MNet Newbie Guide - what would be your top piece advice on Mumsnet etiquette?

[JustineMumsnet]

We wanted to put together a humourous yet telling guide for Mumsnet newbies, full of practical advice on how to get along in Mumsnet land.

You know the type of things...

Opening posts/ nicknames/ topics to avoid until you get the hang of it. Or don't post on AIBU if you don't want to hear that you are? Or please don't use textspeak/do use punctuation and paragraphs/ don't call people Hun.

Many many thanks. We'll bung it altogether one day soon.

Thank you in advance oh kind and good Mumsnetters.

if puzzlerocks doesnt bump your post then the sky is falling in.

lurk for a while to get to know the forum itself.

just jump right in and answer a thread , or start one, but don't expect to be hugged and hunned just becuase you are new

don;t start threads about established MNers being head girl types. or cliques . or how they get away with stuff. or that newbies are ignored.

don't ever complain about lack of mother and child parking spaces, tehy are a privilege not a right!

buy yourself a hard hat and some microwave popcorn before you register

be nice to lulu, she'll see you right!

Avoid names with "Mum" in them, as they get slated....

If it all goes hideously wrong and you really feel you got off on the wrong foot, there's always tomorrow and a new posting name - some people change all the time - more than once a day even - imagine that!!!

LMAO really they are not, but it is a valid piece of advice for those not in the know, especially if they have never used any type of forum.

Did i not use the emotes well enough for you?

please remember that although there are MN experts e.g. Mars/Lulu/tiktok/flowerybeanbag etc etc

they are here as part of an online forum and give you the benefit of their expertise out of goodness

i.e. any good advice given is done so in good faith - if it works great, if it doesn't work ask again or please move on and try something else but don't bang on about it please

too much use of 'please' in that post

oh and learn how to do links - its not hard and you will not be shot if they don't work first few times

but i am allowed to be lulumama

i am so very special though.

notwaving - this is true - I have loved my anonymity after name changing. Although Lulu can be identify me by my sequinned tracksuit.

Don't start any overemotional rants about hideous cruelty cases, saying 'hanging is too good for them' etc etc, you will be seriously flamed.

Extra emphasis should be given to the newbies of the joys of the 'Hide a thread' or 'Hide a topic' facilities ...

Don't type anything you wouldn't say to anyone in real life ...

Lessons in linking wouldn't go astray ....

or finishing sentences like this .....

yes how the FUCK is it hard to paste a link and do

pussies

and if you do mention 'cliques' do not refer to people as being 'clicky'

"Don't type anything you wouldn't say to anyone in real life ...
" you ARE kidding?

don't think we won't notice passive agressive smiley usage you dim bints

Or at least have the balls to defend it!!!

JeremyKyle I am degree educated and use LOL but I have come to embrace my sheer laziness with regards to expressing my laughter

I abhor most other text chat though

See it as a badge of honour when you post a thread along the lines of aibu to be upset because my car's been stolen and my mother's dying and Scottishmummy replies yabvvu, in fact you a self-centred obnoxious bitch.

She does it to everyone.

Avoid all threads with the word moldies in the title

Nagapie - I do that all the time, consider me told......

and please acknowledge and thank people for good advice, or indeed any advice,it's only good manners and as we all know,they cost nothing.

Don't convince yourself you are a threadkiller. All threads have to die sometime. Just because it happens to be just after I you have posted is coincidence.

Snort at mps smiley advice.
tres bien!

LOl this list will be the equivalent of a fuck off big 'KEEP ORF OUR LAND' sign. xxx

well said MaryAnnSingleton

do you think MNHQ are regretting asking now

....

And don't try and sell us anything unless you have got the proper paperwork