Sex icks

[Silverbook]

A friend (yes, honestly) had the hilarious (for us, traumatic for her) experience of a guy getting down to the deed and saying “missile incoming” at the split second before penetration. I think she deserves an Oscar for keeping a straight face. Instant sex ick!

Whats yours? Mine is anybody who thinks it’s acceptable on any level to keep their socks on.

@JustSayingBut actually statistically you're far more likely to be raped or sexually abused by your husband or a close family member or friend than some random on a first or second date.

Women are always vulnerable to male abuse. They still have to live in the world. Straight women still have desire and deserve pleasure. Bore off with your relentless moralising.

@JustSayingBut - you’ve derailed the thread, great job - now get back to punters.

I agree with @JustSayingBut You're bunch of rampant, sex-starved ferals. Shame on you.

😂

#joking. I love mad, funny threads like this! (And I love to see a po-faced Sunday School teacher with constipation on them too!) 😆 Thanks @LorettyTen for that hilarious comment!

By the way, this thread puts me in mind of the penetration man thread from days gone by too. (As a pp mentioned!) Great read. It's in Classics! 😆

Penetration man | Mumsnet

Surely it's riskier if you wait until marriage, you wouldn't find out if you've committed yourself to penetration man until it's too late.

Jesus, just sod off already, this thread is here to have a laugh, take your dried up opinions, amongst other dried up things elsewhere and let us all have a giggle!

Someone's obviously bored today and is trying way too hard to start an argument 🙄

Someone once told me she was having sex with a man for the first time and at the very moment he ejaculated he said 'WHOOSH!'

I think it might be the same man. 😂

@JustSayingBut not been laid in a while?

Probably in the same way she has had the 'misfortune' to read reviews (note plural) on UK Punting and similar sites (note plural again).

Shallow.

Yes, sounds like it was 😂🤣

Even if it's cold?

On the point of Sex with comparative strangers: I've always got this very important 'compatability test' out of the way at my earliest convenience.

Why waste days/weeks/months with someone if the sex is horrendous?

Are we great in bed together? Splendid!
Now let's talk 😁

ISTR the 'missile' thing (or maybe a torpedo) thing as a saying in one of Michael Dobbs Churchill books.

Oh don't worry. He'll never know will he? Unless of course he's the type of man to come on to a female dominated discussion forum, and of all threads available, click the one with sex in the title. In which case, he's only himself to blame.

'Backyard Oral' weren't they a 90s indie band?

I'm finding quite a lot of these examples quite sweet really. Men being a bit over-enthusiastic and talking too much is better than disengagement and I would stick around and discuss for the future if all else was good. Baby doll chicken drumstick is gross though.

Haven’t really had any, but did read the other day a report (dont know if its true or not!) of a fan who slept with Justin timberlake back in the day and during penetration, looked deep into her eyes and said ‘You have Justin timberlake inside you’ 😳 🤮 😂

yes! My personal ick is of its ONLY socks 🤢

😂😂

Which is strange, given his good sense of humour, easy going nature and approachability.

@@JustSayingBut You will deny it but most posters here can see your misogyny a mile off. Clearly, the type of woman to have a one night stand is not deserving of respect. My guess is your partner is also the type of man to believe this.

I have had quite a few ONSs and have never had an experience where I felt disrespected. I tend though to go for nice guys who, as surprising as this may seem, keep their nice personality in bed.

Nice, decent men tend to stay like that when a woman sleeps with them - they believe she is worthy of respect in the same way as before. A man who does not feel like that is not a nice person, end of. And it is pretty clear which kind of person you are.

This is hilarious, and to be honest a real test of how besotted she is. It's the type of joke that from someone I was wildly into I would laugh and think how hilarious he is, from someone I wasn't so keen on, I'd think ick !

That's so bad! Multiple reports that Leo Dicaprio wears headphones during the act. Imagine being the woman in that scenario!