Page 6 | Sex icks

Silverbook · 2024-11-03T10:54:16+00:00

A friend (yes, honestly) had the hilarious (for us, traumatic for her) experience of a guy getting down to the deed and saying “missile incoming” at the split second before penetration. I think she deserves an Oscar for keeping a straight face. Instant sex ick! Whats yours? Mine is anybody who thinks it’s acceptable on any level to keep their socks on.

Noshowlomo · 03/11/2024 15:59

I had a ONS following a date about 18 years ago, and we were getting down to it. He had quite a small peen, but proceeded to grab the most giant tub of Vaseline from under his bed, rubbed it on me, looked me in the eyes and said “I want you”. I don’t know how I didn’t crack up.

CookieMonster28 · 03/11/2024 15:59

JustSayingBut · 03/11/2024 15:00

I read the thread initially because I thought it was actually someone with a serious issue, not just someone looking for salacious gossip about their sexual partners. I then made a comment on what I'd read. As im entitled to do. And I've replied to one or two if the posts addressed to me, though I've not read all of them. How is that " spoiling" the thread.
Perhaps you should have posted the thread in the Sex topic forum where it would have had an exclusive audience of like minded people yourself

I wonder if your DH discusses his sex life with you on a public forum just for laughs.

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Christ.
Sounds like you could do with a "missile incoming'.
A big one.
Soon.

Waterbaby41 · 03/11/2024 16:00

Met a guy in a bar whose chat up line was "I have a great piercing - a ring through the top of my penis - do you want to try it?"
Cue me running away shouting no fucking way! 😵‍💫

RamsaySnowsSausage · 03/11/2024 16:06

Said 'is she ready for my big finish' referring to my vagina. 'She' had been but that dried things up.

Said I looked like I was singing into a pink microphone when I was giving oral. Just felt silly and gross after that.

Went to loo after and guffed repeatedly and loudly while walking down the hall.

Told me not to move so he could concentrate. So fun for me.

Like a pp said, men ruin it for themselves.

I'm clearly a raging slut though so deserved all I got!!

Crispynoodle · 03/11/2024 16:07

LostittoBostik · 03/11/2024 11:00

Oh god.

Someone I knew experienced a man performing backyard oral and then kissing her immediately afterwards. She didn't see him again.

Back yard oral? Is this what I think it is? 🤢🤮

HangingOver · 03/11/2024 16:07

JustSayingBut · 03/11/2024 11:05

Well if you and your pal are in the habit of having sex with comparative strangers is it surprising you come across gross and off putting behaviour?
They don't have any obligation to respect you other than comply with obtaining consent so why should you be surprised at their behaviour otherwise?
You and every one else are entitled to have sex with whoever you want but surely off putting behaviour must be par for the course .

What the fuck are you talking about 😂

HolyPeaches · 03/11/2024 16:07

JustSayingBut · 03/11/2024 11:05

Well if you and your pal are in the habit of having sex with comparative strangers is it surprising you come across gross and off putting behaviour?
They don't have any obligation to respect you other than comply with obtaining consent so why should you be surprised at their behaviour otherwise?
You and every one else are entitled to have sex with whoever you want but surely off putting behaviour must be par for the course .

Dear God you sound absolutely insufferable 😂

Cringing so hard for you right now.

Demonhunter · 03/11/2024 16:08

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"Small minded and boring" oh the irony 😂

Drinkdrinkduuurink · 03/11/2024 16:08

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Saying there's "always one" doesn't mean someone with a different viewpoint (different views are obviously what forums are for). It means anyone one of killjoy, debbie downer, Mary Whitehouse, pear clutcher, or just mean spirited.

Every MN thread usually has one of these.

Mrsredlipstick · 03/11/2024 16:08

Perhaps the 'incoming missile' was trying to blow her socks off!

Mrsredlipstick · 03/11/2024 16:09

FWIW my lovely 'gifted' husband has the most disgusting feet. They were kept well hidden.

Bartcla · 03/11/2024 16:12

JustSayingBut · 03/11/2024 11:46

I think I take issue with the fact that if the boot were on the other foot and the guy was laughing at and discussing his woman partner and how they acted during sex and describing the sex to their pals - as realistically happens- then the woman quite rightly would feel upset and betrayed. Because as far as I'm concerned the sex act between 2 people is a private act.
Therefore I feel a woman discussing what her and her sexual partner got up to in bed with her pal is also a betrayal.
And OP putting her pals sex life on a public forum doesn't seem her place and is also a betrayal of confidence

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If you think sex is a private act then maybe a thread about sex isn’t the place for you 🤔

Stormyweatheroutthere · 03/11/2024 16:15

Come on! A chicken drumstick under the pillow for a mid shag snack is pure genius!!

