Met rozzers - update needed please MN

[SirChenjins]

Any news from the Met MN? If we’re all facing a spell in the choky thanks to Dawn Butler we need to know whether to pack the kids and pets off to relatives and take the sprouts off the boil, or if it’s safe to crack open the Christmas chocs and pour a large one.

I’ll have one on each arse cheek, please.

I read that arse tattoos are some of the most painful. You wouldn't think that, would you, with all the fat to cushion it? It's not like we have lots of nerves in the arse, is it?

Banged to rights!

I only know one person with a tattoo on her arse and I don't think she'd appreciate me phoning her right now to randomly asked if It hurt when she got it done! I may ask her when I speak to her on Christmas Day though if I remember!

I'm back from my night out. All seems quiet on the Western front.

The police came into the restaurant and just for a second I was ready to resist but they weren't there for me. DH thinks we can all breathe easy.

We had a takeaway, last treat before prison obvs, but still no knock on the door.

I'm having a Bailey's with a splash of coffee. Might be a while before we see decent grog again.

I’ve just left the gym & I'm in my favourite coffee shop. I’m a regular at both. If the police don’t find me at home do you think they’d know where to look?

I tried to ask Dr Google if buttocks have nerves but didn't understand the answers. A slight refinement of search factors (well, OK it was 'do bum tattoos hurt?') came up with this info

Butt Cheek TattoosEven though the buttocks have a proper layer of fat, muscle, and skin padding, it is a well known phenomenon that tattoos in this area are still painful. This is due to the fact that there are around 2500 nerve endings in each cheek. However, it’s not just all those nerve endings that causes pain...the healing process can be very difficult since, obviously, this is an area you use often!

Sorry to derail. As you were.

Bum tattoos are a pain in the arse. Who knew?!

Are we all still here?

Still knock at the door. All seems quiet. I have been out to the butchers, did pass a police car coming the other way but they ignored me.

Maybe they are letting us have Christmas, and will come for us after (I am guessing they can't risk the backlash if suddenly there are a load of women absented from cooking the Christmas dinner....).

Why not the second?

I'm in the second!

Ohhhh shit. Shouldn't have said that. I'm going down, aren't I?

Nee naw nee naw! Yep! You are going in the cells with the rest of us!!! Annnnnd yours was about animals!!!!

Somewhere today a woman will be arrested for something else entirely and during the interview the police are going to be slightly confused when she keeps asking if they want to know her mumsnet username!

Nothing from MN I see, and no knock on the door here in Edinburgh from either the Met or Police Scotland so they’ve had their chance - if they want me then too bad, they’ll have to wait until after Christmas.

I plan to submit an FOI request on the 27th to get more info if nothing is forthcoming by then. I can’t be doing with all this ‘will they, won’t they’, I have a very busy life.

But if you submit a FOI request, will you have to reveal that your name is truly @SirChenjins and not a made up MN user name, which people currently think it is?🤔

Us unrepentant bastard in both books are properly fucked, aren't we!

Too right! They haven't even got to go trawling for our comments as I've nicely collated them and printed them out for them! They've just got to get £20 out of the pretty cash tom (oops tin! But it was Tom who snitched on us all, he must be on my mind!) and they are sorted! That will cover about (and no I've not counted I'm guessing) 50 maybe 60 of us over the two books!

Dammit - my cunning plan has a flaw 🤨

Oh hell. I've started making the trifle now thinking of get to eat it tomorrow, I forgot this little flaw in my escaping. Hopefully the name change will confuse Felix until boxing day

@Boiledbeetle I guess if it drums up sales then the sacrifice is worth it.

😁😂

@RadicalisedByMumzNet
Lyrics from Fine Line in his writing.
I also have BIG on my big toe because he was once asked what his stupidest tattoo was and he said that, so I got it too.

This is worth watching

This lady went to prison, met Kate Middleton and changed her life.