Sex icks

[Silverbook]

A friend (yes, honestly) had the hilarious (for us, traumatic for her) experience of a guy getting down to the deed and saying “missile incoming” at the split second before penetration. I think she deserves an Oscar for keeping a straight face. Instant sex ick!

Whats yours? Mine is anybody who thinks it’s acceptable on any level to keep their socks on.

Boob honking makes me instantly dry 😖

A light-hearted post that made me both laugh and cringe at the same time, just ripped to pieces and judged. The is precisely why i'm often so reluctant to post anything.

It's a well known fact the most satisfying sex is between 2 people who know each others likes & dislikes & they trust each other implicitly.

Dp once read out something he'd read on the Internet

Apparently they'd got down to it in doggy,and for some reason,she looked round while mid shag

He WAVED at her!

The worst was years ago

He was obsessed with his ex wife (she'd moved on) and my self esteem was on the floor

He not only called me by her name during sex but one time he stopped mid shag,bent over the bed and pulled out the biggest flesh coloured vibrator (this fucker was maassive) I'd ever seen and asked if I wanted to use it-it was the ex's but he was sure she wouldn't mind

And he'd give it a quick wipe as she hadn't cleaned it before she walked out on him

I dumped him and within weeks,met my now dp-i still cringe

I was wondering why no-one had mentioned Penetration Man!
(Thank god I didn't imagine him)

My ex husband once said ‘ding aling aling’ when he ‘finished’ . Needless to say it made my toes curl, and not in a good way whatsoever

@JustSayingBut bloody hell chill out love! 😂🤦‍♀️

I read on here about someone who had sex with a guy who kept making eye contact during the deed and winking at her. I wish I'd never read it!!

Was having sex with my ex (before he was my ex) and he was on top. I looked up just in time to see a glob of snot leave his nose and literally pushed him off me. He couldn't fathom why I didn't want to continue, because "I've wiped it away now." 🤢

Hahaha 😂. The wave! That literally made me spit my tea out.

smoothed over like a Ken doll 😂😂😂

I once encountered a guy who cried when he came. Loud, racking sobs.

Another who referred to my clit as my ‘love pimple’

😄😄😄🤭🤭🤭 I literally pictured the wave

I've only read the first page of this thread, so sorry if someone has already answered this...........
It must be my convent grammar school education with holier-than-thou nuns, but I didn't think I was so naive that I have to ask..........what's "backyard oral"?
My mind is boggling...........😳

My best friend married her childhood sweetheart. Both from very religious families so both virgins on the wedding night.
He burst into tears after they dtd.
As in proper, heart rending sobs.
She divorced him about 5 years after due to other issues, got pissed one night and did a reenactment. Twas hilarious 😂

You've made me remember the chap who made a noise like a whale when he climaxed.

There was NOT a second time.

A guy who insisted keeping socks on helped his performance. I did laugh and I'm not sorry.

Think butt holes.

You must be an absolute delight to be around.

@Cesarina anal oral sex.

Mate- you are on the WRONG forum

But what if they are? I'm sure some of the other lady's (besides myself) on here can say their fellas are rather well endowed. 😂

😂😂😂

I'm so glad men don't listen to some of the sex starved bores on here. Yeah there's cringey and vulgar stuff men shouldn't do but when you have a man that does the rough and tumble correctly and is abit of a stud. I'd say mind your own!

Love pimple??? Omg .