School challenging my decision to deregister DS after serious safeguarding concerns

[secondaryhell]

I deregistered DS today and I’ve already had an email and voicemail from the school trying to tell me that they need to check with the LA that I have the right to do so! Of course I do!

This is just another example of them trying to make out that I have less rights than I do.

They tried to stop me taking DS to medical appts in school time (said they wouldn’t allow him to leave the premises).
They referred for fines with the LA for days he had absent due to severe MH issues and SH. They gaslit us in meetings repeatedly, made plans to get him back to school then changed things which really unsettled him.

He was bullied and was told to ‘be more resilient’. He refused the hpv jab and had a teacher make disgusting comments that ‘you all know who to stay away from girls!’

I now have a child who needs a lot of time to recover and I need to look for a better school or perhaps home educate we aren’t sure yet. I just can’t believe in 2026 schools treat pupils and parents so appallingly.

They are saying that I’m de registering not for ds best interests but because I’ve already had 2 fines. That’s not the main reason the main reason is that ds is at crisis point and because we think they are an unkind and corrupt school.

While this tends to be the advice

This is often a long difficult process which can cause so much stress to the family.

In our case we spent years trying to get support in place. The process made me unwell because the LA will do everything in their power to avoid support for SEN. At the same time we were under incredible pressure to get the child into school (medical health issues, mental health issues and lack of support was making the child health worse and causing significant risk of self harm)
The final straw for us was the school and LA changing the absences to unauthorised despite medical evidence being provided
We were also being pressured to home ed (this is illegal but LA seems to be able to get away with breaking laws left right and centre).

In the end we couldn't keep fighting. We had to focus that energy on providing our child with what they needed. They are thriving now and making so much progress but not at the same level as peers (but they never were - which was why they needed support in education)

Home ed isn't an easy fix but sometimes it's the only viable option left.

In OP case I don't know if they would be better if continuing to fight or better off home educating. If you home ed you have to prove your child is recieving an education so if you home ed you need to familiarise yourself with this and provide an appropriate education for the child's needs and aptitude (it doesn't have to look anything like school through).
If you opt for GCSEs as home ed these are expensive but you don't have to do GCSEs
There are lots of alternative options available

It isn't just walking close to breaching GDPR. It is a clear breach if the teacher actually said this. And, as medical information is classed as sensitive, it is a serious breach.

@secondaryhell - From the information you've posted, it sounds like you have a decent case for appeal if you want to move your son to another school that is currently full.

Read the post. Scam said additional vaccines. This means anything not included in the NHS vaccination schedule. You might as well suggest that every child has cholera and yellow fever vaccinations, "just in case".

Sorry I should have been clearer I wrote the template de registering letter and said I will be home educating as I’m aware you can’t just de register with no onward plan but we are 50/50 as to whether we will find another school or home ed

If you've already given them the information, you can reply and say that 'further to my letter of xx deregistering my ds, I will now await communication from the local authority '
With the changes coming in (not in yet) schools and local authorities are under pressure to make sure their records are accurate and that they can't be accused of a child slipping through the gap. Your next contact should be from the EHE team and can be by email if that's your preference.)

How on earth did you come to that conlusion?

The point being made isn't that we're expected to follow the same rules, which has always been the case, it's that the systems in place don't work properly or aren't followed through properly when concerns are reported about children who are EHE primarily because people like yourselves make inaccurate assumptions about home ed, including not understanding the bloody laws properly (and this includes LA bods not understanding it properly either, not just the general public) How exactly is that the fault of home edders?

Parents have the responsibility to ensure their children receive an education suitable to their needs, whether that be school or otherwise, when you choose to said you child to school you are simply delegating that responsibility to someone else but it can be withdrawn if you do not feel they are fulfilling that duty. This hasn't changed, even with the new law they're bringing in.

What has changed is that parents may very well not be able to fulfil that responsibility (which is primary, not secondary legislation) once the new law comes in regardless of whether the child goes to school or is home educated because it's so restrictive and will massively increase the pressure on Local Authorities as well as parents. Eventually it may well lead to the government taking over the parent's responsibility to educate our children completely alongside the other laws they are bringing in that also handover these responsibilties to the government.

I am talking about the expectations parents have on teachers. Yes their main concern is their one child. Mine isn’t. They are 1 of about 30. This was my point. Sorry it wasn’t clear.

All schools will be feeling the pressure. Each year is more difficult. In England, I agree the system is awful. I can’t comment on any other country. 🤷‍♀️😐

The expectation parents have on schools and teachers is that their child is provided with a suitable education to meet their needs.

This is the legal minimum schools are meant to provide. Schools are not meeting this minimum expectations for every child.
It is the schools responsibility to meet the needs of every child

Exactly this, by parents choosing to delegate their responsibility to the school, the school is then responsible for providing that education suitable to the child's needs as per Section 7 of the Education Act 1996.

All parents are doing by choosing to EHE is actively choosing to take direct responsibility for their child's education. LA's have a duty by law to ensure to free education is accessible to all children. Parents are not required to send their children to school.

As it stands, with new law coming into force. There won't be enough school places for a sudden influx of EHE kids attending school and ironically LA's will end up failing in that duty.

