what do you imagine I look like...

[fruitshootsandheaves]

what image do my name and my useless advice posts conjure up?

I like this game, do me, do me

snort @ gusset you have a gift!!

LOL at being anything like the phelps swimmer bloke...

international flight

"Sometimes she'll buy a box of coco-pops just for herself and hide it from the children."

Does chocoloate covered rice crispie sweets count???

Reality...you are so right

about everything!!!

Fruitshoots, I wish!

Gah! These pesky DPs...I will tune in later to be fascinated and appalled in equal measure

Reality, you have a gift

< genuflects >

I imagine AnyFucker to be willowy, blonde and has great dress stylee.

She also pretends to be very hard on the outside, but really she is a softee. She has 1 child.

willowy, tick (read, skinny)

blonde, tick (in my younger days, now mousy with toffee colour thanks to Garnier Nutrisse)

great dress stylee, tick (am not denying that one )

hard, nah

1+1 kids

ooo can someone do me please

rofl here!!

In your younger days AF - I thought you were about 30 (take it you are older than that then?)

bellavita

fab cake-maker

fab maker-of-little-boys

she is 4 ft 9

she has purple curly hair in a bun on top of her head

she wears glasses like jam-jar bottoms

her arms sweep the floor when she walks

her boobs sit on her knees

noooo, I have checked, bellavita is a very glamorous blonde !!

I think Anyfucker is Slim, short hair, confident, no nonsense.

Now me please?

My boobs do sit on my knees AF

Ahem - I am 5ft!

You are norty for peeking!

norks, you have me

norks

you are a little bit shy, you have fine curly hair that goes frizzy in the rain, you are a bit of a "soft touch" to your children, you have lovely blue eyes and a cute button nose

close?

Realityismydelusion cleverly disguises herself as a responsible person

She manages a small factory of ladies who pluck chickens, she flows though the aisles of the chicken pluckers carefuly scrutinising them for stray feathers, wo-be-tied anyone who doesnt pluck them chickens down to their bear essentails

every so often she pops into her office and swigs sherry from a bottle in her desk draw, she never looks drunk

She shops at Aldi, takes her time unloading the shoping from car-to-house to make sure the neigbours see the waitrose bags she puts it in

When alone she play the wii fit in her underwear then sniffs the crotch of her pants before she jumps in the shower

norksin - Hattie Jaques matron style sort of gal. Likes to mother people and has loads and loads of patience with the children.

bella. I am waaaaaay over 30

Oooh Do Me! Do Me! Do Me!

sparklingsarah

she has flashing dark eyes and a quick temper, her hair is black and poker straight, she can kill you with one squeeze of the throat and break your kneecap with one kick

close?

You all have names that could be names of racehorses, 'cept VinegarTits and AnyFucker obv. So you all probably look like racehorses too.

Norksinmywaistband grew up on the wrong side of the tracks but was fiercely intelligent at school, and teased remorselessly for it. She was almost expelled for a prank that went horribly wrong which she was trying to impress the other kids with - the teacher retired on health grounds at the end of that school year.

She didn't go to Uni because she got together with a young guitarist when she was eighteen and spent most afternoons smoking pot until a rich playboy spotted her on a rare night out at a cousin's hen night, and whisked her off her feet.

Sadly he went missing owing the government a lot of money, and she drifted back home to the guitarist who had by now built a solid if unexciting career in an electronics superstore chain. They have 3 children and he still thinks of her as his rockchick and they are madly in love.

rofl at Pan