DH’s Ex Wife MOVING IN???

[Bookaholic73]

Oh. My. God.
Seriously..I don’t even know where to start.
Ok, backstory

DH’s kids moved in with us last year, as their Mum moved abroad to be with a man she met online. She’d onlyknown him 3 months.

Things are JUST starting to get good with DH’s kids, they are settled into a routine after a year and a bit, and our (SC and I) relationship is really starting to form.

Today, DSD (14) excitedly says that their Mum told them that she is MOVING IN WITH US!
Apparently things haven’t worked out with her boyfriend abroad, and she gave up her Housing Association house to move abroad, so has nowhere to return to.

Excuse me while I pour a whole bottle of wine into 1 glass.

Try and make sure you get residency of kids then they can have a stable home . No doubt she will be desperate to get them back then she can claim benefit and get housing.
As it stand now she single with no dependents so very little benefits and zero chance of getting a housed .

She's contacted her kids twice in over a year??

Hilarious that your DH has a responsibility to house her because they had kids together, yet she takes no responsibility for the actual kids?!

What age are the SC? Hopefully old enough to have the record set straight for them.

I guess it’s so utterly batshit that you can’t help but laugh. Clearly that’s never going to happen, and no one owes her anything.

Your poor DSC though. What a crappy mother.

Eek. I think the children will be upset when they realise it’s not going to happen. Don’t let her dictate the narrative, or you’ll end up the bad guy. I’d try and sort out custody more formally, she sounds incredibly irresponsible. Poor kids.

I’m absolutely in love with the brass neck on this woman 😂
Like in what reality does she see this as ok.

What a loon!! She surely can’t be serious?

Hell to the no!

You've gotta admire a trier

What about her parents?

I think this has to be my favourite mn thread ever. Wow. The good thing is, you'll get a lot of mileage out of laughing about this

It's a NO from me

Hilarious that your DH has a responsibility to house her because they had kids together, yet she takes no responsibility for the actual kids?!

Excellent point

Thank god your DH didn’t see it as an option; I was worried from your title that he has agreed to it

dons hard hat

No, I wouldn't let her move in.

However, it doesn't sound like this woman is in a good place. She abandoned her kids for a man she met online and is now homeless. The fact that the only person she thinks she can rely upon is her ex is quite sad. I presume she has no family, friends, etc.?

I would tell her no, politely, but firmly. However, I would offer to phone the council on her behalf to facilitate her move back to the area.

It sounds like she needs a friend right now. That doesn't have to be you, but you could help her even just a little bit.

There will be a family member of hers/ friend she can foist herself on - stick to no.

Bloomin sneaky of her to conduct the "negotiations" via the eldest DS!! Making you and DH the bad guys.

She is a CF of the highest order!

In fairness, I can see her thinking and the logic behind this. After all, she abandoned her children for someone she met online and had known for three months so the sort of person who thinks that’s ok is also the sort of person who thinks their ex-partners (along with everyone else in the world) should be inconveniencing themselves for their benefit!

OP, I have a 2.5 pint glass which I think you’ll be needing for your wine!

I have seen this (attempted) twice once with a friend's ex DJ and another acquaintance who did that same thing selling everything, disappearing and then trying to swan back - both cases told the DC to try to get as a fait accompli.
At least you have warning -friend arrived home from work and exdh had got the kids to let him in .
Your DH has to put the kids straight and tell them no she is not moving n.
And contact her in writing to put her straight too.

I do love ex wife's like this, we have children together or we were married..... so you have to support, pick up the pieces and generally jump to their tune.

My partner has one of these, CF

I absolutely hate women like this and think they shuld be forcibly sterilised.
Dumping her kids for some absolute loser. WTAF!

So she's been gone for almost more than 7 months (if she left last year) and has only called her kids twice (including today)?!? And she has decided she is moving in with you all?
I dont understand why a 14 year old would be happy with that; arent the kids furious with her?

She is just going to have to present as homeless to her chosen council when she returns. Seriously... dont let her in!!!

Moving in, or staying for a while until a rental is ready?

Ah, that's a point. She probably just meant staying for a while - much more reasonable

She gives sole responsibility of the dc to your dh, and has now allocated sole responsibility if her to him as well.

I think I would have to laugh, if not I would cry. So bloody cheeky, and very manipulative to tell you what's happening in your house via the kids.

Well just when the DSC were coming to terms with everting and life was on the up 😳

I'll pass you a case of wine. Thank f*ck DH is on the same page!