Sexless Marriages Support thread

[Aishabibi]

I’ve noticed since coming onto this section that there are a lot of us in sexless marriages. I wonder if having a thread to share experiences, survival strategies, sex toy recommendations, FwB set ups for those who’ve agreed to open things up or anyone that has managed to get things going again.

my situation is nothing from DH for over 3 yrs. he says he’s not interested at all, no urges whatsoever. He agreed I could explore a FwB, which I did find. Before that, lots of failed attempts to get him interested (lingerie, porn, and a growing collection of toys

Just curious, has anyone in this situation ever chatted and then maybe met anyone from this forum?

I haven't - always happy to chat to people though. I tend to look at the posts when I get fed up - almost like solidarity with the group, a group bond lol. When i am not fed up of the situation, I don't tend to come on here much 😂

@SophieMumsy maybe we should organise a group meet-up! What could go wrong….

Like a huge speed dating meet up, can you imagine what that would look like, i’m guessing every man there would be in a sexless relationship or sexless marriage 😂

@SophieMumsy Chatted, yes; met, no. Online chat can be a psychological outlet for sure but I wonder whether it's really just a distraction.

@SophieMumsy - same as @LochSunart for me, with whom I agree on it just being a distraction.

One thing I always do before chatting though is check someone's post history, gives you a pretty clear indication whether it's someone playing make believe or not!

Yes; "Advanced Search" is your friend!

MN has been a lifeline over the years, just knowing that it wasn't just me experiencing this meant so much.

My wife and I have split up now. But the thing missing in my life for so long feels out of reach as the idea of sex terrifies me now.

I had a lady from Mumsnet contact me. Of all the places in the world, she was a 20 mins drive away.

She had seen my posts in the sex threads and reached out as she was in a very unsatisfactory marriage sexually. We met for a Starbucks. I’ve met a couple of women on Fab previously who were seeing men behind their husbands back. They both had a very strong mindset.

This lady certainly didn’t have that mindset. I think she was emotionally very fragile. I actually tried to talk her out of the idea. No idea what happened to her after that meet.

Chatted for a long time to a lady who was from Blackheath but being in Belfast myself made it very difficult to meet

I have…but without going into details, I wouldn’t do it again.

Think we all want those details now @DixonD

Anything for a bit of excitement 😂

😂😂

Better not 😂

Spoil sport, lol

@SophieMumsy chatted yes, met yes but no actual "shenanigans" altho something is possibly likely in the future 😁

Agreed, @DixonD could have given us all a little excitement rather than just a tease 😛

I met someone online (not here) almost 10 years ago. He is still in my life.

I have chatted with a few woman and had some "interesting" chats but sadly no meetings yet!

How long do you chat for?

I have had a couple of chats with women on here. All good fun but very much in the "fantasy" world - haven't met anyone as that maybe a bit "real".

Fun talk can be good with the right person as long as you are both respectful of the other person's personal family scenario.

A flirty chat can be good, especially when you lack that attention from a partner. I have a friend at work who likes to make flirty, flattering comments, it lifts the mood when he does

Having sexualised chats with people online when you're married etc is cheating.

Surely if it's got to that stage maybe you'd be better leaving your spouses and then you can do what you like?

Yes because leaving a marriage, especially a long standing one, with kids is so easy.

Not that cheating is right, but if you read this thread it's not just as easy as leaving, as many people have said.

I know what you mean @Lugol. I am in a sexless marriage but feel I can’t leave because of my two children and the impact on them. I would love some flirty chat online just to feel seen, feel special again and like I had that spark/connection with someone but also know I’d be racked with guilt if I did. Trust me it’s a really shit situation to be in that messes with your head on a daily basis!