AIBU to just have a photo shoot of one child?

[AnotherAwkwardPost]

For context, this is for DD who is having a newborn photo shoot which I am paying for 100% myself.

I want to have only photos of DD at the session and not DSS as he has already had newborn photos, the session is 4-6 hours so will have to battle to keep DSS entertained and the photographer only does sibling photos at special request for an additional cost, which I have not budgeted for.

AIBU to want this, I am paying for everything at the end of the day.

Making a drama out of nothing. You book the session for when DSS is not there and revel in your footballer’s child style photo shoot experience. voilà. No need for mumsnet energy to be spent on your non-problem.

asofa - people correctly asssume that she was doing it with DSS there

OP wrote -"the session is 4-6 hours so will have to battle to keep DSS entertained "

Now she has a slot during school time - all is resolved - which incidentally is all she needed to do in the first place - instead of creating a drama over nothing.

@NeedsCharging

Are you being serious? I genuinely am glad this is online cause I think if you met me In person you'd start an online hate club for me and my DD

Have a word with yourself you!
You are othering your DSS in my view. That doesn't mean I hate you but the fact you are playing the none existent victim says alot.

You do seem to be seriously invested in attacking the op for some reason. I can see why she's upset by your hounding. I'm a first wife BTW and even I can see she hasn't done a thing wrong here. Leave her alone fgs.

Some blatant bullying here.

@AnkleDeep

Some blatant bullying here.

Of whom, by whom?

Not very blatant to me.

I can’t help but think you are creating an issue over nothing. Why couldn’t you have a shoot where you get some individual photos of each child and then some together? There would still have been plenty of photos of your baby on their own.

@NeedsCharging you sound unhinged. Op is ‘othering’ her dss because she wants them BOTH to have had newborn photo shoots? Give your head a wobble. Othering? Ffs maybe look up the actual meaning of that word and be ashamed of yourself for using it in this context. What a privileged life you must lead. Actually im disgusted by it. But you’re not worth any more of my time.

@Amberflames

I can’t help but think you are creating an issue over nothing. Why couldn’t you have a shoot where you get some individual photos of each child and then some together? There would still have been plenty of photos of your baby on their own.

Why should she? Shouldnt her partner do that? Or can he not possibly be expected to do that because he is a penis owner? Is it your internalised misogyny that says women should organise everything in the family, including with children that are not her own?

@Amberflames

I can’t help but think you are creating an issue over nothing. Why couldn’t you have a shoot where you get some individual photos of each child and then some together? There would still have been plenty of photos of your baby on their own.

Because she's already organised a shoot with someone she wanted to use who specialises in baby photography and charges extra for add on sibling shoots.

And because what she wants is photos of her baby, in the same vein as those that already exist of DSS, for herself and for her family. What you've proposed there is two thirds DSS and of no use for the photos intended purpose.

@FallonCarringtonWannabe I love your username, but I think you're wrong to say the man should do this. Why can't they both organise a photo shoot of their children/stepchildren, if that's the kind of thing they like? Aren't they supposed to be a step/family unit? I'm assuming they are, if they have had a baby together.

Why should she? Shouldnt her partner do that? Or can he not possibly be expected to do that because he is a penis owner? Is it your internalised misogyny that says women should organise everything in the family, including with children that are not her own?

Eh? You sound like a complete man hater.

So OP arranged a photo shoot. Mentioned it to her DH who said it would be nice to get some photos with DSS. Why not tag that on? On what planet would you tell the other person to go away and arrange something separate just because they’re a man and you don’t want them thinking organising things is womens work?

But youre not saying that. He hasnt tried to organise or pay for anything. He hasnt even suggested he organises one or pays for one, or even shares in the cost of this one already organised by op. He wants op to do it. He wants op to cover the cost. Why should she other than she has a uterus?

@tiggerwhocamefortea

The only unreasonable* part is putting your baby through that for 4-6 hours*

Agreed!!!! What a waste of a day!

Come on @Amberflames you're embarrassing yourself now. The lengths you are gojng to to try and explajn why op’s partner cannot possible organise a sibling photo shoot. Seriously. Whats wrong with him? Why do you think he cannot manage that? Op is the mother of a newborn and wants a newborn photo shoot. Why do you think she cannot have one?

