AIBU to just have a photo shoot of one child?

[AnotherAwkwardPost]

For context, this is for DD who is having a newborn photo shoot which I am paying for 100% myself.

I want to have only photos of DD at the session and not DSS as he has already had newborn photos, the session is 4-6 hours so will have to battle to keep DSS entertained and the photographer only does sibling photos at special request for an additional cost, which I have not budgeted for.

AIBU to want this, I am paying for everything at the end of the day.

For 4 to 6 hours I'd want a painting or possibly a sculpture.

4-6 hours. Bloody hell op! I can’t believe that but I suppose it will justify a huge fee from ‘footballers’ baby photographer’. Sounds an absolute nightmare.
I’d think about having one or two with both kids then he can be whipped off home? But in my world they would take maybe 20 mins tops with photographer set up already.
Good luck.

glitter that so made me laugh. Marble or even bronze cast !

What on earth makes you think a photo shoot of 4-6 hours for a newborn is a good idea. You need half a dozen decent pics and any more than that is a waste of time and money. What do you think you’re going to do with dozens of shoots? And I do think it is mean spirited not to have a few sibling shots. It doesn’t have to take long and how about doing something your DP might like without worrying about who has paid for it?

You're not unreasonable to book a photo shoot just for your baby but you would be unreasonable to book this on a day when dss is with you and make him watch. I've been that step child waiting and watching and it's not a nice feeling. Times like that make you feel shit and stay with you.

I think it’s unreasonable to not include your stepson for a few photos.

If I had a baby photo shoot of dd1 and then one of dd2 of course I’d include a few of dd1. I wouldn’t want dd1 to feel she’s lost attention just because of a new sibling. I assume you don’t live with your step child 100% of the time so you need to work especially hard to not make him feel excluded.

If DP’s unhappy he can stay at home and/or arrange and pay for a sibling shoot. He can’t stop you displaying photos from this shoot.

Why’s he not allowing DD something he allowed DSS? Is this the dynamic he’s adopting, DD never gets anything to herself because her dad happens to have an older child with a different woman?

Do you have plenty of photos of and DD already? If not then I’d get a few on the day. These early weeks are so precious.

@GlitterBiscuits

For 4 to 6 hours I'd want a painting or possibly a sculpture.

In gold.

YANBU, and if it’s just of the baby and you bring him with you (no idea why you would), he’ll be bored shitless.

I was 13 and my Mum had one for my brother and I went with her because I thought it would be ‘cute’ to see him in plant pots. We were there for about 5 hours and it was the longest 5 hours of my life. The novelty wore off after the first hour and I ended up going for a walk in the park for a bit. Having two kids there, especially one not being photographed, will be a fucking nightmare. Book it for a day without SS.

Seeing as DSS has had a newborn baby photoshoot I don't see why not have one for DD, if that's something you'd like.

YANBU but has nothing to do with you paying for it yourself, which makes no difference to whether or not it’s fair.

@GlitterBiscuits

For 4 to 6 hours I'd want a painting or possibly a sculpture.

😂

I have looked online and the duration given for the photo shoot is about right I'm not sure why everyone is saying I'm going to be making DD suffer, she is at the stage where she is sleeping mostly and the photos will literally be taken of her sleeping.. the photographer has a team of trained people who take newborn photos every single day and has won awards for her approach. The time includes time for breaks, there is a prep machine at the venue, nappy changing literally more facilities than if you were to take baby to the zoo for the day with their sibling! I really don't see the problem, people can take a baby out in the cold all day at the zoo or something but as soon as it's a photo shoot I'm being horrid??

Isn't the reason why it takes so much time is because a lot of it will be feeding, changing, putting on different outfits, crying, waiting for baby to sleep so they can pose them in and whatever else?

I've never had a newborn shoot so I may be wrong I'm just imagining how it might go

Sorry if this has been asked but why not get photos of DD on her own and ones with DSC? It's a photo shoot so not difficult unless the charge per child?

For all those say DSC has newborn photos with just them well doh he was an only child at the time as OP was not born!

I would have to take my own photo's of a baby, could not be bothered about all this faff with studios, and the 4 to 6 hours palaver.

@NeedsCharging

Sorry if this has been asked but why not get photos of DD on her own and ones with DSC? It's a photo shoot so not difficult unless the charge per child?

For all those say DSC has newborn photos with just them well doh he was an only child at the time as OP was not born!

So subsequent children should never get to do anything alone?

4-6 hours. The photographer is having you over! That’s ridiculous. Are you being swung because she’s photographed footballers kids.

Perfectly fine, OP, of course it is.

She won't suffer, OP. She's a newborn baby. She has no idea where she is or what's going on. She will be fed, poop and sleep like she would if you were at home, if you were visiting someone, if you went for a day trip somewhere, etc. IME these shoots are set up to be warm and comfy and just like being in someone's house. We had cups of tea and biscuits, plenty of time to feed just as we would at home, etc. I actually found it quite valuable as a stepping stone to getting out and about with baby generally.

We got given a newborn shoot as a gift. I probably wouldn't have thought to organise it ourselves, but I'm glad we did it actually as the photos were lovely and actually I enjoyed it! DD slept mostly although we did get some lovely pics of her briefly awake with DH.

So subsequent children should never get to do anything alone?

I think that when they are part of a single family rather than a blended one, they rarely get to do anything alone.

You are obviously not being unreasonable OP, this can easily be done when he isn't there and is a total non issue.

OP, YANBU. Take DD by yourself if it’s on a day when you normally have DSS and enjoy the photo shoot.

If your DH wants you to include DSS, then get him to pay for another shoot with both children.

Not sure why this is even an issue. With DC2 they had a newborn photo shoot, the same one DC1 had. I took them both and it didn't enter my head that DC1 would feel left out not being involved. It's not a newborn photo shoot if the rest of the family are in the pictures.

I would question why you even have to take DSS if he will need you to entertain him, why is that up to you?