Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Original poster

DH’s Ex Wife MOVING IN???

189 replies

Bookaholic73 · 17/07/2020 18:47

Oh. My. God.
Seriously..I don’t even know where to start.
Ok, backstory

DH’s kids moved in with us last year, as their Mum moved abroad to be with a man she met online. She’d onlyknown him 3 months.

Things are JUST starting to get good with DH’s kids, they are settled into a routine after a year and a bit, and our (SC and I) relationship is really starting to form.

Today, DSD (14) excitedly says that their Mum told them that she is MOVING IN WITH US!
Apparently things haven’t worked out with her boyfriend abroad, and she gave up her Housing Association house to move abroad, so has nowhere to return to.

Excuse me while I pour a whole bottle of wine into 1 glass.

OP posts:
MrsNoah2020 · 17/07/2020 20:07

@rwalker

Try and make sure you get residency of kids then they can have a stable home . No doubt she will be desperate to get them back then she can claim benefit and get housing. As it stand now she single with no dependents so very little benefits and zero chance of getting a housed .
This. See a solicitor now, before she's back in the UK.
Hollyhobbi · 17/07/2020 20:10

I presume she has no money from working here or abroad? Although she sounds like she wouldn't be capable of holding down any kind of job. The poor children.

MulticolourMophead · 17/07/2020 20:10

@rwalker

Try and make sure you get residency of kids then they can have a stable home . No doubt she will be desperate to get them back then she can claim benefit and get housing. As it stand now she single with no dependents so very little benefits and zero chance of getting a housed .
I agree with this, don't let the kids be used, or they could find themselves at the mercy of a whim again.
caitlinohara · 17/07/2020 20:10

Those poor children. And poor you!
Do what rwalker said Wine

Original poster
Bookaholic73 · 17/07/2020 20:10

Good point about the solicitor, I’ll chat to DH about it.

OP posts:
DoubleTweenQueen · 17/07/2020 20:14

Can see why they divorced. What a deluded and selfish woman. Poor kids. 💐

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 17/07/2020 20:15

Those poor kids - she really doesn’t care how much she fucks with their emotions, does she?

macaroniandpizza · 17/07/2020 20:16

She thinks she can abandon kids then swarm back when it suits aka the new relationship went tits up and thinks her ex husband and now dw will house her.... Hahahahahaha she should be a comedian her comic talent knows no bounds Grin

BobbieDraper · 17/07/2020 20:21

@macaroniandpizza

I very much enjoyed that you used the words 'swarm in' instead of 'swan in' like she is a plague if locusts! Its very apt.

whereistherum · 17/07/2020 20:28

Has she paid child support over the last 3 months?

user1481840227 · 17/07/2020 20:28

Have the kids been told it's not going to happen?

Horrible situation but it's best to tell them as soon as possible so they realise it's not happening.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 17/07/2020 20:30

Her poor kids. How to fuck with their heads... and make you out to be the bad guys. Shocking behaviour. She needs to grow the fuck up and take responsibility for her own behaviour.

VenusTiger · 17/07/2020 20:30

Poor kids OP, they're going to think you and DH are the bad ones in this aren't they? Hope not. Glad your DH has told her to F off - you're lucky there!

19lottie82 · 17/07/2020 20:33

Surely at 14 your DSD should have the common sense to know that this won’t be happening?

diddl · 17/07/2020 20:35

Could she claim housing for herself & her kids even though they are housed?

MrsNoah2020 · 17/07/2020 20:40

@19lottie82

Surely at 14 your DSD should have the common sense to know that this won’t be happening?
Jeez, maybe take a moment to think what it does to a 13 year old to be abandoned by her mother, instead of criticising her lack of common sense Hmm

Abused/neglected kids will cling on to any sign that their parent loves them. It's incredibly sad that the OP's DSD has been manipulated by her mother in this way.

Arthersleep · 17/07/2020 20:41

So, who was this wonderful Romeo that she fell for and swanned off for a new life with? Was he, perchance, a 22 year old 'Turkish Love Rat'? Could she not sell her story to Take a Break for £500 to help towards a rental deposit?

Original poster
Bookaholic73 · 17/07/2020 20:43

@diddl

Could she claim housing for herself & her kids even though they are housed?
I have no clue, we have never claimed for housing.
OP posts:
Arthersleep · 17/07/2020 20:44

That said, could you not let her move in with you, just for a few days so that you could update us hourly and tell us how it's going?

Original poster
Bookaholic73 · 17/07/2020 20:45

Ha, no. He is a Spanish man. Single, lives with his parents and she discovered he has a criminal record for violence and is a drug addict. That’s what she has just told DH on the phone anyway.

To be honest, we never know if we should trust what she says about anything, as she is such a liar.

OP posts:
Dullardmullard · 17/07/2020 20:45

@diddl

Could she claim housing for herself & her kids even though they are housed?
That would be fraud unless she goes through a lawyer for access but not having a fixed abode would make that tricky
ShabbyNat · 17/07/2020 20:45

Have nominated this thread for ClassicsGrinGrin
What a CFShockShock
Those poor kidsSadSad
Also glad that you & DH are on the same pageSmileSmile

notapizzaeater · 17/07/2020 20:46

Those poor children.

I suggest a box of wine, bugger a bottle !

Longdistance · 17/07/2020 20:49

Your dh has a responsibility to his ex wife because she’s the fm of his kids.... errr... no, fuck off love! She can bloody well find somewhere else to live Shock

Hopingtobeamum · 17/07/2020 20:49

And the CF award of the year goes to...drum roll....you've guessed it. Seriously. I'd tell her myself to get fuc@ed.

And I thought my DH's EW had a cheek to book herself a plane ticket to go on holiday with DH and the kids! This CF makes her look like an amateur