My garden's looking all pretty now! My hands are not though, thought I'd better do some weeding before putting in plants and my hands are covered in scratches and cuts!!! Ouch!!
Still the weather's lovely, can't wait until the summer, DP's parents have a big swimming pool and a sauna in their garden and they spend half of the year in America. So take a guess where we go for the summer?
That's my cue for another bad joke;
telephone rings
"Hello?"
"Hi, honey, this is Daddy .... Is your Mommy near the phone?"
"No,Daddy.
She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank." After a brief pause,
Daddy says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!"
"Oh Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy, right now!"
"Uh, Okay, then ... here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy and Uncle Frank that Daddy's car's just pulled up outside the house." "Okay, Daddy!"
A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone.
"Well, I did what you said, Daddy."
"And what happened?" he asks. "Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went flying out the front window and now she's dead."
"Oh my God!!!!! And what about Uncle Frank?"
"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool ... but he must have forgotten that last week you took
out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too.
There is a long pause Then Daddy says,
"Swimming pool???? Is this 555-7039?"
***