I’m sorry I can’t get over 4-6 HOURS!?

@TheQueenOfProcrastination @Amberflames

Why should he be the one to do it - I'll just come out and say it... because he is the one with the actual vested interest in wanting such photos.

It's ok to admit that obvious truth amongst adults.

[quote aSofaNearYou]**@TheQueenOfProcrastination* @Amberflames*

Why should he be the one to do it - I'll just come out and say it... because he is the one with the actual vested interest in wanting such photos.

It's ok to admit that obvious truth amongst adults. [/quote]
BUT BUT BUT HE HAS A PENIS!!!!

You should get your DDs newborn photos on her own. Newborn photos don’t include siblings normally.

When they are a bit older you can do a sibling shoot - we got some lovely autumn ones taken recently. My DH put me off getting newborn photos of my daughter and I really regretted it - retrospectively I wonder if it was because DSD wouldn’t be in them.

@Glitterbaby17

You should get your DDs newborn photos on her own. Newborn photos don’t include siblings normally.

When they are a bit older you can do a sibling shoot - we got some lovely autumn ones taken recently. My DH put me off getting newborn photos of my daughter and I really regretted it - retrospectively I wonder if it was because DSD wouldn’t be in them.

This has just reminded me, on a practical note it does make a lot more sense to take sibling photos a bit later on. I've taken sibling family photos a few times for relatives and when the younger child is a newborn baby, they kind of just look like a potato on the older child's lap, it's an awkward combination to take photos of whilst showing both well before the baby can sit up. Not to mention babies look very different when they're first born to later on, whereas an older child does already have more of a shape of their long term appearance.

It makes so much more sense to do a sibling shoot when the younger sibling is at least one.

I have my reasons for wanting only photos of my DD, I don't want my family walking around the house and seeing no photos of DD and the whole point of the photo shoot was to have pictures of DD to give as gifts to MY family, not DH's family my family! This is my families first grandchild and I want them to have special pictures of her on her own. Sibling photos will come later on, there's plenty of back to school, smash cake photographers who take great sibling photos that I would be interested in but now as a new mother on maternity leave I am choosing to spend my money on my DD.

You do seem to be seriously invested in attacking the op for some reason. I can see why she's upset by your hounding.

I have commented on the thread.
That is not hounding!
Did you attend the same "I am a victim" school as the OP?
Am I only allowed to post a certain number of times?
I disagreed I did not attack.

@FallonCarringtonWannabe

But youre not saying that. He hasnt tried to organise or pay for anything. He hasnt even suggested he organises one or pays for one, or even shares in the cost of this one already organised by op. He wants op to do it. He wants op to cover the cost. Why should she other than she has a uterus?

Rather more to the point, given that the OP and her partner have a baby together: why do they have separate finances? Why aren't they a (step)family?

Rather more to the point, given that the OP and her partner have a baby together: why do they have separate finances? Why aren't they a (step)family?

Lots of people in all manner of families have separate finances.

I don't want my family walking around the house and seeing no photos of DD and the whole point of the photo shoot was to have pictures of DD to give as gifts to MY family, not DH's family my family!

OP is there more to this? Why wouldn’t you want your DH family to have photos of their new grandchild? I can’t help but feel you are setting things up for his family to always see them as different when in their eyes they should be treated the same. And if this is all because you booked and paid for it I find that odd. You’re married. Do you have completely separate finances?

I just can’t imagine organising photos of my kids and only sending them to my parents and not my in laws.

@Amberflames

I don't want my family walking around the house and seeing no photos of DD and the whole point of the photo shoot was to have pictures of DD to give as gifts to MY family, not DH's family my family!

OP is there more to this? Why wouldn’t you want your DH family to have photos of their new grandchild? I can’t help but feel you are setting things up for his family to always see them as different when in their eyes they should be treated the same. And if this is all because you booked and paid for it I find that odd. You’re married. Do you have completely separate finances?

I just can’t imagine organising photos of my kids and only sending them to my parents and not my in laws.

DH's family will get photos too if they would like, my family have specifically asked for them. Of course DP family can get photos!