MNet Newbie Guide - what would be your top piece advice on Mumsnet etiquette?

[JustineMumsnet]

We wanted to put together a humourous yet telling guide for Mumsnet newbies, full of practical advice on how to get along in Mumsnet land.

You know the type of things...

Opening posts/ nicknames/ topics to avoid until you get the hang of it. Or don't post on AIBU if you don't want to hear that you are? Or please don't use textspeak/do use punctuation and paragraphs/ don't call people Hun.

Many many thanks. We'll bung it altogether one day soon.

Thank you in advance oh kind and good Mumsnetters.

Never, ever write a post USING ALL CAPITALS

dont start a post like this
" I really am cross today, the cleaner is so annoying and I don't work and all I have done is watch tv" "

then everyone comes on and slags you off

then they say

" oh but I am a wheelchair user and I can;t get around"

ie put ALL the info in.

missing an 'of' in your title

which leads me to my point, which would be "preview all posts to appease the pedants"

and don't sign your posts off with your posting name

lots of love rubyslippers

xxx

oh yes Karl, AIBU by stealth ... not good

Never admit you give your children fruit shoots and greggs sausage rolls.

M&T parking is a privilege not a right.

Yes, eating grapes at the supermarket is stealing.

No text speak either

Yes to all that Justine plus :

Please don't drag grievances around the board; challenge then and there, no threads about threads please.

Oh, and don't revive dead threads unless you want my wrath upon your head

NO NO NO tamarto - real advice.
not just yawnsome greggs "gags"

Agree - no capitals as you feel shouted at.

Minimum hugs.

No huns.

No 'f' words in thread titles.

Use paragraphs if you want people to read your whole thread.

Try and use a name that defines you rather than ReubensMum or DannysMum as it is a bit - bleurgh!!

When you write your first post be more specific on the title than "help needed please"...

Not that I did that on my first post or anything

don't panic about the abbreviations - soon dh and dd and ds will be so familiar you'll be using them in RL (that's real life btw)

oh don't give yourself a wanky name.
I saw one on here called "lovetochat"
Dont call your kids LOS.
It makes then sound like a maricachi band.

Try to use paragraphs, even if you feel you are trying to say it all in one breath before you lose your nerve.

Definitely DON'T SHOUT!

AIBU could just as easily be called "No Holds Barred" - don't expect people to provide gentle sympathy, you will get their uneditted opinion.

If you have asked a question, and had replies, don't then come back on and say "bump" or "anyone else" without saying "thank you" first, even if they haven't completely answered your question, or you still want other opinions.

please please please no text type like

l8r etc

I don't mind lol and some abbreviations but I seem to hate ones that are there through sheer laziness

Links and smleys don't work in thread titles

Some topics have been done to death on here -if you are unlucky to inadvertently make one the subject of your lovingly crafted first post please don't be put off if you're ignored or flamed. We're not bored with you (yet) but we are bored of the subject.

The pedants will get you if you're a bit random with your apostrohes

no being boring and knocking Boden - it's too easy
The use of 'tis is rather sweet and MNettish
hugs are permitted but not to be overused - I think they are appropriate in Bereavement threads

Use the 'search for messages' option before you ask a question that you think may have been asked before.
"how to get my baby into a sleeping routine" anyone?

mariachi band v good

Expect to be ignored!

develop a thicker skin and say goodbye to life as you knew it

PLEASE do NOT be common. I think there is a special quarantine room to sort this out.

do not use the following words:
Blaze
Nan
dp ( oh get married fgs)
Lo
or any other

Oh that is just me.

I really don't like c*t in any thread titles

No Mummy3884949458 names

Don't be surprised if you get a flaming and don't let it stop you posting. MNetters can be a bit forthright at times. Get over it and jump back in.

Use paragraphs otherwise noone will read your fascinating posts.

Don't put "lol" at the end of every sentence.

No xxxx kisses

STOP using
those things all the time.
they are to be rationed

If you are going to post on AIBU then develop a thick skin, extremely quickly.

Don't be offended if you aren't immediately in the so called "clique," like making friends everywhere else, it takes time!