Anal bleaching

[poobag]

Right, I'm looking for a product to lighten up the skin around my anus and vulva. Approaching 40 and had 3 kids - I couldn't look less like a porn star down there if I tried. But try I will.
Any recommendations?

But it’s got bleach on it...

The cat's done a whoopsy in my beret...

I'm not middle aged, honest.

You wash the bleach off you idiot

Well if hope so but the loo still smells bleach after a few flushes so I would still advise caution down there...

Won't he admire it if its not bleached white?

Poor you.

I've seen someone have it done before and you don't bleach it until it's actually white, just so it's the same colour as your skin.... but you knew that already don't be so silly

Course he does. Just like he'd admire me if i was hairy, but I choose to remove all my body hair and he likes it that way too.It's just another form of grooming.

@franktheskank Humour is often an effective way to show how ridiculous something is. This thread is wonderfully lighthearted but the truth is that women ought to have more respect for themselves than be convinced by porn, men, the media that they need to continuously change their body to meet new standards. We all have things that make us feel better about ourselves such as make up, fashion, hair colouring, waxing, eyebrow threading etc. But no amount of normalising is going to convince me that that I should be sitting in a bowl of domestos. Quite right that the lovely people of Mumsnet should call it out and hopefully influence young women not to be swayed by looking like a pornstar.

Thanks for the sympathy helmet but it's not needed here thanks. My dp worships every single part of my body no matter what I do to it so it's all good here

It's exactly the same as all those things you listed.

I'm not disagreeing with you btw but I think that's a whole other thread. And I didn't like the porn star comments either.

Wow I've just sat and read over 500 posts on blinging ones ring. What a time to be alive!

Most women (and men) are darker in the groin area and in between bum cheeks, I used to do body waxing and have seen endless genital areas so I know it's not just me! It happens during puberty afaik.

So you could look at it from the same point of view as waxing, is it just another way for women to make themselves look pre pubescent for men? Yes probably, but it is what it is and that's a whole other thread!

Spot on* @Frank* eww they are really going for the prepubescent look. Yuck. Who would want to? Unless you want to encourage paedaphilia. I can't imagine why anyone would want to go for a prepubescent look for their partner. It's just gross.
It's about time we see this sort of thing for what it is. Wake up ladies. If your man wants an under 13 year old looking bottom, then it's time to move on. Let's not pretend this is fashion.

I know but it's not just men who want this, women are doing it because somewhere we're told we have to be like that, I've never actually had a man tell me I should do this or that with my body but I know that some expect you to be hairless and immaculate all over because they've grown up with porn as their only way to see naked women.

I do believe that just because something has started because of the media/patriarchy/beauty industry, it doesn't mean that's the only reason you do it. For example I look better with make up on, but why? I'm aware it's because somewhere I've picked up that long eyelashes and blushed cheeks and pouty lips look better, but I still do it anyway because I like it, but I'm aware why I think I look nicer that way.

I'm rambling now but I hope I'm getting my point across.

What an interesting person frank is.
More bum jokes please

I wonder which bit of a woman’s body the marketing companies will tell us is unacceptable without modification next-and sell us a product to modify ......

I actually have an anus question of my own and it’s a lot more fucking pertinent than this bleaching nonsense. Dh is downstairs making curry and he has put at least half a dozen dried chillies in it. It smells delicious and I want to eat it but I fear the ring of fire tomorrow. What prophylactic measures can I take other than bog roll in the freezer - please advise

Haha cupcake !

(Wish the OP would come back and bollock us again)

On a serious note, what do these women who think being middle aged is automatically contemptible do with themselves when they get there? Presumably form the credulous client base of plastic surgeons up and down the country. God what a life.

The emulation of porn stars and the dismissal of middle aged women as pathetic are the really depressing elements of this thread. Well, that and the bleaching. Thank goodness for the Justin Beiber jokes, is all I say.

I'm rambling now but I hope I'm getting my point across

Not really, no.

Maybe more time reading, less time bleaching would be a good idea for you?

Are we supposed to bleach our armpit vaginas as well?

Tampons covered in domestos up our arse and sanitary towels covered in domestos under our pits?

Followed by a spray tan to make everything else darker for heightened contrast?

This post has truly made my day, bloody hilarious!!

Just want to get it right so I don't burn my bum for no reason.

Just want to look good for myself though so will put a cardi on over so I don't give men the wrong impression.