Will my DD aged 18 be mocked for this?

[hippospot]

Or sniggered at, ridiculed or ostracised?

Having unshaved underarms at uni.

She has her own style, quite quirky / dark academia, it really suits her. She's bookish and amazing. Tall and striking. I'm so proud of her.

But when she tried on her prom dress I admit the bushy underarm hair shocks 50-something me. At her age I wouldn't have had the confidence or daring to stand out at all.

I offered to get her a razor in the past and she seemed affronted and insisted she likes her body hair. Her body, her choice. I didn't ever mention it again.

The thing is she's at a selective girls school where there's a fantastic ethos of acceptance, lots of clever girls like her and a lot of neurodiversity. I'm worried her uni experience won't be as accepting. She's going to a traditional Russell group uni this year with a lot of public school types.

I'm conflicted about saying something to her again.

WWYD?

What on earth are you talking about? Vulva is a term which covers bits of your anatomy which are not waxed. Your last sentence - where did I say that ? 😂 you don't get your urethral opening waxed 🤷‍♀️

If there was anything to hear she’ll have heard it already! Another for go her!!

Self-conscious of pubic hair during sex???? Why would that be?

it' s more common these days. I'm 50 something and don't shave on the regular but if i was wearing a pretty strapless prom dress I would. It just doesn't look good with hairy pits imho. Ditto with legs.

if they were wearing a prom dress, then yes it would be 'ugly' on a man too. Look, I don't shave regularly either - and it is her choice, but people can have the opinion that it looks bad with a prom dress. Settle down.

Yes! I went to a Russell group uni, and a top 20 uni, I didn’t even know it at the time and it is because we have a big linked hospital and other specialist research units. It makes zero difference to the student experience or post university employment etc, I also did postgraduate research and it never came up. I went before fees are at the level they are now so maybe it makes a difference in that sense.

Mines 22 and didnt do underarms. Still doesnt do legs, and it's the fashion.

Mine went to a girls school and top uni.

Not sonething to worry about.

It isn't the fashion.

LOLS at referencing girls school and top uni.

What a strange thread.

It appears to be the fashion with Gen Z. Like oversized clothes and flat shoes. They give me hope.

Er, yes you do (if you do). "Vulva" is a collective term for the entirety of the female external genitalia, which includes the mons pubis, which is covered by an inverted triangle of pubic hair, and the labia majora, which also grow hair.

One doesn't need to be referring to every constituent part of the "vulva" to accurately use the term, just as an English person doesn't need to also be Welsh, Scottish and Northern Irish to describe themselves as "British".

It's amazing how some people can be so confidently wrong (about their own anatomy)!

I wish for my daughters to have this level of self assurance, your daughter sounds very cool

Like yourself then 🤷‍♀️

Well personally I think it's weird that people need to publicize the fact that they don't shave their armpits to a bunch of random strangers and think that they are somehow sticking a middle finger up to the beauty standards that say we should be shaven! The majority of people simply couldn't care less, and don't need to know. Posters who proudly proclaim how cool they are because they don't shave are slapping down those who do btw.

Well if your partner is going down on you, the idea of them getting a mouthful of hair rather than nice smooth labia makes me feel a bit self-conscious!!

It’s never deterred mine. He likes a bush and doesn’t think smooth labia are remotely nice.

My DD 18 doesnt shave under her arms.
If im totally honest it did take me a while to accept it and was also worried about people reacting badly but that was due to me being brainwashed by society norms and growing up in the 80s.
DDs underarm hair is quite long and can be visible even with her arms down when shes wearing strappy tops (i wish she'd trim it! god Im brainwashed!!) .
She also sometimes dyes it blue!
I think it is defintely becoming more acceptable (good!) And is more common in this age group.
Anyway some people will sneer others will admire and think shes cool, she will find her own group.
Dont stress over it.
Id rather she was this way than plumping her lips with lip filler and unable to leave the house without full make up , false eye lashes, heavy brows and contoured within an inch of her life.

Hair is ugly? God, that's sad.

I mean if he’s a decent bloke and knows you like to keep a full bush he’d never tell you otherwise so you never really know if he’d prefer a smooth labia or not 🤷‍♀️

I grew in a different era where this just wasn't a thing, I suppose.

That would be the era where porn wasn't available at the clock of a button.

I didn’t say I liked it. In fact I had a Hollywood when we got together. He asked me to grow it.

Well, most models would be as nature intended. But pornogaphy at the time had a certain mystique to it because it just wasn't that available. Apart from magazines, which you needed to pluck up the courage to walk into a newsagent and buy one; there was early video and even to this day, I don't know where people would buy 'blue movies' from. We didn't have a video recorder anyway!

Some areas of work especially if client facing there is a certain dress code that the clients expect, turning up in jeans and a t shirt and whether you are in the role of manager or a minimum wage job you will be sent home.

Outside of office based work there are jobs and careers where if you don’t dress a certain way you won’t be working for the company.
All those saying that this does not exist in 2026 need to open their eyes. Or get out more. Loads of companies dictate to their employees what is to be worn when working for them

How you work and how you interpret their clothing list will dictate what role you will be put in.

Can I just say I would feel exactly the same as you and genuinely fear the humiliation I would have felt in 1995. But I am assured via my older cousin that it’s now super cool to own your body and make the choices that work for you …… your love is amazing but I understand she will be fine with this personal choice

My daughter exactly the same, she is 20 and shaves nothing and does not phase her or her friends.