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Step-parenting

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Original poster

DH’s Ex Wife MOVING IN???

189 replies

Bookaholic73 · 17/07/2020 18:47

Oh. My. God.
Seriously..I don’t even know where to start.
Ok, backstory

DH’s kids moved in with us last year, as their Mum moved abroad to be with a man she met online. She’d onlyknown him 3 months.

Things are JUST starting to get good with DH’s kids, they are settled into a routine after a year and a bit, and our (SC and I) relationship is really starting to form.

Today, DSD (14) excitedly says that their Mum told them that she is MOVING IN WITH US!
Apparently things haven’t worked out with her boyfriend abroad, and she gave up her Housing Association house to move abroad, so has nowhere to return to.

Excuse me while I pour a whole bottle of wine into 1 glass.

OP posts:
Celestine70 · 18/07/2020 19:49

She will try and get the kids back to be housed. I suggest a solicitor.

Commonwasher · 18/07/2020 20:12

Nothing to add but Flowers and Wine to you OP.

You couldn’t write it. Those poor kids, sounds like you have welcomed them, given them a loving home and stability when their mother went off and now, having established some normality for them she is coming back...

It would take all my self control not to cough incessantly down the phone as you tell her it’s a non starter anyway but since you think you might have coronavirus you’re shielding for the next 12-15 weeks.

You time line up your ducks (solicitors) and her to find somewhere else to live.

Ps: if either of your DSC are primary aged there is a Jacqueline Wilson book about a girl who’s mum just leaves one day and how she and her Dad make a new life for themselves which continues even when the mum randomly reappears a year later. Called Rent a Bridesmaid. Is very heartwarming.

Ispywithmycynicaleye · 18/07/2020 20:13

How did the call end OP? Is she moving in????

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 18/07/2020 20:31

Please get proper legal advice...

Why in earth does she think you owe her... When she has made no effort with HER KIDS...

Spinningdot · 18/07/2020 21:32

Echoing all those that said 'poor kids'.
OP your DSD may be looking forward to seeing her mum but she will sooner or later start to see her for who she is. I was the age of your DSD when I started to see through the behaviour of my dad. Before then he could have done no wrong in my eyes. She'll be lucky to have a relationship with her kids when they're older & this has the potential to affect them very seriously.
What a selfish asshole.

Lovely13 · 18/07/2020 21:33

She must have some relative or friend to stay with rather than with you. Understand it’s complicated with the children. But it’s not on. Would make a great book though!

Tistheseason17 · 18/07/2020 21:49

Proper CF!!

FelicisNox · 18/07/2020 22:16

Wow. Just wow.

Original poster
Bookaholic73 · 18/07/2020 22:17

Thanks everyone.

Contrary to popular belief, this isn’t a wind up.

How did it end? With DH telling her to think again! There is no way DH or I would let that happen.

She doesn’t have any family nearby, apart from her mum. Her mum has washed her hands of her, after she stole from her.

OP posts:
Itsjustabitofbanter · 18/07/2020 23:29

Ignore the idiots op. Thank god you and your oh are on the same page. I thought at first this was something he had agreed to. Hopefully the dc understand why you’ve said no

riceuten · 18/07/2020 23:56

Are you sure this is not just wishful thinking by the stepchildren ?

supersop60 · 19/07/2020 00:01

Even her own mum doesn't want her!
Please don't let her in your house, OP.
Wine

Baxterbear · 19/07/2020 00:51

Oh HELL no! If she really is serious about moving in with you guys (the CF) then simply tell her that her moving in isn't possible due to the current health crisis and how if she truly loves her children then she wouldn't put their health at risk. Remind her that she should be self isolating and be in self imposed quarantine. She sounds an absolute narcissist who thinks the world revolves around her! Thank god your hubby is refusing to be emotionally blackmailed by the "I'm the mother of your children" card too!!

AmIbeingTreasonable · 19/07/2020 05:12

W.T.A F 😱😱😱😱😱

pinksunday · 19/07/2020 09:57

What a nutter

user1471590586 · 19/07/2020 10:58

I agree with others about getting a solicitor. Also I think you should ring social services for advice as their mother sounds unfit to look after them.

wobblywindows · 19/07/2020 12:25

Would child benefit for these go to your DH now? I'm just thinking if she still gets it she might claim she still has them. She'll probably end up in a room somewhere. I'm pleased for the children, at least they know their mum is still alive, and they've been able to see how a more normal family/ household functions. Best wishes.

SmudgeButt · 19/07/2020 13:27

I love posts that make my life look quite blissful.

SmudgeButt · 19/07/2020 13:32

thinking more on this - I bet DSD as a young teen might think the whole swanning off to someplace foreign as dreadfully romantic. And I get that the kids might miss her now that they've got into a stable home and got over being abandoned.

But still no.

Angiemum24 · 19/07/2020 13:38

R/entitledparents
R/choosing baggers

Namechangex10000 · 19/07/2020 13:38

The entitlement is hilarious, how deluded can anybody be!!!

However it depends on your relationship as to wether it would be acceptable, obviously in yours it isn’t! I’d offer for my dps ex wife to stay with us if she needed to but we get on!

FattyBoom · 19/07/2020 13:42

@Baxterbear

Oh HELL no! If she really is serious about moving in with you guys (the CF) then simply tell her that her moving in isn't possible due to the current health crisis and how if she truly loves her children then she wouldn't put their health at risk. Remind her that she should be self isolating and be in self imposed quarantine. She sounds an absolute narcissist who thinks the world revolves around her! Thank god your hubby is refusing to be emotionally blackmailed by the "I'm the mother of your children" card too!!
Why do people feel it necessary to have a 'reason' that she can't move in?? Surely, 'no that isn't going to happen, don't be so bloody ridiculous' is a perfectly appropriate answer here
Mombie2016 · 19/07/2020 18:32

OP, please get a residency order in place now. There are huge back logs, but I imagine this can be done Ex Parte and swiftly over the phone.

Angiemum24 · 20/07/2020 14:01

R/ChoosingBeggers sorry autocorrect ^^
|||||||||

Destroyedpeople · 20/07/2020 14:05

Well she will have to move into one of those cheap hotels and claim benefits. Cheeky woman.