Wave your snorkel in the air like you just don't care!

[serialtester]

Open.

Lost, say something wise!

2k is great going Zig I'm still at the fast walking stage so really trailing behind.

I'm thinking Glamorous Forest Gump training: Developing an addiction to endorphins/the getting high on life regime.

We should bring out an exercise DVD - 5g to 5k in a month.

Ha ha Serial
I'll be the "before" picture; looking drained in my kitchen with a fag hanging out my mouth.
You can be the "after" pic; all glowing with abs and a fag hanging out your mouth

Haha Serial!
I've heard Columbia has perfect training facilities this time of year

Columbia has the best light for losts photo shoot!

I'm planning to negotiate a sponsorship deal with the Columbian mafia.

They could put a free gift in every DVD.

5g to 5K: Get fit, get smug, quit drugs in our 10 week regime.
Free gift with every purchase. RRP- £500

Mafia small print: Undertake at your own risk. This regime is sponsored by a drug lord and middle aged non professionals. (No money back guarantee). We accept no responsibilty for anything. Nasal hair regrowth will not be accepted as valid grounds for complaint.

Have got pickles cold. Nasal hair does not protect against viruses! No running tomorrow - apart from my nose!! (but I'm used to that!)

Have taken every drug known to mankind (wine, fags, paracetamol and ibuprofen) and still feel SHIT!!!

Hi surfers, hoping for a few encouraging words tonight.

Crazy lady that got sacked has taken it upon themselves to google and linked in and email my husband to apparently tell him what he married.
According to the email I got her sacked had it in for her and had no right to make a stay and she hopes he knows the kind of woman I am.

Oh! And I have been having affairs with the management team. All 5 of them.

Fuck me I am shaking.
DH is furious and demanding charges, restraining orders and Judge fucking Rinder.
I just want an escape. Why won't she leave me alone?

Make a statement

Baron Drug Lord of Columbia has approved the DVD merchandise tie-in and agreed to subsidise the travel and er, subsidence costs of personnel involved in the promotional tour of Columbia. He also has contacts in Peru and Bolivia if needed.
Passports ready?

That's awful Pickle You need Rinder all over this.
Keep your head held high, you've done nothing wrong (and you're really good at making things with eggs). I'm useless with advice but I can hand hold. Keep strong

Get well soon, Serial You've taken every drug known to mankind? No wonder you feel shit.
Dr. Lost is prescribing Lemsip , tissues and bed. x

Dusty, I'm up for all that shit. A promotional tour of Columbia sounds perfect for us entrepreneurs . You can be creative marketer.

Thanks, I'm just thinking of all the shitty things I did while up to my neck in Charlie that's not one of those things!!
I don't understand why it's me, I mean, all I did was answered questions.
What a crazy bitch. I'm shaking.

Don't take it personally, she seems to just want to spew bile at you and it's all bullshit. You're having an affair with 5 managers? It's laughable.
Glad Mr. Pickle is supporting you.
A calming and bath for you x

Actually, Mr. Pickle sounds like one of the Mr. Men. I'm imagining him as a cross between Mr. Mischief and Mr. Tickle.

Oh pickle that is awful. Is it because your eggs won? No seriously, she must be quite desperate to resort to social media. Just block her and don't wonder what she's up to.

So sorry to hear that Pickle - How was your day today? What an absolute witch she is!!! Mr Pickle sounds like he's being a rock, it's good you've got lovely support at home.
I hope today has been better? x

Today has been better, Mr P has had to go to the police station because it has now spilled into harassment. She has sent my husband email after email saying I am a 'cock sucking slag', a 'dirty cock loving whore' and have victimised her.

This is absolutely ridiculous. There are no words.

I cannot tell you how much I miss Charlie today however my mental health is probably too fragile and I know it wouldn't help me.

I'm exhausted. Started with the self doubt and self esteem is low so apologies if I am a bit quiet next few days.

I won't fall off the surfboard but it's hard.

Hello fellow surfers! I refrained from posting over the weekend as, true to form, I went overboard again and didn't think it would be helpful to you all. I am sitting I my garden with a lovely glass of wine and fags and the urge is so strong but I shall resist!
Pickle,that sounds horrendous, I hope it all gets sorted quick smart and well done on your egg victory

Don't start doubting yourself, Pickle keep strong. She's clearly a bully and hopefully a warning from the police will be enough for her to stop.
What a silly woman, she's obsessed with cock . Poor you x

Sunday Sun, wine and fags = my idea of bliss, enjoy
I'm resisting the urge here too. It's very turbulent seas here.

Serial hope your bastard cold is a bit better more Lemsip.

5g to 5K update: Did my lunchtime power walk (in trainers and vest). May start breaking into a slow jog soon.
No endorphin rush yet.

*in trainers, vest and leggings, I mean. I had trousers on!

Bloody comedowns...

I mean it now, none in and never again