HORNED HOOFERS 2010

[SuSylvester]

ok as the summer seaons approaces, look at your wizened hobbit like hooves.

are they silky smooth with no cracked heels or discoloured toe nails? have you lumps and bumps on your to joints?
ITs time to sort it out you scummy lot.

Has anyone tried this?

Half price at Asos - might give it a try.

I like the look of the London Butter Yummy Mummy shade - kind of nude.

Someone (I think Dr Google) told me this cracked skin on feet thing is a shoe allergy.
Unfortunate.

dh has perfick feet too, grrr
have blogged fake tan secrets btw

my dh has lovely feet. (teeny tiny, but lovely) We are like Jack Sprat and his wife of the foot world

i went to pick up dhs shoes from repair todya

they are a 12
young man " here are two VERy big pairs of shoes"

then i said "yes he had size 12 when he was 12"
yoof " i bet you thought he was walking onw ater then"
me ( annoyed) " well i am his wife so i dont know"
god i cant be so old that i look like I have a kid who is MORE than 12.....

my fake tan secret is exfoliate with oil and a mitt (like a shredded wheat) before hand. By jingo it makes it go on even

(I never usually bother, rush it, and cock it up)

no i think rushing is good

I've lost link to blog

lol at shredded wheat comparison

rushing without prep BAAAAAD

no sant t say DONT rub in

rub schmub

Have bought fake tan, now need to work up courage (and find some gloves) to annoint the stuff.
Hate the smell

Have bought fake tan, now need to work up courage (and find some gloves) to annoint the stuff.
Hate the smell

Bloody mobile

Ok have done toenails clipped straight and filed and am going to cover in neals yard cream plus socks then bed,No cling film here we don't have it don't suppose tin foil is the same!

Has anyone's DH commented on new footwear for sleep or are they used to such shennanigans?

I'm going to MAKE AN EFFORT on the alluringness front and only wear trainer socks, not big socks - lucky man.

you dont need a spray or a sunbed. here are my fool tips to a non orange tan, with no nasty finger lines where, frankly you got bored.

right you need

1. fake tan - i like the bog standard saint trop. or if you are the nicola roberts "caspar the friendly ghost" look then do the tined body moistursier ones - DOve for eg
2. you need moisturiser - do your knees and ankle bones.
3. old pyjamas

4, a mirror

TIME is of the essence, no dicking about. get going and smear the stuff all over in FRONT of a mirror. I know this wont be your best angle but you need to see where you are going wrong. get spreading it all over in a haphazard fashion . dO NOT rub in excessively.
start also at the back of your legs so you arent Ying and Yang - one side brown and the other neon.
go and watch tv in old pjs. do not sit on a white sofa.

shower.
sleep
admire new tan.
tell people you have just been in the sun.

this is what I use for zero tide marks/orange bits/patches

su are mere mortals (or even frogs) allowed to read yr blog? cat?

My feet don't look lovely right now, but will be grating and moisturising later today.

Have a baby so usually have DIY pedi. My tips - use base coat, 2 layers of colour and a top gloss. You don't need to wait for each coat to dry before applying the next AS LONG as you keep your feet uncovered for the next few hours (ie do then wear flip flops).

Also, you can splash the colour around your toes willy nilly, then when paint has dried, peel off in the shower. Easiest w a shower oil. By splashing the colour about you make sure you get total toenail coverage. DH thinks it looks like carnage, but works well once peeled off. Although you are all prob v good colouring in inside the lines...

moondog how about chanel?

i keep my feet done all year round, saves them from becoming too daunting. currently have v dark purple.

i don't use fake tan, get brown legs from running.

Another who'd like a link to your blog please Su. I used to have it, but no more.

I have tried every version of fake tan and I'll always prepare the drier areas with moisturiser but I still end up streaky and with the tell tale darker colour on the heel/back of the ankle.

If you keep your nail varnish in the fridge it will dry quicker when you apply it to your nails - fact.