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Original poster

I have gone grey (stopped dyeing). Not everyone likes it, am I too young?

182 replies

TimTamTerrier · 08/12/2016 12:15

I'm 49 and I've been dyeing my hair for a long time as I started going grey in my early 30s. I'm sick of it, so I stopped having it dyed about 10 months ago and I've just had the last of the colour cut out (it was very faded anyway as it was semi-permanent). A few people have said that they much preferred it coloured and that I'm too young to go grey. It did suit my colouring better when it was brown, and my hair is a bit fine and the dye thickened it up a bit, but I don't think I'm too young to be grey, am I?

OP posts:
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MiniAlphaBravo · 08/12/2016 12:18

It's your decision but I do think it's very ageing. Since everyone seems to dye their hair these days if you don't you could look 10+ years older. Sorry. But do what you think is best for you, looking older may not bother you.

specialsubject · 08/12/2016 12:19

up to you. Grey hair can look very elegant, especially when long.

what is ageing is thick beige makeup with black and red circles, yet no-one seems to comment on that. And I have to say that unless you are asking for opinions, people shouldn't offer them to you!

Pidlan · 08/12/2016 12:28

is it all over grey? That looks fab imo. I have salt and pepper hair which, in order to hide, I'd have to use permanent colour every 3 weeks. I'm 33.Angry

BiddyPop · 08/12/2016 12:30

I JUST got my red candy cane stripes (for Christmas) put in my hair last night. Generally though, I am letting the (silver) grey come through and not dying. Our family has a history of early greying though, the boys have tended to let the salt and pepper look happen, most of the girls have it dyed (DGM was still getting hers dyed after she turned 90, but stopped around 91).

I personally think its nice, and when I was younger, it was useful to give me a bit of authority and sense of being older when I was a manager of a much older lady who felt I was much too young to manage her (and she was not good at her job either - had been promoted on "time served" rather than merit).

I am currently early 40s, and once the red has faded again, I'll probably put the same brown as my natural colour over the bleached stripes we needed for the red. And once that's grown out, let the silver shine through again.

ThisPasadenaHomemaker · 08/12/2016 12:33

I think a lot of it depends on your haircut and and your personal style.

I am 36, have been totally naturally grey for a few years now and love it. And I categorically do not look ten years older (so funny, like a one colour box dye is equivalent to a facelift 😂).

I have a great hairdresser, always wear makeup especially statement lips (am a MUA) and wear a lot of black so my silver hair looks deliberate and chic (imo) rather than like I've forgotten to dye it. I get nothing but compliments.

If you like your grey and can't be arsed with the faff of dyeing any more then keep it. It's really nobody elses business what you do with your hair and to comment on preferring it before is just bloody rude.

Original poster
TimTamTerrier · 08/12/2016 12:34

It's about half grey and the rest is mid to dark blonde (which is a surprise as I was a brunette when I started dyeing), but almost entirely grey at the front around my face. At the moment it's longer than shoulder length, I find short hair impossible to keep looking good and it wouldn't suit my face really. I use blue shampoo to brighten they grey bits so that it's silvery rather than steel grey.

I don't wear make up, which is probably also a bit ageing, but I'm sensitive to almost everything so I find my skin copes better without it.

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Cherylene · 08/12/2016 12:40

It depends how grey it is. If it has no colour at all, it can look quite stunning if you are young. My DSis has white hair at your age.

Mine is a bit more variable - grey at the front and dark at the back.

I will go for putting some of my own colour through, along with a lighter shade to highlight and a warm tone. It looks more natural and you get much less of a problem when it grows out and roots show - which happens as soon as you leave the salon.

burnishedsilver · 08/12/2016 12:58

The question is do you like it?

Personally, at 45 I feel I'm at least 15 years away from considering it.

Original poster
TimTamTerrier · 08/12/2016 13:01

I think I like it burnished, at least I don't dislike it enough to make the effort to keep it coloured.

OP posts:
Pallisers · 08/12/2016 13:06

Up to you but like others I think it is very ageing.

MIL never dyed her hair and she has been grey since her 40s. She has good hair and it wasn't a bad shade of grey but she still looked older than she was.

simbobs · 08/12/2016 13:16

I'm a good bit older than you and I will continue to colour mine for as long as I think it looks right. I think my dc would be embarrassed by having a grey-haired Mum (had them late and wouldn't want to be taken for their Grandma). As others have said, though it really is your choice. The combination of grey hair and no make up may be making you look washed out, perhaps?

