Please can we just ban the following from MN? <unreasonableness alert>

[KatieMiddleton]

The following words:

hubby
chavvy/chav
aunt flo
plasma screen TV in any context other than a geeky one.

Starring would be acceptable. You could make it opt in so the huns can get on with it and I don't have to cry "my eyes! my eyes!" every 40 minutes.

Threads about the following:

Benefit bashing Or at least put a warning on the thread titles like BIGOT in big red letters. Possibly flashing. I feel this could be one use of a ticker I could support.

Posters:

Who cannot read a thread properly due to being a lazy arse

Who are hard of thinking

Who are determined to take great offence at what others post regardless of the actual intent of the poster

Who don't say thank you when someone takes the time to give advice

I'm sure there is more. I'm sure others have more. Please MNHQ can you just take a metaphorical red pen to the whole lot?

Any newbies who pick a user name similar to that of an established MNer and refuse to change it when politely requested.

YY to all of the above.

I particularly like the message embellished by Mumsnet suggestion.

Aren't those shot already Mardy? I thought they were?

Oh, I did that Mardy completely by accident. I contacted the lovely rhondajean (I was RhondaRoo) and she was fine with it, I said I'd change once I could think of a decent NN - took me from October until last week to come up with 'Brian...'

and it's not even that good

But you are pronounced Mary's aren't you Maryz? If not I may need to a new rule...

I think we should have a different mumsnetter in charge of mumsnet every day. They get to decide on what threads get pulled, can dish out one day bans and demand a certain tone.

A mahoosive great rota.

I would ban loads of stuff on my day

new rule: Posters are not allowed to dictate how other posters say their name in their own head. Especially when that poster is pronouncing their name wrong.

That would never happen Maryz. On my first day in change my first job would be to disband the rota and make my reign permanent.

Imagine me as the Fidel Castro of Mumsnet if you will.

It would be a challenge.

it's not a perfect idea but I just want my day.

SPB in my head is pronounced "superbly bits"

but now I've read it, is it actually "Sue Purple-ie Bits"?

Maryz you are naughty. Look what you've started!

I was totally wrong!!!!

apologies to Sue Nethuns goodwill hug??

There should be a sub-clause to the rule about newbies/name-changers who choose a name very similar to an old-timer's. Those who post stupid, offensive and generally unpleasant stuff should be made to post on Another Parenting Site.

I'd like to ban comments by a certain well known poster were they self-importantly proclaim advice that has been given 1 post above by someone less well known, without acknowledging that person

And I'd definitely ban posts where the OP thanks that those posters with the well known posting name, but none of the other people, who took more time and less ego to pass on the same nugget of wisdom

Oh, and ban BabyDancing. It's still used. It's still evil

Can we ban threads that start with the words 'I don't want to start a benefit bashing thread, but just wondered if someone would explain why...'

I think the OPs always know and intend that this will bring the benefit bashers running to vent their spleen on people less fortunate themselves.

There should be a topic where people can go and post things like:

I'm not being mean, but...

I'm not racist, but....

Then when they were all over there venting their spleens we could throw in a big stink-bomb and push them over a cliff we can hide them.

Is baby dancing still used? I don't venture on to ttc threads so I am sheltered from all that.

I love you KateM, i'm all for banning the word Chav/vy, i was just saying how it's hurting my insides. You are very wise and lovely M'am.