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Original poster

I have gone grey (stopped dyeing). Not everyone likes it, am I too young?

182 replies

TimTamTerrier · 08/12/2016 12:15

I'm 49 and I've been dyeing my hair for a long time as I started going grey in my early 30s. I'm sick of it, so I stopped having it dyed about 10 months ago and I've just had the last of the colour cut out (it was very faded anyway as it was semi-permanent). A few people have said that they much preferred it coloured and that I'm too young to go grey. It did suit my colouring better when it was brown, and my hair is a bit fine and the dye thickened it up a bit, but I don't think I'm too young to be grey, am I?

OP posts:
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6
Lorelei76 · 12/12/2016 19:39

Black is my natural colour so I will have a stripy stage.

Cocolepew · 12/12/2016 19:49

I go through stages of going grey. I have very short hair so it doesn't take long to cut any dye out.
I was naturally dark and stopped using dark dye a few years ago due to an auto immune disease.
I normally bleach it now.
Im pure white at the sides and front but it is still dark towards the back, it can look patchy so I sometimes bleach bits to match the natural white.

Cocolepew · 12/12/2016 19:51

This is the natural grey and the other is natural colour undercut and bleached top.

NotYoda · 12/12/2016 19:54

Cocole

I like both. Beautiful hair. I prefer the natural grey.

NotYoda · 12/12/2016 19:55

What strikes me is that younger women are bleaching and dying their hair very ash/grey, and it looks really funky like yours Cocole

Dozer · 13/12/2016 14:07

I don't want to die mine, because of the time commitment, cost, toxic chemicals, animal testing, environment, and because men don't. But almost everyone I know does and I do feel people are already judging, and am probably under 5% grey.

It's become an expected part of women "making an effort".

Dozer · 13/12/2016 14:08

I think I would feel a bit less pressure if I was thin.

Cocolepew · 13/12/2016 16:11

Thank you yoda Smile

Original poster
TimTamTerrier · 13/12/2016 19:56

Glad to hear so many stories of people being happy with their grey hair.

I will be sticking with it. On the whole I don't care that much about other people's opinions but my Mum (who still dyes her hair) doesn't like my grey much and I do care about her opinion. However, she knows me well enough to know that if I haven't listened to her the first few times then I never will, so she's mostly stopped commenting.

OP posts:
AnnaMagdalene · 13/12/2016 19:59

I have grey hair. I think it looks good on Patti Smith, who is an idol of mine.

As my hair has faded from dark brown, I've changed the colours I wear slightly. Some shades grey-blues for example, look a lot better on me now.

I think looking good is about wearing stuff that suits you - not trying to disguise yourself as an approximation of a younger somebody else.

motherinferior · 13/12/2016 20:06
Yoarchie · 13/12/2016 20:17

People do gauge age by hair colour.
People mistake my mum for a mum rather than a granny as she dyes her hair religiously and it looks like it could be on a 20yo.
I have a couple of greys, I will never dye them, the whole lot can go grey before I'm forty for all I care. I think it's appalling that we have turned into a society that basically requires all women dye their hair or else be considered odd. I'll not ever dye mine and couldn't give a stuff if people think I'm 20yrs older.

Floisme · 13/12/2016 20:33

I adore Patti Smith. Smile And having seen her in real life, I think she looks bloody great.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 14/12/2016 06:44

I love my stripy hair. LOVE IT.

Big fat streaks of white all the way through.

It's not aging, how can it be? It's just a hair colour.

I have gone grey (stopped dyeing). Not everyone likes it, am I too young?
MsRinky · 14/12/2016 07:14

Ha, I've started to go grey now, and whenever I have fleeting thoughts that I am making insufficient effort at my age and should dye it, I too think of Patti Smith and instead feel all punk and badass instead! There's something so meek and apologetic about pretending not to be grey when you are, and fuck that, I'm not apologising.

motherinferior · 14/12/2016 12:50

So...best purple shampoo recommendations? Am currently sticking with Provoke but happy to trade up if the results are worth it.

SirChenjin · 14/12/2016 13:00

I'm finding all these comments about grey hair (or not dyeing your hair) being badass, not meek and apologetic, the sign of a strong woman, being rebellious and so on slightly ironic. Firstly, it's not your hair colour (or anything else to do with your appearance) that makes you any of those things - it's the person and their achievements. Secondly - the judging of any hair colour is not on, whether that hair colour is bleached blonde, helmet dark, grey, or going grey.

Shiningexample · 14/12/2016 13:01

Grey hair is growing in popularity, as more women in their forties go grey so the association in our minds between grey and elderly will weaken

If people of 80 and over were the only ones who wore red shoes then we would think that red shoes were ageing

It's just a colour

BiddyPop · 14/12/2016 13:03

This is my Christmas Candy Cane colour - the lighting doesn't really do justice to the brightness of the red, there is still plenty of grey showing through (I told hairdresser not to worry about getting all those!), and when that goes, I will go back to my natural colour again.

I have gone grey (stopped dyeing). Not everyone likes it, am I too young?
motherinferior · 14/12/2016 13:16

It is, sadly, distinctly rebellious to defy the idea that naturally grey hair is dreadful. It's not 'just a colour'. It is the loss of colour and directly linked to OHMYGOD ageing. Which is as we know the worst thing a woman can do.

Fuzzypeggy · 14/12/2016 13:27

I agree mother. It is rebellious not to dye hair these days. It shouldn't be but it is

TinselTwins · 14/12/2016 13:33

I'm so with you OP when you said "why do I have to look young?"

I couldn't agree more, life has been hard work and I would quite like some credit for slogging through it for as long as I have.. I don't see the benefit of people thinking I've only been at this for 30 years when it's been 40! It's the "life" equivalent of wanting people to think you're a shop floor assistant when you've worked your way up to manager - why should women try to be "young"???

Dozer · 14/12/2016 13:40

I don't think more women ARE not colouring hair to covering grey. It's very much the norm where I live and work to use colour.

getdownshep · 14/12/2016 15:07

Im 50 and I love my hair .When I was bleaching it, it was dry and brittle,I had roots every two weeks.
Now it's soft and in much better condition.
I alternate between White Hot Brilliant shampoo and Schwarzkopf colour freeze silver shampoo.

I have gone grey (stopped dyeing). Not everyone likes it, am I too young?
SirChenjin · 14/12/2016 16:18

It is, sadly, distinctly rebellious to defy the idea that naturally grey hair is dreadful

We will have to disagree on this. Some people may feel it's dreadful (you may equally find your life is enriched without the dubious benefit of their opinions), others may not give a toss one way or the other what you do with your hair. It's hardly rebellious to simply choose another colour for your hair - we will have to agree to differ here again as to whether grey hair (often interesting enhanced by toning shampoos etc) is or isn't another colour that some people suit and others don't so much.

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