Met rozzers - update needed please MN

[SirChenjins]

Any news from the Met MN? If we’re all facing a spell in the choky thanks to Dawn Butler we need to know whether to pack the kids and pets off to relatives and take the sprouts off the boil, or if it’s safe to crack open the Christmas chocs and pour a large one.

@LuluBlakey1 Lulu try & have a whip round for bail whilst you're out.

Given Dawn thinks babies are born without a sex and 90% of giraffes are gay...

What's the chance she can work out how to report us all?

This is a distinct and worrying possibility. If so, though, it does mean we are free to mess around with the site to our hearts content.

We have our own Glorious Dawn - it's very confusing seeing one Good Dawn and one Clearly Bad Dawn referenced on this thread!

<Hopes @DawnMumsnet hasn't been carted off yet>

Well given that last time I was inside they weren't offering any courses at all, or even toilet paper, I think I am allowed to demand a glossy brochure this time. 🤷‍♀️ It's called graveyard humour. I hope you never meet any nurses/ex military, they're also famous for it.

I think they're probably keeping a diplomatic distance while simultaneously pissing themselves so they can do the wide-eyed "Mumsnet, what Mumsnet, officer? I haven't seen a Mumsnet!" if they need to rely on it in court.

Are they massive ones though? Big Mandy only does massive ones.

Just pondering, like...

If prison is such a very very serious thing that it is Very Very Bad to joke about...

Why is it Very Good and Righteous to threaten people with arrest and imprisonment, eh?

Is this one of those irregular verbs?

I think you might have hit on why none of us have had a knock at the door.

I keep packing then unpacking my bag. High security prison or open prison? We should be told.

I have posted on FWR before so reckon I am firmly in the Met's sights. The doorbell has gone several times this afternoon, but so far it's been amazon. But it is only a matter of time...

Will we just been taken for questioning, or straight to clink? I have watched Line of Duty so I am fully prepped with my interview technique.

If clink....On one hand, the thought of not having to wash up for a while is appealing.

On the other hand, I am concerned about the uniform. I have had my colours done, and I know black and grey drain me, orange could be troublesome depending on the shade. Arrows are a bit too geometric, a softer pattern would be better. Stripes could be ok as long as vertical.

Come on Met, if you are going to arrest me now, could you do it before I start on the Christmas veg?

@Needapadlockonmyfridge I think my eyesight is going. I read the last line as you making a start on the Christmas vag. I wondered what MN Christmas tradition I had missed out on. Do you use tinsel, glitter, tiny baubles...? Thank god it was just veg.

I just snorted my tea!

I think I am way past baubles and glitter 😅 (2 kids and post menopausal).
i do think tinsel would be a tad itchy, no?

Christmas vajazzle is probably obligatory in prison. Someone on FWR said we're going to Texas to meet Old Sparkly, so maybe that's what they meant.

DH keeps asking what I'm laughing at, he said he'll bring DD to gaze forlornly through the window at me. Our neighbours have a very friendly cat he thinks he can entice with Dreamies to come too.

Some ideas for tattoos

And I've been down with an awful stomach bug for the last couple of days so am way behind on my curtain twitching.

Getting back to it....

The entire riot squad is devoted to the Mumsnet case.

Thus it is Mumsnet's fault Oxford St was blocked by unpoliced scumbags.

I don't want any prison tattoos, either. I'll just get those arm-tight things.

I'm looking forward to the court case where we discover the usernames of all the famous people! They'll be lots of "I knew it was her" and "noooooooo!"

Perfect opportunity for you to mess around with the fonts!!!

I’m hoping Justine is cracking the whip on the Tech people to short out the long threads crashing issue

I’d just joked about politicians being planks and had a nice Special Branch follow up but neither big thread will load now they’re over 600 posts
<hurummph>

It’s Christmas, under threat of mass arrest, I can’t drink due to abx, least I should be able to do is read the funny threads and attempt some wooden jokes

At least if we’re banged up together we won’t need a hi-tech MN, we can just scrawl posts on the walls to each other

I have a nice set of multicoloured chalks for when we need diagrams of whose toothpaste is parked over whose flannel at the sinks

oooh, I can have a shot at the aliens thing again!

That might be seen as an aggravator offense, tbh.

Brilliant @KnowsWhatAGiraffeIs 🤣

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