DH’s Ex Wife MOVING IN???

[Bookaholic73]

Oh. My. God.
Seriously..I don’t even know where to start.
Ok, backstory

DH’s kids moved in with us last year, as their Mum moved abroad to be with a man she met online. She’d onlyknown him 3 months.

Things are JUST starting to get good with DH’s kids, they are settled into a routine after a year and a bit, and our (SC and I) relationship is really starting to form.

Today, DSD (14) excitedly says that their Mum told them that she is MOVING IN WITH US!
Apparently things haven’t worked out with her boyfriend abroad, and she gave up her Housing Association house to move abroad, so has nowhere to return to.

Excuse me while I pour a whole bottle of wine into 1 glass.

Tell her to stay in a hotel/with family, or come up with a nice rent amount!

Top MN thread, but omg those poor children. Tragic really that DSD is so thrilled at the thought. Appalling that your DH is going to end up being painted as the bad guy for not letting it happen, after stepping up for the kids when she flaked out. Full marks to @TBHno for being more grown up than all of us. Good luck, OP, stormy waters ahead.

Full custody isn't a thing anymore is it?

Doesn't the fact that she effectively abandoned them mean anything?

Well, he has a duty to house his kids, which he is doing.

Their mother as well?

I don't think so!

Sounds as if the kids will be pleased to live with her see her though.

Your poor SC, what a horrible thing she did abandoning them like that. I seriously can't believe she thinks you and your DH would be fine with her moving in though!!! She's bat shit crazy.

I would tell her no, politely, but firmly. However, I would offer to phone the council on her behalf to facilitate her move back to the area.

The council won't do anything to assist her. She lives abroad and has done for over a year. The council have enough to do dealing with people who live in their area.

I wouldn't mind helping her. Maybe drop a big cardboard box off at whatever doorway she ends up in sleeping in?

Disgraceful to go through her child. Poor things!
I hope you both manage to explain why she can’t stay to the children in a way they can accept.
Unfuckingbelievable!

"Tragic really that DSD is so thrilled at the thought. Appalling that your DH is going to end up being painted as the bad guy for not letting it happen,"

Yeah-it's shit, isn't it?

If there's not enough room-hope that the step daughter doesn't offer to share hers!

Well this is too funny

Bloody Nora. Well she can get to fuck, can’t she.

I would be making sure this woman is kept well away from your home. She sounds totally unhinged.

She's crazy to suggest such a thing and shouldn't be allowed to emotionally abuse her children in this way. After abandoning them for months, she's now trying to use them to put a roof over her worthless head! What an utter bitch!

As an aside, I'm somewhat surprised the 14-year-old is excited at the prospect of her horrible mother moving in. At that age, I'd expect that she would understand that she'd been abandoned and rightfully resent her mother for it. She's much more forgiving than I think I'd have been, under those circumstances.

That's bonkers!!!

She effectively abandoned her children. And then comes back and demands to live with you. Absolutely wrong in so many levels.

Oh gosh! Firstly well done for stepping up and loving your step kids. It’s what we all hope we would do, but you’ve had to deal with kids/teens in absolute grief and abandonment. That can’t have been easy. So hats off.
Secondly, don’t under any circumstances give her any kind of custody voluntarily. Access/visits /- yes. But she has to go to court and explain how she came to have no home and limited contact with the kids. She isn’t behaving like a trustworthy parent and you’ll be left to pick up the pieces.
Honestly, I would be really, really kind and really, really honest about her to the kids. Something like “your mum loves you very much but she finds doesn’t always make decision that put you first. She’ll always be your mum and you’ll always love each other. But dad and I want you to know that whatever happens with your mum, you have a home here. Your mum is going to have to find her home now and that might be tricky for her. But you are safe and loved here”.

She's got to win the award for the most hilarious CF on MN. 🤣🤣🤣

Er, no.

Good to see your husband is on side. Make sure you keep him there, 💕

Yeah right... well that wouldn't be happening would it?

What was the result of the phone call

OMG you need more

Just use a straw, don't bother with a glass.

Thanks everyone.
I think the kids are just so excited to see their Mum, they are desperate to see her and don’t think much about her abandoning them.

We won’t be helping her get housed, or anything else for that matter. She has caused us (and the kids, hers and mine) no end of problems.
She has told me that her and my DH had an affair for 6 months, which I know isn’t true.
She turned up at DHs work to tell him I was shagging a male friend the night before..the friend and my DH were together at the pub at that alleged time of us shagging.

God, you just couldn’t make it up could you.

This is up there as insane. She needs a straitjacket.

I think this is the most CF thing I have ever read on here. Poor kids.