she'll be fine.

InglouriousBasterd · 07/01/2020 20:43

Another one here whose friend was 17, rest of us 18, when we went to Gran Canaria. It didn’t even cross anyone’s mind tbh that she couldn’t go. Certainly never asked for ID. She was then and still is the most sensible of the lot of us if you think she’s mature enough, I wouldn’t worry.

Swinesinsleepingbags · 07/01/2020 20:43

I will have the same with a August born DD but I will let her go, my mum did the same with me. Crossing the road and driving is statistically much more dangerous.

Bananaman123 · 07/01/2020 20:44

I went to Kavos on 18to30 when i was 16 and friend 17, never asked for ID but as it was just 2 of,us we stuck together and didnt drink to the point we didnt know what we were doing. Id say Benidorm would be safer but i have never been myself.

travellover · 07/01/2020 20:45

Honestly if you would let her when she's 18 then I can't see the harm in letting her go a month early - it depends on your child and whether you feel like you can trust her to be sensible etc. Benidorm clubs won't ask for ID anyway, none of the party places do

3of50BookChallenge2020done · 07/01/2020 20:46

This. We had the most amazing time in Tenerife. We signed up to the whole package that was hard sold to us when we arrived at the Welcome Meeting. Most of it was built around drinking, but personal experience tells me that you either go in for that or you don't. We went whale watching on a catamaran. There was music and a party atmosphere, and lots of people were drinking. But lots weren't (including me, I discovered that catamarans make me seasick on that trip). There was also a bar crawl. Again, my friends and j didn't drink to excess, but it was fun to explore. There was also a Decades caberet night which I still have the photos from (my pink, sequin trimmed cowboy hat featured heavily).

Don't make her miss out. It's all her friends will talk about for months afterwards and it'll still get mentioned years later.

travellover · 07/01/2020 20:46

And honestly Benidorm is way better than other party places like Maga, Sunny beach etc!

BillieEilish · 07/01/2020 20:46

Honestly, my snooty Madrid born older Spanish DH was horrified I was taking DD to Benidorm! It was hilarious. It is the perception of slightly older people (me included before I went, I was going to meet a cousin who was on holiday there for 2 days)

It is, if anything, actually fairly posh! (Compared to equivalent in UK) Very clean.

Obviously, it has moved on massively since my DH was younger, just as, for example London has changed beyond all recognition compared to when I left 15 years ago.

Posters giving their memories of 15plus years ago, the same applies. Laws have changed, things have changed etc

3of50BookChallenge2020done · 07/01/2020 20:49

Can you expand on the dark shit

You are looking for further reasons to say no. Teenagers are just people. Some are twats. Some aren't. Some are sensible. Some aren't. Some look for trouble. Some don't. Only you know your daughter and your friends. Where does she fall?

theworldhasgonecrazy1 · 07/01/2020 20:50

I think it is quite unfair not to let her go. I admit I would not be comfortable about my DD going abroad at all at that age but in reality once she's 18 she will most likely be off at uni doing her own thing anyway. She's only a month away from 18 and it's not her fault she's the youngest of her friends.

Think how you would have felt at that age being excluded from something so major at the time. The age difference won't matter once she's there and she will not be arrested for underage drinking as they don't ask for ID.

YANBU to be concerned but to stop her going I feel YABU

jakinaboxx · 07/01/2020 20:53

My ds is an August birthday and went to Amsterdam with his mates who were all 18. They were strict on Id so he went in bars but couldn't drink alcohol.

BillieEilish · 07/01/2020 20:53

The problem is it used to 'costa del crime' didn't it? All the criminals from England escaped there and bought a villa.

Good luck if you try and do that now, there will be 12 guardia civil with machine guns and dogs outside before you can say 'Jack Robinson'

jakinaboxx · 07/01/2020 20:53

Forgot to say, he was still 17

WatcherintheRye · 07/01/2020 20:54

Can you expand on the dark shit

Would you say you're somewhat of a pessimist, op?

RamonaFlower · 07/01/2020 20:54

@stilldoesntknowwhatshappening
The poster said it was 'filthy, dirty and disgusting'. And I'm the one being ridiculous Ok.

If they weren't being xenophobic, they were being snobby at the very least. And she hadn't even been there, it was her husband.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 07/01/2020 20:55

Benidorm is 50% over 60s and 50% hen and stag. It's got a chemist on every corner for the condoms and the chlamydia meds.

I still wouldn't stop my 17yo (cusp of 18) dd going. Girls holidays are a riot and she will end up going on one at some point anyways.

BillieEilish · 07/01/2020 20:56

on a stag do no less

BillieEilish · 07/01/2020 20:57

Agreeing with Ramona there

jakinaboxx · 07/01/2020 20:57

Did you never go on a teenage holiday op ? She could be at uni a few weeks later, you need to give her some freedom at some point

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