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Original poster

I have gone grey (stopped dyeing). Not everyone likes it, am I too young?

182 replies

TimTamTerrier · 08/12/2016 12:15

I'm 49 and I've been dyeing my hair for a long time as I started going grey in my early 30s. I'm sick of it, so I stopped having it dyed about 10 months ago and I've just had the last of the colour cut out (it was very faded anyway as it was semi-permanent). A few people have said that they much preferred it coloured and that I'm too young to go grey. It did suit my colouring better when it was brown, and my hair is a bit fine and the dye thickened it up a bit, but I don't think I'm too young to be grey, am I?

OP posts:
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AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 10/12/2016 13:59

I have however, found that having naturally grey hair is just about the most rebellious thing a woman can do with her hair, and some people are shocked by it

Totally agree with this.

I don't think grey hair is necessarily ageing, but people are so unused to seeing women under sixty who don't colour their hair that they assume a woman be older because her hair is grey. Some people have said to me they aren't brave enough to stop colouring!

I haven't coloured mine since January and I don't think I look older than others I work with around the same age who do dye. I am quite into clothes/shoes/beauty etc. and am generally pretty well turned out and while I don't spend hours on grooming I have a good expensive haircut and wear light make-up.

I've had lots of positive comments about my silver hair and even my 19yo son who initially was horrified at the thought of me going grey thinks the streaks in my hair are cool.

perfectlybroken · 10/12/2016 14:07

I personally find people who show their natural look very attractive,especially as it's getting rarer. So if someone is clean and tidy with natural hair and make up I think that looks lovely. That's how I try to be myself and it gets harder as you get older as everyone else is dying hair and wearing make up. So if you like the look, and feel comfortable then you might just have to ignore everyone else. I found getting my colours done helped enormously, wearing colours that suit you can really help to avoid looking old and tired.

grannycake · 10/12/2016 16:06

I stopped dyeing my hair when I was 50. Am now 60 and it is completely grey - silver in front and slightly darker at back. I absolutely love it and get loads of compliments. I agree there is a real fear of looking older but we will all age (unless we're really unlucky) and I wish we could celebrate it rather than trying to hide away every grey hair and wrinkle.

ImBrian · 10/12/2016 16:43

I've stopped dying mine and I'm 36. It's dark brown with white around my face and silver highlights every where else. My hair is bleached so I've had that tinted dark grey and I love it. It's a grey ombré, plan is to keep tinting till the bleach is out and then it'll be natural.

I've had it all cut off into a messy, choppy bob (it was ruined) and wear make up and I don't look older then I am.

0dfod · 10/12/2016 19:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maverickismywingman · 10/12/2016 19:21

There's a woman in my work who has HAD to stop dying her hair as she has become allergic to it. She used to dye it that dark red colour which I personally find aging anyway and has embraced the grey. I think she looks fab

I don't think grey hair is all that bad. Just have a good cut and you will rock it.

JaneJeffer · 10/12/2016 20:00

I think it's easier to go grey if you have blue or green eyes. If you have brown it can be draining.

I left mine for ages but it started to depress me so I'm back to the dye.

At 48 I'm just not ready to be grey yet.

Molly333 · 10/12/2016 20:10

Whilst it is your choice it is ageing ( hair and beauty artist) , if that doesn't bother you that's okay as it is your choice .
However their are circumstances when it works well I believe . That being in those with something striking about them whether it be red lipstick , a cool striking funky cut or someone with striking fashion sense , I guess what I'm saying is to pull it off it fairs well for those with an kinda " edge/ style" to them x

CaraAspen · 11/12/2016 12:30

Grey hair is ageing.

Original poster
TimTamTerrier · 11/12/2016 12:41

So, it's aging, and that's a bad thing because...

OP posts:
Fuzzypeggy · 11/12/2016 12:45

Because we're led to believe that youth is everything these days and older people certainly aren't valued as they should be. Good on you for not buying into it.

CateGory8 · 11/12/2016 12:59

I'd rather have grey hair and a fresh face instead of an ageing face and youthful dyed hair. I want to look good for my age as oppose to struggling to maintain my youth. Having said that, I think you should do what makes you feel good.

This is from someone who started to go significantly grey from the age of 17. 30 years later and I'm all in.

Heathen4Hire · 11/12/2016 13:23

I noticed my grey hair at 13. I had been dyeing my hair soon after that (various colours, but liked blue best Smile) until about 2 years ago. I have grown it all out now, my grey is concentrated at the front and the rest is my natural chestnut brown colour. My nan went grey early, as did my dad. I'm now 39 and despite my hairdresser forever offering to put highlights in it, I have said no. I work funny hours, I'm busy with my family, I cannot be ARSED to maintain dyed hair, and I can't really afford it.

My hair is very thick. I have a few wrinkles but I can pass for 5 years younger, despite the grey.

My mum is in her mid-60s and despite being naturally a brunette but with grey like me, dyes her hair blond. I am trying to persuade her to go Dame Judi Dench or Helen Mirren but she thinks grey hair is ageing Hmm. Quite what she means by that regarding my beauty choice (subtext) is an ongoing debate between us.

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 11/12/2016 14:53

Grey hair is ageing.

That statement on it's own does not make sense though.

