Sexless Marriages Support thread

[Aishabibi]

I’ve noticed since coming onto this section that there are a lot of us in sexless marriages. I wonder if having a thread to share experiences, survival strategies, sex toy recommendations, FwB set ups for those who’ve agreed to open things up or anyone that has managed to get things going again.

my situation is nothing from DH for over 3 yrs. he says he’s not interested at all, no urges whatsoever. He agreed I could explore a FwB, which I did find. Before that, lots of failed attempts to get him interested (lingerie, porn, and a growing collection of toys

Sorry that's what I meant. It was an online order from a pharmacy. He did disclose current medication. He's had it on prescription before but as it's so difficult to get a GP appt these days decided better to just pay. Tbh more than happy with that...much better uses of GP time.

And no. I don't want to fuck someone else. I just want more than an occasional shag...!

Yes he made me feel good wanting me.

I think I just don't understand how anyone can not want sex when it's always good?! Pure madness in my eyes 🤣🤣

In the same boat, been together 10 years, sex was never amazing but has dwindled and dwindled plus she has health issues and put on weight whereas I am in good shape for my age and get looks from other woman. Don't want to give up on her (plus we get along fairly well) but need an outlet, constantly thinking of having an affair even an online one only. We are in separate beds as we both sleep better so at least easy for me to get "relief". Surely you sex life should not be over in your 40's!

You'd like to think not right?!

Do you find her attractive regardless of the weight gain? Is she comfortable with it?

Masturbation provides a relief but can't cuddle you after!

Have you discussed it with her at all? Any idea of the reasons?

And what about what you want? Yawned while you were giving him a BJ? 😳

Do you want the rest of your life to be like this? You could live to 100

Hi Lugol,

he has agreed to N open relationship. I will take a lover again at some point.

She simply never enjoyed or wanted physical contact. As a virgin I never knew what to expect or that it was any different from any other woman. Seeing a flash of boob as a teenager was mindblowing, so never thought much was wrong.

That sucks. Are you happy in the marriage overall?

Yes. Love my family deeply. Just that one thing missing. It's not enough in itself to justify leaving the people I love.

But, that’s nothing more than a friendship…

@BreezyShaker that is exactly how I feel too.

And I agree. It is just a friendship. Have you been able to explain to her how you feel? Is she aware?

My marriage is a really good friendship that raises kids together. If I can get other needs met elsewhere, I can live with it if he can. I’m grateful to have had that difficult, frank conversation about trying ethical non-monogamy.

Hi just come across this thread. I’m female in my late 40s and husband late 50s. Two teenagers together. My husband hasn’t wanted sex and it’s now been over 2.5 years since the last time. I think in the past 4 years we have had sex 3 times. In 2024 after telling me that if was him and not me, he told me he didn’t find me as attractive, as I had put weight on, went up to a size 18 due to been in a lot of pain with physical health problem, still have physical health problems. I’m now a size 8 and have been for a year. Last night I asked him if he fancied me and he said yes, I asked him if he found me sexually attractive and there was a long pause and he said we need to spend more time together to get things back on track. But we have had this conversation before about spending more time together and unless I arrange or suggest something, it doesn’t happen. I don’t think he does find me sexually attractive. I honestly don’t know what to do, I’ve said before I don’t want to be in a sexless marriage but that’s what it has come

Your weight loss proved he was using your weight as an excuse. I fucking hate men who do this