CMOTDibbler · 08/12/2016 13:32

I'm 44 and have grey/silver hair and get lots of compliments. I have however, found that having naturally grey hair is just about the most rebellious thing a woman can do with her hair, and some people are shocked by it

megletthesecond · 08/12/2016 13:36

Stand your ground. Naturally ageing hair suits a person skin tone more than coloured hair IMO.

I'm 42, starting to get a couple of grey streaks and speckles and I ain't touching it. My time and money is better spent on good food and the gym.

Cherylene · 08/12/2016 13:41

Get a good haircut appropriate to your age (not a 'grey hair' one). That helps a lot.

I find good skincare and tinted moisturiser with minimal make-up goes well.

I quite like my grey hair too - I just get a bit bored which is why I go for putting bits of colour in it rather than total coverage.

Fluffycloudland77 · 08/12/2016 13:42

I have one or two white hairs and when Dh commented on them mil said "oh you'll have to dye it" straight away like if I didn't I'd instantly be classed as past it.

If you like it then keep it.

Aveda do a blue malva shampoo, I found using a Schwartzkopf shampoo and deep conditioner for aged hair improved my hairs general condition as has taking a cheap hair skin and nail supplement from tescos.

PollytheDolly · 08/12/2016 13:44

I'm 44 and have grey roots.

I'm currently a magenta purple colour lol and love it!

idontlikealdi · 08/12/2016 13:46

I've had to go natural after developing an allergy when pregnant. Mine is coming through in silver streaks in dark hair.

I've had nothing but positive comments, particularly on how shiny my hair is compared to when it was bleached. I definitely don't think it makes me look older. I do keep it cut well, longish bob at the moment and I wear make up.

I'm 37.

Original poster
TimTamTerrier · 08/12/2016 14:44

Aveda Blue Malva is the one that I use to make it more silvery, I use it once a week-ish. I don't think I can use Schwartzkopf shampoo as SLS irritates my scalp.

It's funny you should say that about being mistaken for a granny simbobs, people often assumed that I was my DC's grandmother when my hair was brown. It stopped happening when I left London and it didn't start up again when my hair went grey.

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burnishedsilver · 08/12/2016 15:08

I think grey hair needs an edgy kind of a cut. Are you styling it? If you don't wear make up and you have mid length grey hair, without making a bit of an effort styling it, it's hard not to look like you've just kind of given up on yourself.

luckiestgirl · 08/12/2016 15:14

Who cares what other people think? Letting yourself go grey shows you are comfortable in your own skin and aren't fighting a natural process. It shows confidence which is far more attractive.

Racerback · 08/12/2016 15:14

having naturally grey hair is just about the most rebellious thing a woman can do with her hair

This.

And the more of us that let our natural grey hair show, the less 'ageing' it will be. Not that 'ageing' is anything to be frightened off. We're all doing it, after all Hmm

BadToTheBone · 08/12/2016 16:28

I'm 49, I haven't seen my natural colour since I was 19, I considered going grey but my hair is still very dark at the back. Decided I'm not ready yet, so the dye went on again. Much happier with it, I do it whatever colour I fancy at the time though, lol

FireAndStrife · 08/12/2016 17:02

You're not too young if you like it!

I think you need to make a greater effort with makeup and style so as not to look older than you want to now!

can you post a picture of it?

Original poster
TimTamTerrier · 10/12/2016 12:35

Why do I need to look young, or as young as it's possible for me to look? I've never questioned it before, but it's come up a lot with they whole grey hair thing. It's a complete statement 'grey hair will age you' and there's no further comment about why that would be a bad thing.

I can understand that losing 10 actual years would be a good thing, I'd have fewer aches and pains, but just appearing younger wouldn't make a jot of difference to my life as far as I can see. Would I get better service in shops or something?

OP posts:
Pengweng · 10/12/2016 13:57

If you like it then go for it.
My hair is starting to go white! I'd say about 10% of it is white at 32 so i'm assuming by the time i'm 50 it will all be white. I really don't care if anyone thinks I look older than I am. Grin

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