School challenging my decision to deregister DS after serious safeguarding concerns

[secondaryhell]

I deregistered DS today and I’ve already had an email and voicemail from the school trying to tell me that they need to check with the LA that I have the right to do so! Of course I do!

This is just another example of them trying to make out that I have less rights than I do.

They tried to stop me taking DS to medical appts in school time (said they wouldn’t allow him to leave the premises).
They referred for fines with the LA for days he had absent due to severe MH issues and SH. They gaslit us in meetings repeatedly, made plans to get him back to school then changed things which really unsettled him.

He was bullied and was told to ‘be more resilient’. He refused the hpv jab and had a teacher make disgusting comments that ‘you all know who to stay away from girls!’

I now have a child who needs a lot of time to recover and I need to look for a better school or perhaps home educate we aren’t sure yet. I just can’t believe in 2026 schools treat pupils and parents so appallingly.

They are saying that I’m de registering not for ds best interests but because I’ve already had 2 fines. That’s not the main reason the main reason is that ds is at crisis point and because we think they are an unkind and corrupt school.

Yes he does need more resilience but not via shame which is how the school were approaching it.
CAMHS have seen him a couple of times now and are taking a brilliant approach to helping him which I can see will help. The school were just humiliating him and minimising violence against him and victim blaming.

The child is under camhs there will be eyes on the child

She was seen by social services though?

The teacher was wrong and completely unprofessional. DS refused the vaccine as he has a needle phobia and couldn’t have it done at school- the school knew this and I had told them we would be getting it done at a later date at the GP surgery so they had no reason whatsoever to laugh and joke about girls keeping away from him and humiliating him.

It's children who have the rights, like the right to an education. But I'm not surprised someone pushing the OP to that group would be totally focused on the parents and not the child.

Why haven’t you applied for an EHCP if school is so difficult for him to attend? He has a right to an appropriate education.

You don’t think that educating happens in home education? Home education is not some maverick, whacky cult whereby children don’t learn. Schools are not always appropriate for all children, especially secondary schools with their punitive disciplinary processes for minor infractions. As it happens, both of my children have been through the school system. I am contemplating home educating my second DD as our high school will no doubt be disastrous for her. I have 10 A grade GCCEs, four A grade A levels, a first class degree from a Russell Group university and a postgraduate qualification. I reckon I could make a good stab at it. I don’t know why people get so het up when others don’t simply follow the herd. Nobody is criticising your choices for your children.

If they "can't" refer to the LA, and can't prevent you deregistering, the LA will tell them that and there's nothing to worry about.

The school just want to check they've done everything they're supposed to do.

It’s not the school that issue fines, it’s the council. So do the council have concerns over attendance especially if they rejected the evidence OP provided?

Every member of staff in my school has to read and sign the “Keeping Children Safe In Education” - it’s part of the law for us to do so. So schools (and councils) will need to check regarding de-registration if they have concerns. It may seem personal, but we do have to do it.

You didn't even understand my post so in your case I would indeed be skeptical that your daughter will get an appropriate education with you.

My point was that you kept talking about the parent's rights. It's the child who has rights.

I understood it…

Unvaccinated kids shouldn’t be in school so it’s a good thing you’ve removed him.

Yes, agreed. But school is apparently failing the child. I don’t know why you would be sceptical that my DD would receive a good education in my care? Why is it making you so het up that other people do not rate the English school system that is so far down the world rankings?

So whose needs if not their own child’s, do you expect parents to consider?
😳🤷🏻‍♀️

So glad we left the English education system when DS was 5, as I can now clearly see how awful it would have been for him, if we’d stayed.

As it transpires, the small village Primary school in Ireland was perfect for him.

She was taken out of school with the intention of hiding abuse and she eventually died. Why do so many Home Ed parents jump up at down at a system at the thought of any kind of monitoring like it's personal? Just because they aren't abusers doesn't mean there aren't many children out there suffering or being wildly neglected under the guise of "Home Ed" If you aren't doing anything wrong then surely just let them check you out and be glad that children have the opportunity to be kept safe and are receiving the education they have the right to and will be able to live a fulfilling and prosperous life with.

It was the HPV vaccine so he is absolutely fine to attend school without it.

Why is your reading comprehension so poor? You keep replying to things I haven't said and reading a "het up" tone that isn't there. That's why I'm skeptical you'd be able to educate a child.

It'll be the LA policies combined with Statutory Guidance. Whilst you do have the right to electively home educate, they have the legal obligation to inform the Local Authority, including details of any concerns regarding welfare, safeguarding or whether they have had any concerns over attendance and in turn, the LA have their own legal obligations towards the safeguarding of children. As it is, there's also a legal obligation to share attendance data with the DfE and the LA via a live link, so the LA would already be aware of his attendance history and that referrals for fixed penalty notices have been made (plus any EWO involvement).

The HEFA group is a perfectly legitimate group, peopled by teachers, social workers, lawyers, police officers etc ie normal, fully-functioning people who for very many and varied reasons have removed their children from the school system.

Are you sceptical or skeptical? My SPAG is great, as is my reading comprehension ability.

Well, no. As you keep responding to imaginary arguments.

I wish your daughter a lot of luck.

The school have a duty to ensure your child is educated- you can't just de register your child because you don't like the school- unless you have another school or home education set up and approved. If every parent that didn't like a school was just allowed to deregister their child without making other arrangements and ensuring another school could take them, then very few children in the UK would get an education.
You are not the person the education system needs to satisfy , unless the school is a private one YOU pay for.
Your child is educated by the state paid for by the state- and that is who needs to be satisfied by a schools behaviour and results.
It is the law that your child is educated you can't just deregister them and decide that little nicety doesn't appy to you- you need to go through the set out complaints procedure and allow the school to answer your complaints, and if there is still an impass then and only then you can look into another school taking your child, although if you scan as a nightmare parent ( which considering the vague and dramatic lack of description of your complaints against school seems likely) then schools can refuse to cooperate.
Being this high handed means you need to be paying for the service.

You should go for an ehcp.

But does seem school have rather failed him because imo sh avnd camhs should mean school suggesting ehcp...

My autistic ds has a needle phobia as well. I told him to close his eyes and think about his favourite video game and let the nurse do her job. We need to help our children find ways to work through obstacles in life which they won't if they just get to opt out.

He's had some hard years in school as well but there was never an option to just quit. He was off for 3 months due to mh then started go back hours, pt then ft. And he's autistic with mild learning disabilities so quite challenged to say the least. If I had let him give up/avoid everything that makes him afraid he would be stuck in his bed with his video games.

We can understand, empathise and then we must try to be creative to find solutions that does not involve opting out no matter what fears/conflicts our children meet.

Well, unless school is turning a blind eye to the DS shagging behind the bike sheds, then this is highly irrelevant.