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Original poster

Met rozzers - update needed please MN

195 replies

SirChenjins · 23/12/2023 10:50

Any news from the Met MN? If we’re all facing a spell in the choky thanks to Dawn Butler we need to know whether to pack the kids and pets off to relatives and take the sprouts off the boil, or if it’s safe to crack open the Christmas chocs and pour a large one.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
WomaninBoots · 23/12/2023 13:18

I thought, maybe, we could bring our cats?

Igmum · 23/12/2023 13:20

I don't mind being librarian and pushing round a trolley of books (full range of Robert Galbraith, Helen Joyce, Abigail Shrier et al naturally).

Second shelf on trolley could be teas, coffees, naice biscuits, gin and @WhineyVaginey's hooch.

Yes please to smuggling in cats @LuluBlakey1. I have two - suspect there may be a queue for this service so how many can you fit in? We will need a cover story to explain the strange wrowling noises from your jumper. Perhaps we could tell them that you identify as a giraffe? That seems to cover most behaviour.

PuttingDownRoots · 23/12/2023 13:23

Currently on holiday.... am I safe or will they try extradition? Or will they be waiting at the airport next week?

Maybe I shouldn't say what country I'm in just in case...

IrresponsiblyCertainAboutSexualDimorphism · 23/12/2023 13:25

EmpressaurusOfCats · 23/12/2023 11:50

I hope they have veggie options that dont include rocket. I hate rocket.

I like rocket. I expect we’ll need to barter so I’d swap some hazelnuts if that helps? I’ve picked out all the almonds and cashews. Soz.

IrresponsiblyCertainAboutSexualDimorphism · 23/12/2023 13:28

ATowerOfGiraffes · 23/12/2023 11:55

Can someone please clarify for me, are they coming just for those who posted on the cited thread, or all of us who read and completely agreed (in our heads) with comments and opinions? I'm 100% there in solidarity, but am behind on my packing/prep work beyond ensuring the dog is positioned in the window to give advance notice (barking) should anyone pull up in front of the house, and therefore could do with clarification as to whether or not "they're coming" applies to thoughts as well as posts?

All of us because MN is a hive mind. All that shouty stuff on AIBU is just a front. A kind of inverse Spartacus.

OT2023 · 23/12/2023 13:32

Wait. I'm frontline NHS and rostered to cover over Xmas. I'm not sure my manager is going to authorise this leave request.

If there's any lurkers that can cover my shifts and I can take my turn being banged up then DM me huns x

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 23/12/2023 13:36

No it's not just posters on that thread, it's the entirety of Mumsnet she's reporting. So if you've so much as asked for an opinion on a fixed-term mortgage deal, or commented on a baby name, you're stuffed. They're going to need a pretty big holding cell

Damn. Still, if I just don't answer the front door (as per MN wisdom) I should be OK, right?

MagpiePi · 23/12/2023 13:38

Will they let me have a single cell as I have to get up to pee multiple times in the night and would hate to disturb anyone else?
If not, bagsy the top bunk.

BIWIshYouAMerryChristmas · 23/12/2023 13:52

I'll probably have to start a Banged-up Bootcamp, as January is usually when I start the next one.

I wonder how low carb prison food is going to be?

Boiledbeetle · 23/12/2023 13:54

IrresponsiblyCertainAboutSexualDimorphism · 23/12/2023 13:28

All of us because MN is a hive mind. All that shouty stuff on AIBU is just a front. A kind of inverse Spartacus.

Show quote history

We all know that AIBU are the gateway threads to the more hardcore stuff. You come across an innocent article linking to a mumsnet thread about AIBU to still cut up my child's grapes as he's now 28 and before you know it you're discussing council tax hikes, suspicious parked cars and then suddenly you find yourself waiting for the police to arrest you!

Boiledbeetle · 23/12/2023 13:56

MagpiePi · 23/12/2023 13:38

Will they let me have a single cell as I have to get up to pee multiple times in the night and would hate to disturb anyone else?
If not, bagsy the top bunk.

I'm up every 45 minutes to pee, so we can share and you are welcome to the top bunk! We may need to get our middle of the night pee cycle to sync up though.

MILTOBE · 23/12/2023 13:58

This is why I love MN. And come on @mnhq, answer the question!

LuluBlakey1 · 23/12/2023 14:00

Ours won't come- I have already asked them. They have promised to write though @Igmum

MurielThrockmorton · 23/12/2023 14:04

MILTOBE · 23/12/2023 13:58

This is why I love MN. And come on @mnhq, answer the question!

Maybe they've already been banged up and we're on our own.

DorsetandBeyond · 23/12/2023 14:12

Does this mean I'd get a Get Out Of Christmas Free card? Sounds appealing right now.

WhineyVaginey · 23/12/2023 14:14

We're going to have to sit through re-education classes aren't we?
I'm not sure how much more 're-framing' I can do.
@Igmum we are absolutely going to need the trolley for that.

KohlaParasaurus · 23/12/2023 14:14

I'm not into tattoos but wouldn't mind a limited edition badge. Maybe Birdy or Wild Womyn Workshop will oblige.

BoredofBlonde · 23/12/2023 14:15

EarthlyNightshade · 23/12/2023 11:05

I've packed a grab bag - will I allowed my HRT does anyone know?

HRT is practically compulsory where we are all going

Marylou62 · 23/12/2023 14:16

If I get banged up with any of you I'm sure I'll have a great time..Crying reading this .. you are all ace...

LarkLane · 23/12/2023 14:18

MNHQ Can we have a Board called Styal and Beauty?

Also, Sex Board posters are offering advice about handcuffs and cable ties prior to being nicked, for the more vanilla amongst us.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 23/12/2023 14:19

LarkLane · 23/12/2023 14:18

MNHQ Can we have a Board called Styal and Beauty?

Also, Sex Board posters are offering advice about handcuffs and cable ties prior to being nicked, for the more vanilla amongst us.

Oh very well done indeed.

MaggieNextDoor · 23/12/2023 14:19

Just cackling at this post 😂😂😂
Oops too much Christmas cheer, I meant to quote the Styal and Beauty poster 🎉

EmpressaurusOfCats · 23/12/2023 14:27

My kittens have 4am zoomies so I don’t think anyone’s going to want to share with them.

I can stand rocket cooked but it’s too bitter for me raw. Happy to swop for hazelnuts. Happier still to swap for halloumi.

dapsnotplimsolls · 23/12/2023 14:29

I don't want tattoos if Big Mandy is doing them ...

ssd · 23/12/2023 14:30

Surely the tattoo needs to be the mn bat?