Please can we just ban the following from MN? <unreasonableness alert>

[KatieMiddleton]

The following words:

hubby
chavvy/chav
aunt flo
plasma screen TV in any context other than a geeky one.

Starring would be acceptable. You could make it opt in so the huns can get on with it and I don't have to cry "my eyes! my eyes!" every 40 minutes.

Threads about the following:

Benefit bashing Or at least put a warning on the thread titles like BIGOT in big red letters. Possibly flashing. I feel this could be one use of a ticker I could support.

Posters:

Who cannot read a thread properly due to being a lazy arse

Who are hard of thinking

Who are determined to take great offence at what others post regardless of the actual intent of the poster

Who don't say thank you when someone takes the time to give advice

I'm sure there is more. I'm sure others have more. Please MNHQ can you just take a metaphorical red pen to the whole lot?

Actually MN, I'd be happy if you just had an auto-delete function for any links to the DM website.

Perhaps it could detect the link and just replace it with a link to a page that says. "Blah, blah, blah, bigot, blah blah, blah scary bullshit" and people will get the gist of whatever it is.

After last night I would love an 'ignore poster' function.

NETMUMS has one

Seriously though, they are fab and v.funny.

I think if you try to link a daily mail article you should get a small tazer through your keyboard. If you link it with 'daily mail alert' or 'sorry, daily mail' you should lose fingers.

Haha at mrsdv trying to raise mn competitive hackles

I think we should ban the phrase DailyFail which is snobbish and makes the poster sound like a knob. I'd rather see scum-rag which, lets face it, everybody lies about not reading if a link is posted in it's place.

And the tazer too.

Yy to Pascha

I read the mail if it is in the coffee shop. I disagree with most of it but it has pictures and the sports alright. And I am ever so clever and can read and think 'that's bollocks' both at the same time.

But I posted that once and apparently it is a shameful admission because it contains mind manipulation and I will lose all free will and start muttering about immigrants.

and I am ever so clever and can read and think 'that's bollocks' both at the same time.

Damn right.

Ooh I like the tazer idea. But I would apply it myself to anyine who mildly irritated me at random for sport. I think it would liven up some of the quieter boards.

On a serious note I read a thread last night that was just nasty and piss-taking of the obviously new op. That was horrible reading. I'd have all those who took the piss poked with a big stick for 20 minutes as punishment for being so needlessly vile. Repeat offenders would put in virtual stocks with all their horrible posts laid out before them.

Hmm I do like to be warned of a DM link. Then I can choose not to click it because each visit to their nasty pages is registered and the more visitors the more lucrative the advertising revenue. Plus once I'm on their site with its sidebar of shamefully tantalising s'leb gossip and pictures I can spend hours looking at reality telly stars on holiday and at premiers

I don't post much in the evenings. I wonder sometimes if the evenings are when people get more drunk combative?
Of course the flip side is that I miss lots of the funniest threads
[sad face] [rubs coffee spill off pleather skirt]

What about on those benefit threads the minute the word benefits appears they get redirected to the first one. Keep all the little Tory Central Office work experiencers in one place.

Can we ban more than one exclamation mark or question mark in a title? Also the use of them together ?!?!?!?!!?!

Also, having actually now bothered to read the thread to check I wasn't going over old ground, can I add that you all (probably) pronounce my name wrong and I don't give a shit.

Oooh automatic links. That's a great idea!

Can I do one so when someone posts 'should I send my dd to state or private'

You get sent to my thread which i will entitle

It depends on the schools, it depends on the child and it depends on your circumstances. they are all different you twit

Adds bubba to the list. It made my teeth itch writing that. I like the verification script idea. That's great!

Yy to putting twattish threads in a loop of single thread-dom. Then I could hide it.

Lunatic I thought that said "puts on Tetchy hat".

I WANT and NEED a tetchy hat. It would suit me so. Also narky knickers.

Can we ban the teasing little ...

... thread titles please? Which are always but always dull as ditchwater when you click on them anyway.

Ffs!

Also, misuse of AIBU. Its old, its tired (like me) but it still sets me off into a RAGE when people post

AIBU to fancy beans or cheese on toast for lunch - come help me decide type of inanity.

Thanks.

Oh yes. Can we ban AIBU dwellers? If you join MN and post exclusively in AIBU for a certain length of time your character shall be judged and found wanting. You shall be ejected.

Actually ejected. Out of your seat.

God yes.
I hate peek a boo/reveal titles. Fucking annoying and always dull.

I am clearly not loving mn much just now

I hate POAS threads where the op does not have a stick to even piss on. If you must start one of those threads you must have in your possession a pregnancy test kit and a full bladder with the intent to use both immediately after pressing post.

AIBU vultures can go straight into my MN room 101

Everything Bibbity just posted is in.

I am laying "closing down AIBU all together" on the MNHQ table. I cannot bear the thoughtlessness and the bitchy behaviour that is considered acceptable there.

I want to ban 'I just spat tea over my keyboard' and all variations on it.

You didn't, did you? Not really. I don't believe you. You just smirked a little bit.

Perhaps there could be a ying yang moderator?
You have to post in a balanced way. You can post sarky or rude stuff but that has to be balanced by your being supportive or funny elsewhere.

The bile spitters could get banned

(my auto correct wanted me to ban 'bike sitters'. That would have been contravertial )

That's a good idea Pag. Like a balance and harmony ratio.

I do wonder if the bile spitters (bike spotters here btw) would stop if their unpleasantness was laid out before them?

I would immediately ban posters who only come on to a thread to have a go at another poster who is not even the OP and offer no helpful advice at all.