Anal bleaching

[poobag]

Right, I'm looking for a product to lighten up the skin around my anus and vulva. Approaching 40 and had 3 kids - I couldn't look less like a porn star down there if I tried. But try I will.
Any recommendations?

You could have a multicoloured one like a starfish

(White) chocolate starfish

@elonmusk

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Pitch for new Channel 4 series....

When Anal Bleaching Goes Wrong (maybe Trevor McDonald to present for some gravitas - or should that be gravit-ass?)...

I have led a sheltered life. I feel like I have missed out on something, because no one has ever given me a critique on the colour of my arse hole.

"Pointing out you have discoloured skin on an intimate area of your body"

Can you imagine?

" err excuse me darling but I regret to inform you that you have discoloured skin on an intimate area, we must cease immediately and I will only restart when you have sorted out the issue"

He'd have a dislocated head!

Does bleaching hurt? I can't even believe I am asking 😂

Again, the inherent racism in implying that darker skin is "discoloured" or dirty.

Racism? Really? It would never have even entered my head you could come up with this from bleaching your arse? Or is it just me?

This thread is a hoot! DH and I have been together nearly 21 years and never felt the need or desire to inspect and judge each others back bottoms. Why would you want to look at where poo comes from anyway?

Is OP still around or gone?

Not sure @cindersrella.... lets see @poobag you there?

Reading that review, it becomes clear why this is not aimed at me,... I have no natural allure to be spoiled by discoloured entirely appropriate looking genitals. What a relief.

This thread is so great. I read it to all the 20-somethings at work yesterday and it really cheered us up for the weekend!

BetteDavis you have had me sitting at home alone roaring like a loon

I keep getting an image of Ross from Friends and his teeth whitening escapade but, you know, lower.

This thread reminds me of the one in S&B a few years ago about what to wear to a swingers club. It made me laugh but was actually very informative this thread is less so but that's fine by me, there are some things I'm happy not knowing

Ross from Friends was mentioned earlier, too, and for some reason I got it all mixed up in my head with the one where he goes to the spray tan booth and have been imagining someone getting too many bleach sprays up their bum hole.

(This thread is bonkers but very, very funny )

How perverse! Many white people send a lot of money (and put themselves at risk of skin cancer) to acquire a darker skin because they don't like being pale; but those same people feel that their perineum is too dark and set about trying to bleach it. What a funny lot the human race is!

spend

I wonder if Kim Kardashian’s bum sprayer would have the information that the OP requires?

Can you link tired bunny I need a new funny thread.

Found it I think, although I haven't read it yet.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/1992360-What-does-one-wear-to-a-swingers-club

poobag

Just buy the best reviewed one on Amazon, quicker than reading this thread.

Every time I come back to this thread thinking it must have run out of steam but no.
Phenomenal effort mumsnetters