MNet Newbie Guide - what would be your top piece advice on Mumsnet etiquette?

[JustineMumsnet]

We wanted to put together a humourous yet telling guide for Mumsnet newbies, full of practical advice on how to get along in Mumsnet land.

You know the type of things...

Opening posts/ nicknames/ topics to avoid until you get the hang of it. Or don't post on AIBU if you don't want to hear that you are? Or please don't use textspeak/do use punctuation and paragraphs/ don't call people Hun.

Many many thanks. We'll bung it altogether one day soon.

Thank you in advance oh kind and good Mumsnetters.

and don't ask for advice if you are a lazy arsed journo who can't think of anything to write this week we can smell you out at a hundred paces!

(look no dots!)

If you buy a buggy from here, you have to expect it to have been bought and sold several hundred times by various mners, and not necessarily still be in the shape of a buggy.

thank you dizziedixies

or indeed, actually be a buggy

If you start a thread that gets a lot of people interested please come back and tell us what happened.

morningpaper on Tue 27-Jan-09 14:12:22
don't think we won't notice passive agressive smiley usage you dim bints smile

JeremyKylesLieDetector on Tue 27-Jan-09 14:11:30
yes how the FUCK is it hard to paste a link and do

pussies

there goes my pelvic floor !!

and spell people's names correctly - sorry Dizzy

very welcome hun

{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

dizzydixies
xxxxx

Do not start a thread with the express desire to show off.
we can see right through you.

and another thing (I'm getting into my stride now) - don't start a thread and keep us hanging and then go off on a three week trip across the Andes, thus leaving us to wonder whether or not your MIL was in fact a member of MI5 hell bent on bringing you and your family down....

(what the heck)

see how gorgeous my dcs are ones are a bit iffy

"If you start a thread that gets a lot of people interested please come back and tell us what happened. "

The most important rule

yes don't do this

" pictures up for two seconds"
we aren't that interested tbh

Don't link to Daily Mail articles without warning.

Don't admit to reading anything other than the Guardian.

Don't discuss sending your children to fee paying primary and secondary schools (but obscenely expensive nannies and nurseries are acceptable).

like this

The full address for pushchair chat is: Area 51, Roswell, X-File Lane

Don't tell us you earn 500k a year and are struggling.

Agree.
re. Roswell.

hi all am new 2 this site :-)
can u pls tell me AIBU to park my brand new BMW X5 in the P&T spaces of Waitrose and nip in Chardonnay-Twinkle & Prince weren't in the car (fencing practice) BUT the nanny and gardener both were

was only gone 4 a tic

tia

((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

newMum1234
xxxxx

Don't give out what you can't take back.

Sometimes we use rude words. We don't neccessarily speak to our children like that, but we like to let off some steam on here.
Get over it....

We all kill threads, we're all ignored sometimes, never take it personally.

If you're looking for support then be sincere and you will get it. If you fancy a ruck then be unreasonable about something and ask for opinions (preferably ignoring all those who disagree with you).

Never ask for an honest opinion if you don't want to hear opinions that may not agree with yours. That is just stupid.

THINK before you press 'post'

mumsnetters are like hyenas - waiting waiting to pounce!

Newmum did you eat grapes while in the supermarket? This is vital information so we can deduce whether YABU or not.