Please can we just ban the following from MN? <unreasonableness alert>

[KatieMiddleton]

The following words:

hubby
chavvy/chav
aunt flo
plasma screen TV in any context other than a geeky one.

Starring would be acceptable. You could make it opt in so the huns can get on with it and I don't have to cry "my eyes! my eyes!" every 40 minutes.

Threads about the following:

Benefit bashing Or at least put a warning on the thread titles like BIGOT in big red letters. Possibly flashing. I feel this could be one use of a ticker I could support.

Posters:

Who cannot read a thread properly due to being a lazy arse

Who are hard of thinking

Who are determined to take great offence at what others post regardless of the actual intent of the poster

Who don't say thank you when someone takes the time to give advice

I'm sure there is more. I'm sure others have more. Please MNHQ can you just take a metaphorical red pen to the whole lot?

I do know people cross-posts, Maryz, I have been here for a LONG time

I'm talking about a regular pattern I've noticed by 1/2 posters

Of course well-known doesn't always equal egotistical. There are loads of well-known posters. I only have 1/2 of them in mind

Hmm. If you haven't seen it happening it's probably you doing it.

Definitely ban anyone who asks for and gets specific advice and then never says thank you. Ban them to hell and back.

And ban people who can't think of anything suitably cutting or intelligent to say and so only post . I HATE that. Shit or get off the pot - don't piss about with your ambiguous posts.

I love pags idea. Imagine the carnage. I would ban whole topics.

1/2 a poster?

Bloody hell Maryz. Wtf were you posting?

Please can we ban OPs which are a whole essay with no paragraphs?

Sauvignon - or without punctuation. Although I'm afraid you are on a sticky wicket with your long, tricky-to-spell name.

Yes. Posters who DO NOT PARAGRAPH should be given remedial classes in pressing the enter key.

Maybe this thread is making MNHQ nervous. The peasants are revolting...

@KatieMiddleton

We could have a ban on posters demanding an update on sensitive threads where the op doesn't want to come back of course.

That would be fine so long as RebeccaMumsnet made up a satisfactory ending instead.

and they all lived happily ever after works for my 3 year old

Love the happy ending idea.
Apologies for causing offence by my name.

or and The Three Billy Goats Gruff all reported the nasty troll rather than shouting 'troll' at him and RebeccaMumsnet didn't go grey quite as quickly ?

Hmm I think the narrative needs work Rebecca.

How about we have a troll hunting amnesty for a few days to give you a chance to refine your plot lines a bit?

Anyone who says "what soandso said". Either say why you agree or don't bother cluttering up my screen.

I agree with Mardy

What Mardy said.

Can I be in charge then? I want to abolish threads about reading schemes. I get disproportionately irritated.