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Original poster

DH’s Ex Wife MOVING IN???

189 replies

Bookaholic73 · 17/07/2020 18:47

Oh. My. God.
Seriously..I don’t even know where to start.
Ok, backstory

DH’s kids moved in with us last year, as their Mum moved abroad to be with a man she met online. She’d onlyknown him 3 months.

Things are JUST starting to get good with DH’s kids, they are settled into a routine after a year and a bit, and our (SC and I) relationship is really starting to form.

Today, DSD (14) excitedly says that their Mum told them that she is MOVING IN WITH US!
Apparently things haven’t worked out with her boyfriend abroad, and she gave up her Housing Association house to move abroad, so has nowhere to return to.

Excuse me while I pour a whole bottle of wine into 1 glass.

OP posts:
DirtyStinkinBass · 17/07/2020 22:00

What the fuck! That's a CF right there

frazzledasarock · 17/07/2020 22:05

Must say you’re dealing with this with a great sense of humour.

I’d be livid. And very worried the DC would let her in the house and she’d make herself at home. She sounds so so entitled. Who even behaves likes this?

caringcarer · 17/07/2020 22:27

If she walked out and abandoned her children she should have no rights. She certainly will not be able to decide to move into your home. I think I would see a solicitor to check if she could only see children under supervision if she tells them ludicrious things like this.

Redcrayons · 17/07/2020 22:28

This sounds like the start of a sitcom, by the end of the series you’ll be besties.

Do you need a pint of vodka chaser for your wine?

thequeenoftarts · 17/07/2020 22:29

Depends does he want you in his bed or her, does he want to sleep comfortably ever again lol tell him I said be very careful with his answer lol, wrong answers can get ya killed

NudgeUnit · 18/07/2020 01:10

Get on to Rightmove to see what is available to rent in your area

Or maybe some other area far far away...

overweightcat · 18/07/2020 09:54

Second PPs hotfoot it to the solicitors to make sure she won't be dragging the kids away again no doubt in hopes of receiving benefits and housing rather than being the doting mum considering her dropping them like hot potatoes at your doorstep a mere few months ago.

She sounds a bit horrid to be honest.

PheasantPlucker1 · 18/07/2020 10:07

What an immense CF Grin

But honestly, I dont think you shoukd be engaging with her at all about this.

She will not be moving in. Thats it, convo over. Dont let her make it your or your DHs problem where she is going to live.

(Although I kinda want her to move in for the sequal threads, sorry op)

RedRumTheHorse · 18/07/2020 10:36

Make sure your DH tells her in writing to stay away from your house. Then if she pulls any tricks it should make it easier to sort her out.

Oh and get to a solicitor. A 14 year old who doesn't understand that their mum's behave is abnormal needs protecting as well as the younger kids.

MellowBird85 · 18/07/2020 11:58

Haven’t read the full thread so this may already have been said but I can’t believe some posters are saying “ok fair enough, if she’d have ASKED to move in” or “well if it’s just until she sorts her own place”!

WTF! It never ceases to amaze me what MN will fucking normalise. Ex wife moving in 😂😂😂

SunshineCake · 18/07/2020 12:22

@MellowBird85

Haven’t read the full thread so this may already have been said but I can’t believe some posters are saying “ok fair enough, if she’d have ASKED to move in” or “well if it’s just until she sorts her own place”!

WTF! It never ceases to amaze me what MN will fucking normalise. Ex wife moving in 😂😂😂

Or, maybe people are just generally kind and want to try and help someone they used to love, is their children's mother, a fellow human in need.
bogoffmda · 18/07/2020 13:47

OMG beats my EX - he just put OW in my old flat we rented out when we got together and I was paying all the bills as he told me we had no tenant!!!

Seriously she is in cloud cuckoo land.

MellowBird85 · 18/07/2020 14:33

Or, maybe people are just generally kind and want to try and help someone they used to love, is their children's mother, a fellow human in need.

Nah, I’m not buying the the golden uterus line. Just cos you had kids with someone doesn’t mean they have an ongoing responsibility towards you. That ended when the relationship did. It’s all well and good having bottomless empathy but, frankly, there comes a point where you may as well get “mug” tattooed on your forehead.

SunshineCake · 18/07/2020 15:28

Your choice, Mellow(ha). She's behaved badly but that doesn't mean she couldn't use help.

NorthernSpirit · 18/07/2020 15:37

@MellowBird85 brilliantly put! Totally agree.

God some people are completely batshit in their expectations.

SonEtLumiere · 18/07/2020 15:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kazzer2867 · 18/07/2020 16:10

Or, maybe people are just generally kind and want to try and help someone they used to love, is their children's mother, a fellow human in need.

Who also abandoned her children over a year ago (for a man she'd met online 3 months previously) and in that time has only contacted them twice (the last time being to tell them she's moving in with her ex-husband and his wife). She didn't/hasn't thought of the needs of her children in all that time.

@MellowBird85 has summed it up perfectly.

ToftyAC · 18/07/2020 17:54

Wow! Just that really.... wow! People never cease to amaze.

MommyR · 18/07/2020 17:55

I totally agree with speaking to a solicitor and maybe sorting something out like an injunction order that can stop her from coming to your house or within so many yards of your home. Then something in place where she has to see her children at a safe place with a family support worker and yourself and or DH that way if she doesn’t comply all contact will be struck off! She doesn’t deserve to simply re enter the children’s lives as and when she feels like it. Smile

Mix56 · 18/07/2020 18:18

Good grief, has she also being doing drugs with Don Juan ?
Your H owes her nothing, he is already taking care of the DC.
He needs to make sure that she cannot kidnap take them back.
Especially if the oldest is happy about her return.

CucumberTree · 18/07/2020 18:20

The poor kids to be abandoned like that and her drop contact for a man. OP, please don’t take their excitement as anything against the relationship you have with them and the work you’ve done with them. They will just naturally want to see her even if they have mixed feelings.

If she left them and had no contact hopefully they get to stay with you.

SunshineCake · 18/07/2020 18:28

TAOR

Choccylips · 18/07/2020 18:37

If she has parents or siblings they should be her first go to. I think this is going to become very difficult for you all, I imagine she will want her children back so she can get social housing.

Arthersleep · 18/07/2020 18:41

So, she met a foreign man online that still lived with his parents?! Then moved over there to be with him. I mean, it was never going to end well was it?!

HogDogKetchup · 18/07/2020 18:46

So your DH has a responsibility to both her and the kids? Yet she has a responsibility to neither?

I wouldn’t do anything to assist in anyway. Sounds like a car crash and who wants to be a passenger?