MNet Newbie Guide - what would be your top piece advice on Mumsnet etiquette?

[JustineMumsnet]

We wanted to put together a humourous yet telling guide for Mumsnet newbies, full of practical advice on how to get along in Mumsnet land.

You know the type of things...

Opening posts/ nicknames/ topics to avoid until you get the hang of it. Or don't post on AIBU if you don't want to hear that you are? Or please don't use textspeak/do use punctuation and paragraphs/ don't call people Hun.

Many many thanks. We'll bung it altogether one day soon.

Thank you in advance oh kind and good Mumsnetters.

MOre of a tip than etiquette:

Don't forget the search engine. VERY useful for getting info and advice

I'm a newbie and would def say lurk for ages! 'tis terrifying otherwise

In fact it's flipping terrifying anyway .

Glad I'm getting involved though - am loving it!

You are doing fine, Lindenlass, totally fine.

thank you!

Don't go to page 11 of a thread and start posting without at least skimming the last 11 pages. The conversation might have changed/moved on/OP might have given more details...

OF course, I've just ignored my own advice!

Don't start threads with "Please do not post on this thread"

and if you do start threads with "please do not post on this thread" do not laugh at all the oldies established posters who can't post on it after it goes over 1000 posts. Sooner or later they'll be told figure out how to do it and come to get ye!

squonk, wasn't me who laughed, honest,

we weren't laughing! and we DID tell you how - you can't do it unless you have pages. Trouble is if you're so hidebound traditional that you have to use MN classic, then that's not our fault, now is it!

See (don't do this) no one has explained mumsnet classic to me.. 3 pages on!!!

abc xx

Learn the difference between "loose" and "lose".

Don't start a secret breakaway forum then get all upset if people don't like it.

Don't say "would of"

Don't get upset if people think you're bonkers to want to call your child Baguette because you think it sounds nice.

Don't complain about not being able to manage on £100,000 a year.

Don't tell people that they "aren't trying hard enough to succeed" if they take lower paid vocational jobs

Don't tell people that if they "care enough" about their child's education they will go private.

Don't think you are coming over less judgemental by adding the caveat "...for my family" to "I think it is the right thing...".

Pay attention to the topic as well as the thread title.

What others have said about the SN boards also holds true for the more frivolous boards. So e.g. there's no point in coming on to the sleb twaddle board if all you want to say is "why do you care about Victoria Beckham's breasts?" or onto S&B and saying "if you care about what you look like, you are a sad shallow husk with no understanding of the real issues in life".

Don't tell women working for the minimum wage that they should stop doing that and get a high paid job.

Don't start a thread statin all benefits claimants are scroungers and be amazed wheb 25 carers / disable people shout foul that they didn't automatically assume you included them.

Don't assume your sister / sil / teacher / neighbour isn't on here.

Hecate

Reg? Me? nah i'm never here

peachy who?

ooh i can't wait to see it so i can get some tips.

i dont want to offend anyone, i am new here after all

yeah who are you mamazon?

have you passed newbie tet yet?

at least you're not tha chiopmonkey she reeks

whats the test? does it involve buying boden> if so then i shall have failed...can't stand teh stuff!

Gawd no Boden is rank. Truly rank.

I suspect it's knowing how to [pronoince Quinoa LOL, or owning a wanky basket (guilty to hoth but in my defence my sister was touting them as treasure baskets back when I was 19 in 1992!)