Social services legally, can ask for police assistance if necessary for families who are not cooperating where concerns are reported and the threshold is met for intervention. That has existed for a very long time, so when home edders say 'they just need to follow the bloody law!' it's because we are sick and tired of being accused of hurting our kids, when things go wrong, simply because we are doing something that isn't the 'norm'. It happens DAILY especially when something awful hits the news and 99.9% of the time, it's happened because Local Authorities haven't carried out their roles properly, understood the laws around EHE or used the powers available to them properly.

Combined with the consultation currently taking place which will remove the right of appeal for parents of children with an EHCP (I have a kid with SEN, they are not easy to get in the first place) and a very worrying picture is emerging IMHO.

Often a mainstream school does not have the resources to meet a child's need. The LA don't want to admit this because it costs more money.

Meeting need also becomes subjective in many cases. I've been accused of not meeting need because I wouldn't write down the whole lesson in a child's book. That's a completely unreasonable request and not possible to action in mainstream, no matter how often the parent asked.

I don’t dispute this - that’s not what I asked.

My child can't take notes due to hyper mobility and difficultly writing a reasonable adjustments is to provide them with PowerPoint and lesson notes for each lesson.
It's not an unreasonable request.
We wanted specialist provision but the school insisted they could meet need (which the couldn't)

If you can not meet need as a teacher or school you should be making this clear to the LA so that alternatives can be explored

As parents no matter what evidence we have the Ala will not consider alternatives while the school states it can meet need

My one child has had 6medical appointments in since June. This is not unusual and some months is more than this. Each appointment normally takes months at of the day with travel and appointment
We home ed now but when they were in school this was not understood and we were always being questioned.

Children with medical needs are more likely to suffer more illnesses and he impacted more by illnesses that other children barely register or recover from quickly.

If you cancel appointments this is a flag to hospitals and your parent cancel anyway as these appointments are vital and you don't want to delay the appointment as this comes with risks.

Providing a ppt is fine. I'm not pre writing on all the model answers and methods. That would be hours of my time and isn't something I can regularly do while teaching. This is such a problem, parents think their single request is reasonable, multiply the requests by 30 for each child and you get teachers leaving the profession because of the insane workload. Reasonable is a BS term too. It makes no account of what has already been asked of the person being asked to provide the "reasonable adjustment".

We say we can't meet need. Apparently nowhere else can either, that's the issue.

However it's the holidays, I'm jaded as fuck after trying my best all year for parents to still think it's not good enough so you're getting my frank and full opinion.

Yes. When your child falls into a ratio of 1:20 that’s perfect. When your child falls into a 1:3 or 1:1 and there is a teacher and the luxury of a TA you may recognise the issue. Do you think the teacher should ignore teaching a lesson? Do you think scaffolding works for every under achiever? Do you think one behaviour can be ignored? Do you think interventions can happen? No.

Unfortunately, your expectations are lala land type expectations.

Yes because the school gets money for your child. Even more of they have an ehcp or siblings!

I can guarantee your child is of monetary value. You need to either move them or start shouting louder. Your expectation is not huge or unreasonable.

Then the government need to admit they won't educate children with SEN.
They can't say every day of education is vital and yet fail to provide education for a large number of SEN kids

The system isn't working and SEN children (those most vulnerable and most in need of early support) are being failed

Failure to provide the right support at the right time costs the country far more long term

Absolutely. It could work. You need the right support (good TAs) Teachers who will scaffold work and plan the lesson for everyone. That’s more money, more time and expectations from teachers.

TAs are not just cleaning pots and helping answer questions anymore. We teach. Cover sickness. Get hit kicked and reset. Deliver social groups. Mop ups. interventions. All for a crappy wage and no overtime or planning time.

Im in a tough school. My HT says yes to everyone. Yes we can meet need. It clears the deficit. (Another thing which should go and reset every year!)

I appreciate it's not easy for TAs or teachers

But it's also awful being a parent of a child being failed by the system

Isn't that kind of the point? It is the minimum expectation and it's not lalaland to expect that. The problem is that schools have a lot more pupils than they once did (my primary classes had a maximum of I'd say about 20 students and it was similar, maybe slightly more in secondary school) and LAs are not providing enough school places (or schools) to ensure their needs are met. Simultaneously schools like the one are above are heavily failing children and in some cases are the cause for safeguarding concerns because of their own actions and then have the nerve to say the parent isn't acting in the child's best interest by de-registering them and need to check they aren't breaking the law by taking their kid out when they should bloody know the law surrounding pupil de-registration in schools and what is required of them.

Add to this the new law that is coming into place which will actively discriminate against children with disabilities etc with the 'best interests' test and the current consultation that will take the teeth of the right to appeal against LA decisions regarding EHCPs by the putting the most important bits under a different name so that they cannot be appealed, and we have a very real problem that is only going to harm our kids, especially those who are actually vulnerable and being failed by the very system being given all these new fancy powers.

OP do join HEFA on facebook, it's a really good, supportive group and they know their shit!

Oh, we get the 'misunderstood' line a lot. It's been awful. Solidarity!

By design, GCSEs are graded such that a proportion of students will fail, no matter how well they do. They adjust the boundaries every year, after the marks are known, to ensure that the grade distribution follows the bell curve. Every year they know that roughly 35% of college starters will need to resit either maths, or English language, or both.

Yes the whole system is set up to fail a lot of pupils