Will my DD aged 18 be mocked for this?

[hippospot]

Or sniggered at, ridiculed or ostracised?

Having unshaved underarms at uni.

She has her own style, quite quirky / dark academia, it really suits her. She's bookish and amazing. Tall and striking. I'm so proud of her.

But when she tried on her prom dress I admit the bushy underarm hair shocks 50-something me. At her age I wouldn't have had the confidence or daring to stand out at all.

I offered to get her a razor in the past and she seemed affronted and insisted she likes her body hair. Her body, her choice. I didn't ever mention it again.

The thing is she's at a selective girls school where there's a fantastic ethos of acceptance, lots of clever girls like her and a lot of neurodiversity. I'm worried her uni experience won't be as accepting. She's going to a traditional Russell group uni this year with a lot of public school types.

I'm conflicted about saying something to her again.

WWYD?

I'm all for being natural, but a prom dress was mentioned in the first posting, and I just think that if the dress is sleeveless, it's going to look very odd if armpit hair is visible. But of course, we think things are odd just because we haven't seen them before.

I think it’s great - women in their 40’s were conditioned to shave - body hair was completely unacceptable. Whilst I still prefer to shave what’s there (menopause seems to have reduced the burden 😂) each to their own. Seems the same with period products - we had the hard sell and on tampons yet the younger generation shun them for more planet friendly , comfortable products.

I dont think it is cool or amazing or particularly individualistic . Just sounds like a passing fashion fad to me.

You know sheep following sheep.

What's the passing fad, shaving or not shaving?

Body hair being masculine was a myth invented by Gillette to sell more razors

Your daughter will be fine!

No need to be snappy? You literally said "I prefer not to stink", as if my DD does!

I don’t think they’ll care tbh. Girls seem to not be shaving their armpits.

My 16 year old son, and a fair few of his male friends, shaves his armpits though. Says it’s horrible 😂😂

So younger women aren’t shaving their armpits….. but a lot of them are waxing their pubes. Or do the ones who don’t shave their armpits also not wax?

Full disclosure: I’m in my 60´s. I shave my armpits because I don’t like the feel of hair there, I shave my legs in summer only, and no-one is ever getting near my nethers with hot wax.

She sounds amazing and she will definitely have a great time at uni. People don't care about that sort of thing anymore

For those bemoaning a smelly pit because there's hair there, you'll be needing the AKT deodorant balm. Bloody amazing stuff. I only shave my pits if I'm going on holiday so they've been luxuriating in hair since last July and they never smell unless I forget to put this stuff on. It's a cream you rub in so maybe the fact it is getting to the root of the hairs makes it work better.

My son and daughter are at a Russell Group uni up north and both my daughter and her girlfriend do not shave anything. (They use Mitchum and do not smell. They do think me rubbing a balm into my pits is eww though!) My son's girlfriend does shave but she is more girly - my daughter also dresses a bit dark academia-like.

However, daughter was at Exeter first and she was very definitely an outlier... it was all about being plucked and buffed and tanned and tiny expensive sportswear all day long when she was there.

Well I for one would rather stay on a low wage forever than wear "good label suits, white and pastel coloured blouses, shoes and discreet accessories" if I didn't have to do so. Sounds boring as hell, and not for me at all, nor would I wish to work for a business which promoted people based on their clothing rather than their skills and work ethic.

I am retired now but how I would have loved to have been working in the era when you could wear whatever you wanted to work, and in fact I always used to say my ideal workplace would be one where I could wear jeans. Incidentally my exDH wears jeans to work and is very well paid.

Really -,what about the ancient civilisations who did this ?

This is not the case in creative industries. If someone wore that get up where I work they'd look really out of place. In fact they would stick out a mile and not in a good way. It certainly wouldn't mean they'd get promoted over someone more casual. Thank fuck we prioritise ability and talent over clothing.

I can confirm it is very painful 😂

I love the look and feel of smooth skin, it’s every bit as nice as having smooth facial skin.

I don’t bother shaving anything in the winter because I’m covered up (and single lol) but in the warm weather it’s all smooth and hair free (for my benefit, not men’s). I would definitely laser my armpits and legs if I were younger, now that I’m older hair growth seems to have slowed down anyway.

I knew I’d eventually fit in somewhere..shame I’m too old for uni 🤣

I don’t think we had the option to shun products as they were the only ones available.

And what? People are putting forth their opinions on unshaved armpits.

Except you are prioritising the way someone dresses by your comment that not conforming to what you think is acceptable for "the creative industries" would stick out a mile, in a bad way.

What a sad lack of imagination and tolerance you've just displayed.

Have a biscuit

So snippy babe. Clearly I don't have a lack of imagination, as I wouldn't be in the business I'm in.

And why have you got creative industries in quote marks? Are you one of those people who thinks creative work is not serious/contributes enough to the economy and we should retrain in tech or finance like some wankers in the last government did? (Brings in billions to the economy and is a huge part of our cultural identity btw)

I clearly said we prioritise talent and ability. She'd still get promoted whatever she wore.

She would stick out BECAUSE NOBODY WEARS CLOTHES LIKE THAT WHERE I WORK. I wouldn't' judge her and she'd be treated the same as everyone else. But she'd very much feel out of place.

I’m 60 and I haven’t shaved my underarms for 10 years. People neither notice nor care.

Your daughter will be fine!

https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=what+is+dark+academia

She'll go to Uni and find someone who loves underarm hair... Or decide she wants to shave them. I don't think it's the big deal it was in the 1980s and 90s.

But you were judging her by your "stick out a mile in a bad way" comment.

I put creative industries in quotation marks because of your narrow - minded, judgemental attitude-too narrow minded to cope with someone not dressing like the herd. You're not showing a creative, open minded attitude.

And as for calling me "babe" - yuk.

About bloody time it's normalised for women to have body hair, I'm 37 and don't shave. 😁 I gave up shaving my legs in 2014 and my pits in 2020, can't remember the last time I did anything to my pubes apart from trim them when they get straggly.