Met rozzers - update needed please MN

[SirChenjins]

Any news from the Met MN? If we’re all facing a spell in the choky thanks to Dawn Butler we need to know whether to pack the kids and pets off to relatives and take the sprouts off the boil, or if it’s safe to crack open the Christmas chocs and pour a large one.

@ATowerOfGiraffes I'm screwed either way, if they can see full username history, as I posted on there but without my GC hat on. I didn't see it as a GC topic of conversation, would never have dreamed of being so crass as to co-opt a child's death to make a badly-informed political point, and was offering my condolences to the poor parents of the child in question.

Were those the right sort of thoughts or were they some wanton ones?

Where do you stand on the the sexual orientation of giraffes?

No Dawn the MP of Brent who started this whole debacle thinks 90% of giraffes are gay. I don't want to vote for an MP who doesn't know what a giraffe is.

'Giraffe Dawn' sounds like a cult horror along the lines of Sharknado.
Are mumsnet selling the film rights to this? Wonder who they'll get to play the vipers.

Oh I like rocket! Have you tried mixing it with watercress and spinach, with a french dressing as a side salad? It's delicious with savoury pancakes.

Sounds like it's all round to Lulu's cell for nibbles.

Not exactly the vegan option, but a thinly sliced rare steak, on a bed of rocket with some blue cheese crumbled on top is absolutely lovely.

I doubt the custody sergeant will be happy with such a request though.

Did someone mention knowing someone on the inside who had promised them a tattoo?

Ooh! Do you think your friend might do us all one (just those of us who want one- it wouldn't be compulsory of course)? I'm thinking something discreet and stylish but with a strong message, something that would mark us out for life as participants in this important political protest, something powerful but subtle.

Any suggestions?

I’m just back from walking the dog (in the peeing rain) in case I’m otherwise detained over the next few days. No update from MN or the Met is very disappointing - unless they’re working out some deal whereby Justine walks in return for 50 of us?

No it's not just posters on that thread, it's the entirety of Mumsnet she's reporting. So if you've so much as asked for an opinion on a fixed-term mortgage deal, or commented on a baby name, you're stuffed. They're going to need a pretty big holding cell.

and...

GC = Giraffe Critical?😎

I was going to start a thread today asking for advice on getting a new boiler, but if I'm going to be banged up by dinner time there's probably no point, is there?

Im rather lumpy shaped - I could smuggle in a cat if anyone wanted me to.

I’ll need to bring in my special pillow, mattress topper, weighted blanket, fan, cold packs, earphones, crowbars and eye shade though.

I also going to need a weeks notice if I’m going to leave the house.

Will we get Christmas Dinner?

With a huge portion of chunky chips?

Crocheting the escape rope is essential so I do hope so, if not I am sure us resourceful MNers will fashion a suitable substitute.

Maybe it's not pokey they are planning on sending us to but a Goldsmith College style gulag where we will be re-educated by IW to talk only about prams, nappies and lipstick.

😂😂

Ooh, I’m a sahm and thinking of returning to work but I need to retrain. Do you think there will be some good courses in prison? I was thinking of coding or maybe painting and decorating.

I've had a week feeling really low and that made me laugh out loud, thanks.

I can bake a cake with a file in it, how big will it (cake and file) need to be?

Just for the record, my gender is Mumgender, or vipers on Tuesdays, and I wish to be housed with all the others of my kind.

Many thanks for the clarification, all of MN then, regardless of how wanton the thoughts may have been. Perfect.

Re the tattoo, as long as it's not a giraffe, as whilst they are my favourite animals, if someone does make the Giraffe Dawn film, we might inadvertently end up being advertising billboards for something that might be rubbish?

I love this thread. Couldn't think of a better crowd to be banged up with.

Make sure it's an Ex Cell file.

I've made this joke already, but I want to make sure I get full use out of it.

Top marks for thinking of the environment and recycling even under threat of prison, ArabellaScott.