You could say having breasts or starting your periods are ageing - they indicate you have got older, but that's not a bad thing.

Whilst it is your choice it is ageing ( hair and beauty artist)

Well it's in hairdressers' best interests to play on women's insecurities and perpetuate the idea they will look old if they stop colouring; just think of the millions of pounds that would be lost if women stopped dyeing their grey hair.

NotYoda · 11/12/2016 14:59

I don't think grey hair is a problem per se - but it does not suit everyone's colouring. Some people dye their hair a colour that resembles one they had when younger, and that can look very ageing - if it's too dark/vivid.

I was really surprised when my hairdresser told me many many women with grey hair actually dye/highlight it to a tone that suits them.

CointreauVersial · 11/12/2016 15:09

I'm determined never to dye mine. I'm 49, and have a fair amount of grey at the back, but none at the front (annoyingly, the grey is thicker and curlier than the non-grey, so I'm always fighting to keep it in check). No way do I want to be spending £££ every few weeks having my roots done.

My face looks 49 anyway, grey hair or not. What you see is what you get.

ElleMcElle · 11/12/2016 15:32

Hi Tim Tam - absolutely agree with you that "ageing" does not automatically equal "bad". We're told that it does time and time again - but we don't have to buy into it.

I'm mid-30s and my hair is going grey - has been since my 20s and I've never dyed it (much to my mother and MIL's surprise). This doesn't make me older than I am - I am simply a woman in her 30s with some grey streaks. I have no interest in pretending to be anything else.

So much time and energy can be wasted on anti-ageing fixes - much better to enjoy the time you actually have by using it to do something more interesting!

CuileanDubh · 11/12/2016 16:38

I've gone totally grey this year. I had mid back length dark hair, dyed every four weeks to cover the roots. The hairdresser thought it was ageing, but totally disagreed that I grow it out, and recommended I lighten it a few shades instead. She totally buggered it and it started breaking off. I had an allergic reaction due to the bleach/dye and then my autoimmune condition joined the party, so no more dye.

I found a new hairdresser, grew the grey out a bit then had it chopped into a longish pixie. In the transition phase I hated it, the ends were bleached to blend in. I felt a bit frumpy, my clothes looked wrong, the beiges, khakis and browns didn't suit me any more. I had to rethink my makeup too.

Now my hair is fabulous, short and totally silver. I don't ever have to worry about roots again, it's totally freeing. I do look my age (late 40s), that isn't an issue, but I don't think I look older.

I watched a few of the Monique Parent videos on you tube for makeup and hair hints. She experiments, sometimes gets it a bit wrong and admits it, love her.

Floisme · 11/12/2016 16:54

Well it's in hairdressers' best interests to play on women's insecurities and perpetuate the idea they will look old if they stop colouring
Spot on. The whole beauty industry has got rich this way.

ImBrian · 11/12/2016 17:04

My hairdresser thinks me growing my grey out is a great idea so they're not all against it.

Floisme · 11/12/2016 17:07

That's good to know. I'm not anti hairdresser by the way - I'd be screwed without mine.

motherinferior · 11/12/2016 17:16

I've stopped dyeing mine and had rather a lot of compliments. And the SWEET RELIEF!

T00ManyB00ks · 11/12/2016 17:25

Recently stopped dying mine (33 and 12 weeks pg). I've had loads of compliments about how much it has "softened" my appearance. My dye was quite dark and I think the difference is fairly noticeable (silver/ white) pretty much all over. Must say it is a relief not to have to go to the salon ever 4-5 weeks but I'm now wondering if I should bother going back now I'm passed 12 weeks.

GobblersKnob · 11/12/2016 17:27

I started getting grey in my easy teens and then dyed by hair continuously for years, three years ago I got sick of it tried to grow out the colour, hated the root look even more, so shaved my head to get rid of all the colour ( I don't generally do things by halves) I loved that so much I kept it at less than a cm for a year, then got bored and it is now past my shoulders.

Seeing as I started going grey so young I have surprisingly little really, big chunks at my temples, some interesting steaks through my hair, some odd white strands, the rest of my hair is ash blonde/brown and my eyes are green, people often ask where I had my highlights done. I love it more than any other hair colour I have ever had, it is gorgeous, and in such beautiful shiny condition form not being fucked around with all the time.

Ooooh but it might be 'ageing'...... not a huge concern as I generally couldn't find a fuck to give for anyone who would judge me for my appearance, I don't have a conventional job and dress etc entirely to please myself.

So sad that women's lives are bracketed into a try chunk of life when we are considered acceptable and we spend the rest of them desperately trying to reach/return to that golden age, I remember longing to be grown up, yet once we are we fight an endless battle to be that age and no more.

Fuck that.

MotherFuckingChainsaw · 11/12/2016 17:27

I've said similar on another thread

Some things (hair/clothes) make me look old. That's fine. I am middle aged at best. I have no fucking desire to mope around trying to look like I'm in my twenties. I had ten years of that at the appropriate time. Constantly trying to recreate the look of lost youth is a fine hobby if it makes you happy , but a bit tragic if taken too far.

Some of my clothes make me look short. And that's fine too, At 5 foot I'm never going to look tall.

My style role models are short middle aged women who look like short middle aged women.