AIBU to just have a photo shoot of one child?

[AnotherAwkwardPost]

For context, this is for DD who is having a newborn photo shoot which I am paying for 100% myself.

I want to have only photos of DD at the session and not DSS as he has already had newborn photos, the session is 4-6 hours so will have to battle to keep DSS entertained and the photographer only does sibling photos at special request for an additional cost, which I have not budgeted for.

AIBU to want this, I am paying for everything at the end of the day.

Who has made you think you are being UR?

No just have your pics of your baby. We’ve literally just done a sibling photo shoot and it was hard work indeed. If your partner wants pics of them together let him organise and pay for it

Of course this is fine. I paid extra for sibling photos at DD2s newborn shoot, DSD didn't like her dress but I'd bought them all to match and it would have looked ridiculous if she'd kept her big black hoody on. As a result she snarled her way through every photo and none of them are usable. Never again. I didnt want to leave her out either so with DD3 we didn't do the sibling pics at all, eve though DSS and my other DDs would have posed beautifully. So much easier if you just stick to the one child in the shoot.

@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry

Who has made you think you are being UR?

DP doesn't want DSS to feel left out so I feel like I'm being the wicked SM now for only wanting pictures of DD.

4 to 6 hours???

Why would this be unreasonable. I wouldn’t want him in the pic either

Can you do it on a day when you don’t have dss with you ?

Why is this even being organised for a day when DSS is there?

DSS will feel left out, couldn’t you have a mix of photos. He is part of family too.

The only unreasonable* part is putting your baby through that for 4-6 hours*

YANBU but 4-6 hours is ridiculous! It should take no more than 2 hours. Can’t you just do it on a day when DSS isn’t there?

Just do it when DSC kids are not there.

And how on earth could it take 4-6hrs to take some photos of one baby? A newborn baby will need to nap and feed a lot during that time

@Waahingwashingwashing

Why is this even being organised for a day when DSS is there?

We haven't chose a date yet. Still in the discussion stage of what to do.

And how on earth could it take 4-6hrs to take some photos of one baby?

Yes....

@supermodel

DSS will feel left out, couldn’t you have a mix of photos. He is part of family too.

He's already had photos done as a new born, alone. Why can't ops baby have that too?

Tell him to book/pay/organise a sibling shoot.

4 to 6 hours? Really? I would get a few of them together even at additional cost.

@tiggerwhocamefortea

The only unreasonable* part is putting your baby through that for 4-6 hours*

Absolutely

I did.
Each child on their first birthday.

Fits with your 'each child as a new born'. Can't see an issue.

Possibly nice to have photos of the two together, but that could be arranged for another time, at a point in the future.

Re the 4-6 hours, the photographer has advised this is how long it usually takes for other clients and they have facilities for feeding, changing etc also in the 4-6 hours has factored time for a break that's why it's that amount of time.

She is a popular photographer who has photographed footballers babies so I'm sure she knows what she is doing. I've only ever had school photos myself so no clue how long these things take!

A 6 hour photoshoot! As an adult I wouldn't want to be doing that so I doubt your DSS would. Just don't tell your stepson and do it whilst he's not there.

He's already had photos done as a new born, alone. Why can't ops baby have that too?

Of course she will. There's 4 hours for those photos. Second children get to have photos with their siblings too. Half or not that's the normal thing to do.

Is this literally just of your baby DD, or is it a photo shoot of Dd with you and her dad? If the latter, then honestly I think that's not good to do while DSS is around. At very least he could join in for some of the photos.... one of the six hours???

If he's not there, then fair enough but I hope you also take and display photos of the siblings together and you all together.

These kind of things can send very strong messages of whether a SC is welcome in a family, and whether they can embrace the arrival of a new sibling or will just see them as rivals.

I think having him stand on the sidelines while the three of you get your photo taken for hours is really horrible.

Book on A day you don’t have dss! Problem Solved :)

If he wants your DSS there he can pay half or stump up for another session. YANBU.