Anal bleaching

[poobag]

Right, I'm looking for a product to lighten up the skin around my anus and vulva. Approaching 40 and had 3 kids - I couldn't look less like a porn star down there if I tried. But try I will.
Any recommendations?

analbleachingguide.com/at-home-diy/

HTH

I bet cave women had better sex than exploited porn stars.

Any nurses on here? Do I need to do this to look 'neat and tidy' for my next smear test? Clean cardi and a polo mint?

littlekiwi I had to click your link..... this is my favourite part

"Both vaginal bleaching and anal bleaching might seem crazy – but lots of people (both men and women!) are lightening these areas to feel cleaner, sexier, and more confident when exposing their naughty bits during intercourse."

I didn't know men worried about their vaginas....

'Jolene, I'm begging you, please don't take my bum tan'

CandyYumYum I know Dolly has had a lot of work and not afriad of a treatment to maintain her looks, but I never realised that her song Jolene was a homage to anal bleaching, you learn something new every day!

I don’t see what the big deal is. OP looking on Amazon and the like the DIY kits have pretty poor reviews. I would maybe just get it done at a saloon.

Jeez, I can hardly be bothered to pluck my eyebrows never mind beautifying my arsehole.

Sex in the light (!) without a cardigan (or lycra layers) (!) oh, OP you're not cut out for a Scottish lover and missing sooo much 😂

lots of people (both men and women!) are lightening these areas to feel cleaner, sexier, and more confident

I know this thread is a bit of a laugh but just to be serious for a moment, are they saying that darker skintones are dirty ? Because if so, that's seriously messed up.

If you overdo it does it glow like a gin and tonic in a disco? Then you could have sex in the dark in your cardi and your partner could always find the right orifice.

Sounds like too much effort and pain for me. To be fair I wish I had enough spare time to be thinking of bleaching unseen bits of my body !

Ow ow ow! I've got a headache from laughing so much....

The things I have learnt on MN! Fantastic thread, definitely a Classic

I agree. You might not be able to see it yourself, but Sauron sees all.

Hi! I'm Barry Scott! How can I help?

lots of people (both men and women!) are lightening these areas to feel cleaner, sexier, and more confident

There's a lot wrong with this statement but I'll ignore those so as not to derail such an amazing thread. But the thought of someone striding down the road, bristling with confidence (and possibly a little dance) because of their newly bleached arsehole, is fabulous.

This is hilarious. As for the advice, I've got nothing.

The ring of confidence!!! And I thought that was clean teeth.....

Could you not colour it pink with a sharpy pen?

I've been up half the night with pelvic pain so I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself this morning. But this has proper cheered me up.
I have no advice but if you decide to go down the home bleaching route OP please come back to enlighten us prudes how it went for you. Chemical burns sting a bit just so you know.

Couldn't leave without expressing my joy at finding this thread. Definitely straight to classics, I've never laughed so much. The dog keeps giving me a look that seems to say " grow up ."
.Anyway, for the benefit of poor old poobag and her conundrum, I'd recommend she finds herself a less painful hobby like maybe tiddlywinks or something.

OMG I'll never eat a polo mint again without bursting into laughter. 😂

Saloon

I actually know someone who rather drunkenly had a "W" tattooed either side of her bum hole.
Bending over to reveal a beautiful calligraphy "WOW" has got to way more eye catching than a bit of pale pink surely. 😂

I wondered why I was lacking confidence. It’s because my arsehole doesn’t sparkle as it should.