Threewheeler1 · 03/11/2024 16:16

Stormyweatheroutthere · 03/11/2024 16:15

Come on! A chicken drumstick under the pillow for a mid shag snack is pure genius!!

I'm so distracted by the idea of greasy, meaty sheets!

supersop60 · 03/11/2024 16:19

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Nothing joyful about your posts.

borntoblossom · 03/11/2024 16:20

needsomewarmsunshine · 03/11/2024 12:33

There was a MNer on here way back who reported that p/h announced afrer orgasm 'That cleared out the pipes' - urgh...

I had been in a relationship with a man for nearly 2 years when he announced after sex 'it felt good to empty my sack' 🤢 didn't last long after that, he became more and more of a dickhead as time went on

One time during a ONS the guy stopped midway through, without comment got a satsuma, peeled and ate it before resuming 😂

Iwishicouldflyhigh · 03/11/2024 16:22

Incognitoburrito88 · 03/11/2024 15:14

I’d be quite amused if my husband used the ‘incoming missile’ line - sex doesn’t have to be serious all the time does it? Also I have definitely had sex and belatedly realised half way through that I still have my socks on. Our house is so cold I’d ideally keep all my clothes on with just an access flap to allow the missile to dock.

😂😂😂

supersop60 · 03/11/2024 16:26

"You like that, don't you?"
Ick.

HelpMeGetThrough · 03/11/2024 16:27

One time during a ONS the guy stopped midway through, without comment got a satsuma, peeled and ate it before resuming

Half time orange.

Getamoveon2024 · 03/11/2024 16:29

Biggest ick has to be pencil dick. Not their fault but Christ, it’s awful. Have encountered that twice and never went back for an encore.

One bloke had fingernails that he used in entirely the wrong places.

One FWB “snapped his banjo” mid way through 🤦‍♀️ He didn’t even feel it, but I could tell something was off - turned the lights up and the bedroom looked like a murder scene. Never shagged him again!!

Once got dumped by a boyfriend literally seconds after sex had finished - he was still out of breath!! A few years later he got jilted at the alter and I will admit, I wasn’t sorry.

AlexaAdventuress · 03/11/2024 16:34

On perusing this thread, I can't help imagining the Undertones singing about getting 'teenage icks right through the night'.

What a brilliant Christmas number one that would be.

Firstimpressions · 03/11/2024 16:40

FupaTrooper · 03/11/2024 14:54

Women should be able to enjoy casual sex without men being weird, creepy, projecting porn and kinks etc.

Men ruin everything that could be fun and they don't realise that if they treated women with a bit more respect and prioritised our pleasure over their own, they would be having a lot more sex.

But the issue isn't women wanting casual sex, it is a society that allows the majority of men to act like neanderthals.

And as OP said in her update... Her examples weren't even from casual encounters. So you are projecting a lot here.

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Rightly or wrongly, casual sex especially one night stands with strangers leaves women open to exploitation & disrespect. There is no denying this fact & it has nothing to do with which era we live in.

ObtuseMoose · 03/11/2024 16:42

Sex, one more thing that MNers can suck the joy out of. Probably the only thing they suck...

NPET · 03/11/2024 16:50

JustSayingBut · 03/11/2024 11:05

Well if you and your pal are in the habit of having sex with comparative strangers is it surprising you come across gross and off putting behaviour?
They don't have any obligation to respect you other than comply with obtaining consent so why should you be surprised at their behaviour otherwise?
You and every one else are entitled to have sex with whoever you want but surely off putting behaviour must be par for the course .

How do you know he was a stranger? But even if he was, you shouldn't criticise other people's sexual mores.
I'm 20 (I know I keep saying it but it seems to be relevant on here) and am still in the "trial & error" stage of getting to know boys/men.
What turns me off? Well tbh it may be predictable for my age, it may seem silly, but it's guys who say things like "are you ready, cos I'm huge?", then they produce a thimble.
And that IS NOT an exaggeration or a schoolgirl joke - that happens!

cookiebee · 03/11/2024 16:52

Oh god I’ve just remembered another, my first boyfriend, this was 23 years ago. I had been ill with glandular fever, so had a very sore throat, he said not to worry, he will give me an injection of very special medicine, I’ve just thrown up in my mouth a little at the memory.

This wasn’t even the reason I broke up with him, it was after my friend said he looked like Bill Bailey from black books, I mean the comedian is a legend, but after that I wasn’t taking no more special injections!