DH’s Ex Wife MOVING IN???

[Bookaholic73]

Oh. My. God.
Seriously..I don’t even know where to start.
Ok, backstory

DH’s kids moved in with us last year, as their Mum moved abroad to be with a man she met online. She’d onlyknown him 3 months.

Things are JUST starting to get good with DH’s kids, they are settled into a routine after a year and a bit, and our (SC and I) relationship is really starting to form.

Today, DSD (14) excitedly says that their Mum told them that she is MOVING IN WITH US!
Apparently things haven’t worked out with her boyfriend abroad, and she gave up her Housing Association house to move abroad, so has nowhere to return to.

Excuse me while I pour a whole bottle of wine into 1 glass.

Oh lord @Bookaholic73.
I have followed you since your post regarding the children's sleep issues and once again have to congratulate you on being a brilliant step-parent and partner.
This is, however, going to be another very rocky road/tricky time to negotiate. Expect to be the bad guy, stay as a constant safe presence in their lives, they will (eventually) appreciate this.
Sending you luck, good wishes and a huge vat of wine!

What a cheeky f'er!
I know I'll get flamed for this, but the entitlement I've seen from some ex wives on here lately, as well as in my own personal experience takes the piss.

There seems to be a huge collective mentality that an ex wife can do what she wants when she wants and she is entitled to have her hearts desire at all times purely because she has children with her ex. Its vile.

The attitude is that ex husband should do whatever/pay whatever he is told as she gave him kids.

Now, I'm honestly not a raging feminist but what happened to standing on your own two feet and getting things for yourself, rather than expecting your EX to provide them?!

I wouldnt dream of asking some of the cheeky stuff I've seen ex wife's DEMAND.

There was a perfect one on here yesterday where a woman was bored in her marriage and wanted a divorce. She wanted to keep her nice big house but couldn't afford to as she works part time but also felt she shouldn't need to work full time and her soon to be ex should just give her his portion of the house and go. Just like that.

Batshit.

I'm very confused about your situation. I just looked at some of your other threads and in some you say you have two DC (15 and 19 with the 19yo having special needs) and in another you have one 17yo. Then your partner goes from having 2 DC to 3 DC. How many children are there in your blended family?

Carandi. Seriously? How is that in any way relevant?

I don't always tell the exact truth about my family situation because some things are extremely identifiable, and I want to retain anonymity without buggering about with my user name all the time.

If you have suspicions - report and let the team investigate. If you just don't believe an OP why engage with the thread at all?

How old are the SC?

She gets my vote for CF of the year

It is possible to hide information by using another username. You don't have to be buggering about with changing it all the time.

As long as you've used a username at least once, and it's in your username history, then when you write your post, you will see a box labelled "username" above the message box where you type your post. Simply type the other username into that box, and when you post, it will show under that other user name. No faffing about with profile required.

You're fucking kiddin' me, right??
This has to be a joke!
ahahaahahhahahahha

@Carandi I often slightly alter ages of my kids or other none essential details to a story on here just in case it links too easily to my other threads. If you advanced searched me I'm sure there's discrepancies. I think a lot of people do that

I know this isn’t a really viable option but in order to keep things reasonably calm, could she stay with you for a limited time to build a relationship with her children and give her a chance to get housing?
It’s not ideal, it’s not something everyone could do but she is their mum and you might risk fracturing a tender relationship if she was to twist things with the children.
What are her expectations exactly? Is she expecting to use the children to hopefully get some social housing, is she financially ok or will she need to apply for benefits?.
I’d just be a bit worried that without some support from your home she may we’ll see the children to get housing and benefits and being as flakey as she sounds to be as soon as an offer that takes her fancy comes up you’ll be back to this again.

For the stability of the relationship you’ve built with the children it may be worthwhile actually helping her albeit through gritted teeth.

@dippydeedoo I see where you're coming from and some support might be a good idea but I feel like her moving in is really unfair on the kids. It might cause some mixed feelings for them with her suddenly turning up and they deserve a secure stable space to work through those feelings with a bit of space

Fantastic, sits down with popcorn

@jellybean85 it's unfair on OP too!!

@dippydeedoo. surely you’re joking about the ex moving in for a short while?

@Frankola totally agree. Did you see the one not so long ago from the ex wife who was stopping the kids seeing their dad 50 50 which they all wanted, which meant he would not be paying CMS, yet she refused to get a job, even part time, because "When would I do the food shop?"

These types of women embarrass me.