Will my DD aged 18 be mocked for this?

[hippospot]

Or sniggered at, ridiculed or ostracised?

Having unshaved underarms at uni.

She has her own style, quite quirky / dark academia, it really suits her. She's bookish and amazing. Tall and striking. I'm so proud of her.

But when she tried on her prom dress I admit the bushy underarm hair shocks 50-something me. At her age I wouldn't have had the confidence or daring to stand out at all.

I offered to get her a razor in the past and she seemed affronted and insisted she likes her body hair. Her body, her choice. I didn't ever mention it again.

The thing is she's at a selective girls school where there's a fantastic ethos of acceptance, lots of clever girls like her and a lot of neurodiversity. I'm worried her uni experience won't be as accepting. She's going to a traditional Russell group uni this year with a lot of public school types.

I'm conflicted about saying something to her again.

WWYD?

Much more common than it used to be and I see a lot of armpit hair on social media, even seen some on red carpets. Hair removal ads these days are very much about removing it if you want to, not the assumption that you must be completely bald below the eyebrows anymore. I don’t do my armpits much anymore and no one bats an eyelid at the gym or pilates. It is our “natural state” after all and if someone offered me a razor I’d think maybe they weren’t very modern

Thank you! Thank you! That's all so reassuring!
I'll keep my dinosaur mouth shut, gladly!
I agree it's fantastic the young ones are fighting the patriarchy!

Nope. The younger gen are different. Not so hung up on these things the same way as us

What is dark academia? I've been an academic for a very long time and somehow have never entered this mysterious territory!

Unis students are so varied but weirdly all seem to wear massive puffer jackets all year round. So no one will ever seen them

All my dark academia type kids have hairy ankles poking out of their patterned DMs or loafers.

I’m in my twenties and have always shaved. I’ll admit most of my exs have all preferred shaven.

I’ve been quite lazy shaving my underarms recently and noticed one side smelt bad despite showering twice a day and using deodorant. I epilated them a few days ago and the smell completely disappeared.

She knows it's not following the norm, isn't judged at her her school and most likely won't be be at university.

I'm sure she's encountered remarks outside of her comfort zone places and clearly isn't bothered so her continue to choose what's right for her.

As an intelligent young woman, good for her, her choice, her experience, her battle to conquer if needed. Xx

Armpit hair is very cool nowadays

My DD is gay, so couldn't care less about what the patriarchy thinks 😁

DD 20 has unshaven legs and pits (she's pale with dark hair).

The only time she's ever shaved her armpits is for ballet exams to accentuate the line of the arms (she acquiesced to this once she'd learned that the boys did this too).

I went to a normal university (originally a teacher training college before it gained university status), never shaved anything, none of my peers cared (or if they did, they didn't mention it). I don't know what posh universities are like, but I personally wouldn't have wanted to be friends with the sort of adult that would ostracise me for not shaving my armpits.

Would you balk if a teenager thought your public hair was disgusting and handed you a razor to shave off your bikini line?

I'm also about 50 and remember being young once and not shaving just due to being a bit haphazard at life, sometimes I did, sometimes I forgot, and I am VERY hairy. Anyway, photos of a slightly drunken evening were taken and shown at my workplace (not to embarrass me though). I guess I felt a bit embarrassed for a second in an 'I should have remembered to shave' kind of way but it really didn't scar me. No reason why women should shave and I'm not sure it really became a must until the late 90s-00s. I don't think riot grrls were that bothered about shaving in the early 90s. Totally personal choice I reckon.

It's very trendy these days. Probably half the cohort will have hairy armpits! And even if they don't no one will care and she will certainly find her people.

It really wouldn't be mocked at my university. The undergrad feminist group often has a campaign about oppressive beauty practices & so on. If she's fine about it, just don't say anything. She'll find her style & her tribe.

It wasn't the patriarchy that had me shaving my pits but the fact that they got sweaty and smelly! Always felt happy in my own skin.
Post menopause the hair and sweatiness has disappeared.

Personally I'm indoctrinated to not want to show off hairy armpits. So I shave during the summer months. During the winter I let it grow. DH doesn't like it but that makes me even more determined to keep it. Unless... he shaves as well (which he does in the summer)...

Well done her! Be proud that she loves her body in all its glory.

There will always be something others can point at or ‘other’ people on. So what.

Just be behind her proud you’ve raised such a woman.

Thank you OP, this thread makes a 70 year old 2nd wave feminist really happy!

Im delighted by the you do you attitude, reminder of when I was young.

I think you're just projecting your own beauty ideals onto her and her generation.

It's not taboo like it used to be in the 90s or 00s to leave bodily hair natural.

If anyone thinks it's OK to try and say something negative about it, as an adult she will need to be able to remain unbothered or simply tell them to piss off and that her body isn't their business.

Definitely don't say anything to try and encourage her to remove or change any part of herself. She's perfect as she is.

Post menopause the hair and sweatiness has disappeared.

Me too. Apart from rubbish sleep, I love being post-menopausal.

She’s 18. She’s extremely aware. Please do not get involved.

My DD doesn’t shave. She wore a stunning backless dress to a ball last year at uni. Don’t think anyone noticed her underarms. She’s at Durham.

She would have been totally derided for this in the 2010's when I went to uni, but times have totally changed and she will be fine. Loads of gen Z are forgoing it completely.