Will my DD aged 18 be mocked for this?

[hippospot]

Or sniggered at, ridiculed or ostracised?

Having unshaved underarms at uni.

She has her own style, quite quirky / dark academia, it really suits her. She's bookish and amazing. Tall and striking. I'm so proud of her.

But when she tried on her prom dress I admit the bushy underarm hair shocks 50-something me. At her age I wouldn't have had the confidence or daring to stand out at all.

I offered to get her a razor in the past and she seemed affronted and insisted she likes her body hair. Her body, her choice. I didn't ever mention it again.

The thing is she's at a selective girls school where there's a fantastic ethos of acceptance, lots of clever girls like her and a lot of neurodiversity. I'm worried her uni experience won't be as accepting. She's going to a traditional Russell group uni this year with a lot of public school types.

I'm conflicted about saying something to her again.

WWYD?

Vile

Its worse than not wearing.nail varnish. But ugly hairy sweaty armpits . It's a no from me.

Both.

50+ who went to Russell group uni & private school circa (eek) 90s. There were lots of us then who didn't and no one batted an eye at it. Kudos to her, I only do it now because of the dreadful menopause sweat and smelly paranoid mindfulness!

I should imagine most university students are intelligent enough not to bully others for their choices.

Its extremely unlikely your daughter will be picked out for having hairy arm pits. Most kids at uni can barely dress and feed themselves or turn up for lectures. Hairy arm pit will not turn any heads.
Stop worrying x

Have you heard of Sofia Isella? Hair all over the place and shes brilliant. Check her out on instagram. Your daughter will be fine xx

Isn’t it a form of rebellion now?

The boys expect them to be like porn stars which means no body hair anywhere.

The thing is for the girls, en masse, not to capitulate to them.

I’m amazed so many people seem to know what their child’s friends do in regards to body hair??

If she stinks as it’s often hairy armpitted people who stink, I’m sure someone will tell them.

I literally have the exact opposite challenge. Daughter shaves under arms huge debate about shaving her legs and had to tell her a firm no about shaving her pubic hair with a detailed information lecture about pornography the infantilisation of women for male pleasure and the links with shaving public hair. She INSISTS EVERYONE does it she be odd one out laughed at etc, I said your 15 not having a relationship and therefore who sees in your underwear? I actually had to forbid it which is not something I have ever really done before but I feel sooooo strongly about this and want her to have a better informed more mature take on why women feel the pressure to shave their entire pubic area. We are not talking bikini line only, we are UK winter no bikinis being worn and like me she is thin blonde & not particularly hairy so its not like she’s coping with an explosion of hair people might see in a bathing suit then I would understand. It can only be social pressure because there’s no good reason for it but apparently ALL the girls do it nowadays. Clearly absolutely not true as I said in reading comments here about young women determined not to be pressured into shaving anything.

She's not at the Maynard School in Exeter, is she? Our daughter went there and it was absolutely fantastic - exactly as you describe.

I did this in the 90s when I went to uni. Literally nobody cared. You know who did mention it? My mom. Literally thr ONLY person who cared.

Unfortunately I think she will, mainly by the male population and possibly some mean girls.

I couldn't imagine my mother caring about what I did with my body hair.

I am yet to come across any women who don’t shave. I don’t think it’s the norm but equally if she’s happy so be it.

I’m shocked you forbade her to do something with her own body. I hope she ignored you. If it’s ok not to shave it’s just as ok to shave. It’s called body autonomy. I’ve always shaved my pubic area completely, not for sex reasons but because it gets sweaty and smelly and I find it uncomfortable. Perfectly reasonable

Is she German??

Is she German?

Is she German?

She’s only just turned 15 she is making a knee jerk decision based on what she thinks is normal by listening to teenagers at school not exactly a discerning and well thought out crowd as I would know having taught them for 25 years! Bodily autonomy is tempered by maturity and brain development which is why under 18’s cannot get tartoos! Would you little miss “shocked” let your daughter to ANYTHING to her body she wajts regardless or implications? Teens also have to have permission under 16 for piercings. Things that profoundly affect their body requires adult supervision and permission. As I said before my daughter and I are NOT very hairy it sweaty and don’t therefore need to shave, this is a misogynistic drive that has its roots in pornography and as an ex feminist academic teaching feminist theory this is my area of expertise & so I am protecting my daughter until she is mature enough to understand it more. Maybe try understanding what people have actually said than having knee jerk reactions. Most women
especially mature women who haven’t grown up in the glare of online life and porn culture’s importance & expectations on youth relationships do not shave their whole pubic area.

Nope! Lots of young women have body hair at the moment. Good for them!

She’s 15. She still needs support and guidance with her own body autonomy from her mother at this age. Would you have the same reaction if her mum forbade her to get her neck covered in tattoos? The dd hasn’t said she wants to do it for hygiene/comfort reasons, she said it’s because all the other girls are doing it (because they’ve been influenced but unrealistic standards in porn). Good on her for banning it for this reason. The dd would get a pretty harsh reality check if she was to do it anyway - most normal shaved vags look like lumpy plucked chickens with horrible red bumps everywhere, and nothing like they do in porn!!

My 20 year old epilates her legs a few times a year, shaves her armpits now and then, my 23 year old shaves her pits and legs at every shower. I’m late 50s and rarely remove any of my body hair anymore. No one has ever commented, sniggered or ostracised any of us.

Aside from the social pressure she’s currently feeling, it’s more important that she understands that pubic hair serves a purpose, contrary to what people like @christmassytimeagain think it’s not unhygienic to have pubic hair, and it’s not smelly. The hair acts as a barrier to bacteria and wicks sweat away meaning less germs and smells. Same for underarm hair. My pits stay drier and smell less when I have at least half a cm of hair.

Shaving pubic hair carries risks though, infections in tiny cuts from the razor, in-growing hairs which can turn into abscesses, skin irritation from regrowth and so on.

https://www.healthline.com/health/should-i-shave-my-pubic-hair#purpose