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Original poster

I have gone grey (stopped dyeing). Not everyone likes it, am I too young?

182 replies

TimTamTerrier · 08/12/2016 12:15

I'm 49 and I've been dyeing my hair for a long time as I started going grey in my early 30s. I'm sick of it, so I stopped having it dyed about 10 months ago and I've just had the last of the colour cut out (it was very faded anyway as it was semi-permanent). A few people have said that they much preferred it coloured and that I'm too young to go grey. It did suit my colouring better when it was brown, and my hair is a bit fine and the dye thickened it up a bit, but I don't think I'm too young to be grey, am I?

OP posts:
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SirChenjin · 16/12/2016 18:20

Something to look forward to - this ageing thing has some surprising benefits! Grin

Lorelei76 · 16/12/2016 19:40

I bet money that the middle of my monobrow will stay put while the parts over my eyes vanish.
OMD I'm going to give myself nightmares now!!

Mrsmadcatlady · 16/12/2016 19:51

I'm 41, dyed my hair beautiful shades of puke of the rainbow over the years, but after df was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer and ds diagnosed epileptic (at the same time) I haven't been able to get to the hairdressers or bothered to dye myself. I have a bit of salt and pepper throughout, but I also have a great mrs Munster streak at the front that I'm damn well keeping!! And I've stopped straightening the shit out of it and embracing my natural curls. Everyone I know has said it looks better thanks for letting me know when a cut and colour costs £90 a time

Itsalldramarama · 16/12/2016 20:52

I stopped dyeing mine 18 month ago , I love the freedom of not doing roots every 3 weeks . Yes it was messy during the grow out but you have to own it , I cut all the old crispy colour out in Jan , now I'm growing it long . I don't feel I look older to be honest and if I do so what ! I'm 50 with a 9 year old son and havent been mistaken for his gran just yet ! Who can say what 40 , 50 looks like these days ? I'm a bad judge of age regardless of hair colour anyway ! If you want to do it try it ! If you don't like it just recolour :) mines a mix of black and white , I thought I was more white but I love how it's grown in

Lorelei76 · 16/12/2016 21:17

Drama, that looks fab.

Mrsmadcatlady · 16/12/2016 22:05

Wow drama, you are my spirit animal!

NotYoda · 17/12/2016 06:54

drama

Lovely! Don't grow it long. It's a lovely length. Long hair can drag faces down

Drquin · 17/12/2016 07:14

The ladies who have posted pictures of their grey / white / platinum artic hair all look great.

Aging or looking older is a fascinating concept ...... the red shoes logic is perfect.

I'd agree with the MUA upthread, if you are fussed about "looking older" (whatever that is) then it's the whole picture you need to be interested in, not just the hair colour.
Grey / white is "aging" IMHO if you team it with a shampoo & set / short, tight perm and old-lady cardigan. The poster who shared her picture above certainly doesn't "look older" with her crisp, white shirt and several ear-rings.

Itsalldramarama · 17/12/2016 07:54

Thank you :)
Notyoda -- I think only another inch or 2 so I can put it up , any longer and I agree it would drag me down .

NotYoda · 17/12/2016 07:55

Sorry to sound bossy! What's great about your hair is that natural wave it's got,

Itsalldramarama · 17/12/2016 08:05

Not bossy at all :) thank you , the waves came back when I stopped colouring , it was just crispy frizz before !

FurryLittleTwerp · 17/12/2016 08:42

Mine has been more wavy since I stopped colouring too, Drama - not quite as wavy as yours, but with much more bounce than it seemed to have before.

alizondevice · 17/12/2016 10:03

Drama, you look beautiful! Your hair is absolutely perfect!

Sukitakeitoff · 17/12/2016 10:05

I've never dyed my hair but have no noticeable grey at 43 so perhaps I would have felt differently if I'd gone grey prematurely.

Those who say grey hair doesn't suit some skin tones or eye colours, or who feel it would make them look "washed out"... I'm curious: do you feel the same about men with grey hair? There are a couple of dads at school who are totally grey in their 40s but who look really good. Would women of a similar age really look so much older or washed out?

motherinferior · 17/12/2016 10:17

I was asked several times last night by people whom I've not seen for a while what I'd done to my hair, "it looks amazing". It's gone a kind of pinky rose-gold as the grey and silver mix. It's also quite curly. I love it.

SirChenjin · 17/12/2016 13:39

Suki - absolutely some men suit grey hair better than others imo, why wouldn't they? Confused It's probably why some of them dye their hair, just as some women do (although we tend not to have 'who does she think he's fooling' comments thrown at us as a result)

SirChenjin · 17/12/2016 14:09

She's fooling!

WelshMoth · 17/12/2016 16:34

Reg AWESOME hair.

OP - let's see a pic!

WelshMoth · 17/12/2016 16:55

I know what you're saying SirChenjin and I agree. Should my natural hair colour develop in a sleek platinum grey then I'll embrace it wholeheartedly. My luck though, is that it'll be a wiry grey matt that will make me look pale and drawn. I'm all for embracing my natural self (I wear limited make-up) and rebelling against the machine but I don't want to look like I'm rebelling for the sake of making a point and sacrificing my own self-esteem in the process.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 18/12/2016 08:05

I did it in my late thirties, I couldn't give a fig what anyone else thinks but it gets much kudos from youngsters who think I'm being trendy

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 18/12/2016 08:25

I have been completely grey since I was 30. I didn't dye it for a few years but then got bored - have been various shades of red, spent the last five years blonde and currently have a nice pinky-violet tinge in the blonde.

A lot of people who know me have no idea that I am grey, and very few remember that my natural colour is very very dark brown

It's your hair - do what you want. If you like it, balls to everyone else!

Dozer · 18/12/2016 08:35

Not everyone lives longer, or has good health. My DM, for example, has been disabled and in severe, chronic pain since her early 40s.

A PP commented that we "need more help" from make up as we get older: again, why such social pressure to look young?

where I live a fair few women have botox etc too, which has health risks and costs loads.

Someone also mentioned fearing being invisible to whom? Men?

Know it's shallow but I do fear looking awful relative to women of the same age/older than me, in the eyes of my DH and those women and their partners, because they dye their hair, wear make up, botox, gel nails, eyebrow appointments etc. But not enough to go down that road.

SirChenjin · 18/12/2016 09:37

No, of course not everyone lives longer or has better health - I was talking at a societal level (probably should have added a caveat).

I don't think the 'help' was about looking younger, but more to do with enhancing skin tone etc. Mine has definitely changed since I've got older - so what suited me and what I could get away with in terms of colour when I was younger isn't the same nowadays. That's fine though - I'm almost 48, it would be strange if it did.

It's interesting that you're talking about women who dye their hair, wear make up, botox, gel nails, eyebrow appointments etc as if one follows the other - which of course it doesn't. I think it goes back to a PP about our acceptable levels of intervention - I wear makeup and dye my hair because I prefer the colour around my pale skin and dark hazel eyes, but don't do botox, manicures or eyebrows because I think it looks too false. Other women have different views of course, but neither is right or wrong.

Floisme · 18/12/2016 09:52

I completely get dyeing your hair because you don't like the colour nature has given you. I spent my twenties and thirties messing with my hair colour. Sometimes I was trying to be blonder and sometimes it was just for a laugh. (Mind you when I look at the photos now, I have to concede that maybe nature got it right after all.)

And I also agree that we all draw our own line in the sand. Mine is if a procedure requires a medical practitioner rather than a hair or beauty specialist - although I guess even that line gets blurred when it comes to teeth!

SirChenjin · 18/12/2016 09:54

My line is around the same - if it involves a needle or pain then I'm not interested!