Anal bleaching

[poobag]

Right, I'm looking for a product to lighten up the skin around my anus and vulva. Approaching 40 and had 3 kids - I couldn't look less like a porn star down there if I tried. But try I will.
Any recommendations?

Sorry, BRUNO.

I love this thread, it has cheered up my anxiety filled night I have no advice OP but I hope you find something that works! I have to admit it's not something I thought people actually did but now I know it's a thing I may seriously look into how it's done let us know the result x

Has someone complained about the shade of your bumhole?
LTB

but seriously bleaching your vulva? For real?

I'm a BDSM fan.

Not sure anyone cares what colour your ringpiece is under those circumstances

I'm pretty sure if you're into BDSM there's better places than Mumsnet to ask this question.

I don't want to have sex with the lights off and my cardigan on like lots of you.

this is hilarious, op!

Though it has made me wonder (as have the replies you've had) if maybe mumsnet is the wrong place to ask?!

As an aside, I'm afraid I can't help with your original question....

Let us know how it goes when your pooschwitzel gets whitened.

I love having sex with my cardigan on ..I don't even bother taking my slippers off either

I had a first look around 'there' a few months ago and was HORRIFIED. Immediately got my epilator out and thus ensued the worst half an hour of my life. Curse that Italian blood.

Ps bleaching your vulva just sounds painful.

Oh dear lord, just realised this is Style and Beauty, not AIBU (my normal hunting ground).

This makes it even more amusing!

Just learn to love your off-colour sphincter OP or go for the scat fans

And for the record, my private area is on display. I'm a BDSM fan. I don't want to have sex with the lights off and my cardigan on like lots of you.

Erm, yes, mumsnet would be my first port of call, too, if I'd ever found myself in that sort of pickle.

Pretty sure a bleached asshole isn't a prequisite to BDSM, or maybe I read the kinkster manual wrong.

Cillit Bang should do the trick, surely.

Spas sell it, but it doesn't last and you'll have to keep at it. Just so you know it's not like tattooed eyeliner or whitening your teeth...

Could you not cut a hole in a paper doily and apply as and when? Would look decorative and seems less drastic.

my private area is on display

Oh the irony.

Tippex?

Op, all power to your elbow arsehole
Just dont over bleach though, remember Ross from friends when he had his teeth done?

Before and after pics of the balloon knot please...

Who can be '"arsed?" soz

Athenas Owl- I howled at your reply

Tippex?

Bahahaha!

I'd rather look like a caveman than a pornstar.

dame maybe you, sorry, they could camouflage it with a tasteful rosebud tattoo? A la Cheryl?

Happy Valentines! Here's a bunch of roses!

Balloon knot!!!!

I've attached a guide OP, may I suggest balayage? Perhaps a number III medium white to olive at the vulva, tapering off to a number I light pale white at the anus?

Gets cardigan

I'd imagine you'd get it done at a spa or a waxing salon? If they strip it they may bleach it?